How did you ruin your child's life today?

[bobbythevet]

Water is too wet. And I wiped my own bum.

Silly mummy! You should know pandas don't live on farms!

I feel your pain. My 2.5yo has significant speech delay due to extreme prematurity. Her speech and language therapist told us to buy her books containing pictures of animals. Tell her the name of the animal and the noise they make. She already had about a hundred of these books and we'd already been trying this, but anyway, DD proudly brought me her Frogs and Reptiles book.

Frog! "Ribbit ribbit!"
Toad! 'Croak!"
Snake! "Hissssssss!"
Lizard! Errrr.... strange scuttling noise
Gheko! "I'm a gheko!" in a silly voice
Chameleon! "Where's your book about jungle animals?"

🤯

Took dd to her activity. According to her, I talked too much and constantly and I am so loud. Um I’m not. And I didn’t talk constantly. I had a conversation with some other parents and was not louder than them. And I wasn’t talking constantly either. For some of the time, they were talking amongst themselves.

Similar. I once again wanted her to change into pyjamas for bed.

I ordered mine a Domino's pizza delivery as a surprise post exam treat but didn't tell him in advance it was coming

Not today but last Friday when I drove child (13yr old) to bus stop rather than walking and she said thanks for ruining my weekend and slammed car door….because it was my birthday and her dad and I were going away and she was spending two nights at her grandparents…even though she was still meeting friends after school and on the Saturday and i Had bought all her favourite food so there was no issues
she was so unpleasant and her grandparents are lively but a bit stricter than myself…. Did feel a bit put out for about 5 minutes and then was like it’s my farking weekend and I haven’t been away for over 15 years without kids…byeeeee

Chores are to me where you could potentially pay someone to do it so gardening/clean car/dog walking…

tidying bedroom/laundry/dishwasher are stuff you just need to do and are kot a paid position 🤦🏻‍♀️

According to her, I talked too much and constantly and I am so loud

My (then) 11 year old DD was too embarrassed to walk next to me or talk to me once when I picked her up from a sports event. My crimes were to have a brief chat with another girl’s mother and to wear a blue top with a black skirt

I told her the puppy had done a "poopoo " apparently that is such a embarrassing word for 9/10 year old to hear ... I mean if I'd of said S**t it would of prob gone down. Better 🙈🤣🤣🤣

Mine didn’t even say it to me but told daddy that mummy has ruined his life. I apparently took his teddy bears?

Put on the white shoes that were requested when I should've KNOWN they actually wanted the blue

I didn’t download a game, due to it not being available to download.

I didn't take 7 year old DS to the playground afterschool so he could swap Pokémon cards.

Mr nearly 5 came home from school with a new playground song.’ Hi, my names joe and I work in a button factory…’
he was very upset that mummy and daddy already knew all the words from our school days!!

I looked at him when he did not want me to be looking. He went absolutely crazy

I wouldn’t let my 14 month old have the needle and thread that using to mend her jumper. Who knew that my not giving it to her would cause the end of the world hey…

My son asked if I knew what 5 plus 3 was -
I said yes.

I gave my toddler twins identical pieces of toast. Anguish, since one wanted the other one's piece.

Proof read DD 18s CV and covering letter for a holiday job and pointed out a typo apparently that wasn't why she'd asked me to proof read it......🤔

I interrupted 17 year old DD in the middle of fake tanning to ask if she could just peg out her rancid pile of washing which has been sitting on the garden table for 3 days.

I refused to go and buy a slush at 8.30 pm. I'm a devil.

Wasn’t today but these posts have made me remember DD being absolutely inconsolable for a good half hour.
she asked for a biscuit
I gave her a biscuit
she ate the biscuit
she then was grief stricken and insanely gutted and devastated.

she missed her biscuit.

Told DD (3.5) a story in which she found a talking rabbit in the garden, went into its burrow and had adventures. Ten minutes of sobbing because she didn’t realise I wasn’t actually going to stick her in a hole with a rabbit.

Turns out when she wanted a story about her, she wanted a description of our recent (uneventful) trip to the park.

Brilliant 😂 we've all been/being there

Not my children (today, anyways) but my grandchildren...

I made cake but because it contained carrots, they decided I was mean to them and one declared that they don't like me anymore (he's five).

Whatever.

My dog (a tiny shitzu) jumped on my daughter's ankle and I didn't hunt down the best doctor in the world to xray it because apparently its broken. She's been putting on the whole limping game all night but ran up the stairs when her phone rang completely limp free 🤷‍♀️ ruined her whole weekend apparently.