How did you ruin your child's life today?

[bobbythevet]

Water is too wet. And I wiped my own bum.

Lone parent here, you learn to have selective hearing and ignore a lot of things 🤣 you also favour the dog eventually because it actually listens to requests.

And if they are alive still at bed time and in relatively one piece, that's a success, even if they did have fish fingers and mash two nights in a row and the living room lamp has been broken by indoor football. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Made my 5yo wear his to school uniform; to school. I know.

Have been expecting a call from the welfare team all day but I guess they’re busy.

Instantly came running when he screamed a blood curdling scream, I then provided the exact help he asked for. 10 minutes of sobbing because he wanted to do it himself.

Helped to make him breakfast by passing his milk down out of the fridge. More sobbing because he wants to get it himself. He's 3 he cannot reach. I moved it one inch to his hand, that was also wrong. So we had to start from the beginning... And repeat.

He asked 'what's this way?' about the way to nursery, then we went the way to nursery, which is where he wanted to go.

DS1 is 24 next week and has a properly responsible job. I suggested he might look on YouTube for instructions on how to fit his bike inner tube back into the tyre. His little brother helped out by contributing a link. Clearly we are ganging up on him

Put her in the bouncy chair so I could have a poo (6 weeks old)

Wouldn't let her show the childminder my stretch marks (3 years old)

He made a soup in the garden with water, flowers and soil in a kitchen pot.

He then got his sleeves wet and since the weather is a bit colder today I decided to take him inside.

He threw a massive tantrum, but fell asleep 10 minutes and is currently passed out on the sofa.

I told my three year old that he had to put his shoes on again before we left soft play. I put my 15 month old down on the floor so that I could wee, resulting in such devastation that I ended up using the loo with him sat on my lap.

To be fair, this morning I left Asda without buying a pack of (much needed) new cutlery because either the forks were too flat, the teaspoons were too wide or the handles were the wrong shape.

These were my assessments, by the way, not those of a small child

I wouldn’t let my toddler eat out of the bin.

Mine wanted more milk in her cup, but just for decorative purposes. I outrageously suggested she drink it.

I'd buy you some chocolate if I could!! There's a lot to be said about adjusting expectations isn't there. My daughters diet is about 80% bread at this point. I've made my peace with it.

Also, dog is 100% my favourite because he doesn't ask for anything and never disagrees or challenges me. He likes me whatever I do. He is by far the easiest!

I turned down DS2’s (6) suggestion that he stay home alone for DS1’s (9) cricket match at the weekend. Apparently this is utterly unreasonable because I allowed DS1 to stay home alone for 10 minutes when I dropped DS2 at Beavers this week. He was very unimpressed that 6 didn’t get the same privileges as 9.

I've decided (after being up since 5:30) that I cba to ruin DD's (9 months) day. So she's chewing on my shoes.

I wouldn’t let Ds open any birthday presents early and wouldn’t tell him where they were. He’s 3 tomorrow and this caused an absolute uproar this morning and we were late for nursery and he went in with a face like thunder. He was having a party at nursery, apparently I ruined it.

I wouldn’t let him wear his green trainers.

note: he does not have green trainers.

then I offered him a big rice cake instead of the little ones he likes, then he became even more upset when I had the audacity to break it up into smaller pieces.

I gave him to daddy for a cuddle while I went to the loo (11 months)

My daughters wanted school dinners as it was Pizza menu but i prepared sandwiches

My son usually takes his phone in the car to play games on on the way to school (it's about 5 minutes drive) his phone was on 23% and he wanted to take the charger, I told him it would last the journey to school and he disagreed so he left it at home and told his dad who was taking him to school that I took it off him

Oh. I am stupidly fussy about spoons in particular. They have to be the right size, shape, weight. I hate having ones that are too big in particular.

Because I’m not a toddler, I have learned to keep this to myself though. I don’t think anyone else in the house is aware of my weird cutlery sensory thing because I usually get my own spoon and I do just get on with it when given the wrong one.

If I were two, I’d throw it on the ground and cry instead. 😁

I asked him how he got in his maths GCSE...

It was yesterday but I won't let DD 11 have my dressing gown belt to plait in her hair to make curls over night! I have no idea what the actual teen years will be like!

DD1 - unable to give her a lift to college
DD2 - the same
DD3 - dared to go out (she's off sick - well tired really due to coming back from a school trip abroad very late) and didn't come back soon enough

all because I need two new tired fitting today - selfish twat I am

weird cutlery sensory thing

Same here! I bought our cutlery over 20 years ago and really, really don't like using anything else. I love the cutlery we have, it has elegant handles with a pleasing curve which are comfortable to hold and nice to look at. Other cutlery handles are very often too flat and just wrong

He doesn’t want to live in our house any more and when asked where he wants to live instead he said next door. I am apparently unreasonable for not making this happen straight away!