If you did this sort of epic favour for someone, what would you expect them to provide

[Noclosure]

I feel I've been proper mugged off this weekend.

As a favour looked after a friend's 4 children and pets for 4 nights 5 days Fri-Tues so the couple could go on holiday.

The children include a teething and weaning 6 month baby who doesn't sleep. The older ones are in different primary school years.

The weekend included getting the kids off to their separate activities such as sports etc, some ferrying journeys and all the usual kid stuff you would expect including administration of medication, cooking, cleaning , laundry etc. Then all school runs on the Monday and Tuesday with the baby in tow.

What as a very minimum would you expect to be provided in the house if you are there to look after them but also have your own children there too? Would you expect to have to provide your own food for yourself and DC that weekend or would you think you'd just all eat together as a family?

I don't think I'm being unreasonable but I'm feeling really hurt and a bit taken advantage of with how things were left and what I had to do and provide/pay for so I'm just canvassing opinions.

OK, well I mean obviously not if there is some indication that they are incapable of looking after children properly. But I didn't see anything like that in the OP's messages.
They are really cheeky and clearly rather unorganised, but if they are generally good parents who are doing a good job with their 4 children when they are present I don't see why they couldn't reciprocate this enormous favour.

I'd expect enough food for ALL in the house, some money for a takeaway one night and a decent bottle of wine. That's a huge favour, I wouldn't ask anyone to do that for me personally. We have 4 nights out a year, one parent does a night each and we feel that's plenty as we have 4 kids, and they're all much older than the ones you've just looked after

I didn't THINK I'd need to have the conversation about filling the fridge as thought it would just be obvious.

I would not expect to have to have a conversation either. Frankly it would be good manners to fill the fridge and freezer and also give a small thankyou gift! Why on earth should you have been left to pay for food for their kids and then have to ASK to have it paid back. They might be super grateful but they are also super thoughtless!! I don't think this is your fault at all, you shouldn't need to be "clear" - what I have described above is good manners and common sense!

Please step back from them as they will want you to step in again when they book their next holiday. I wouldn’t dream of putting someone in the position you have been put in. Your clearly a good person wanting to help but sadly there are just too many people who will take advantage of someone with a good nature.

Please tell me it was their honeymoon or something?! That is unbelievable, just all of it. Ask to be reimbursed for every penny and suggest they buy you vouchers for the huge favour you’ve done for them. Sorry they haven’t treated you well, that is a huge huge kindness you did for them.

We took a friends son to school and back, 8 miles each way for a year. They gave us a bix of biscuits. We found an excuse for year 2.

Please come back and let us know what thankyou gift they give to you

I’ve left dc with dh for 5 days for a holiday with friends. I left them home cooked meals to microwave (massive lasagne and chilli) and told dh to get takeaway Friday if he wants. He’s totally capable of cooking but is working plus ferrying 3dc around to clubs etc on his own so I made it as easy as possible!

What wouldn't I expect!!! First off, would never do it unless it was a family emergency...but I would expect food for all, money, and then to be reimbursed for any being out of pocket. But no way would I ever ever DREAM of leaving my kids like that to go on holiday! Who does that???

Missing the point but why did they not take their children or wait until holidays and take them then.

@MayorDusty If I looked after someone's four kids for that long I'd want a damehood and three weeks in the Maldives.
Was it a surprise holiday or a competition win? How did you get roped in to that?

😂

I’d need three weeks in the Maldives after that!

Do say something OP - the longer you leave it, the harder it becomes to do so.

I did an epic favour for a friend, I looked after their two giant breed dogs for what was meant to be 2 weeks.

9 weeks later... having had to chase the owner around every week for money to feed them... having groomed them and removed a ton of dead fur, shitty fur, replaced tatty falling off collars and bought tags with my number on.. they collected them without even a fucking thankyou present.

I know friend was having a tough time, but they were also aware I didn't have spare funds to feed someone elses dogs.

I only agreed as they's looked after my giant breed dog for a week - a dog THEY bred - and I supplied the entire weeks food, plus box of chocs and bottle of wine plus dog clean, tidy etc etc.

I never said a word but it irritates me even now.

I would do a full shop and leave around £150 for extra food and drinks and take aways. I would also be treating you to a meal out and babysit once home.

they are extremely useless.

YOU are a superstar !!!!!

Wow I could never expect anyone to do that! I had an emergency on Monday and would have been 10 minutes late collecting my DS from nursery. My lovely friend who lives across the road walked and collected him for me in the rain with her 3 children. One of which is 3 who is the same age as DS, I bought her flowers and cider and thanked her profusely for being there to do that. 4 days with 4 kids including a baby is taking bloody liberties! You sound too nice OP, don’t be a doormat and have someone take advantage of your kindness!

Can I add - I know she likes a bottle of kopperberg so I bought her a case of 4 bottles. She doesn’t like wine or that would have been my go to 😂.

I think it's incredibly selfish of your friend to leave you with the care of 4 children for that length of time with nothing to feed them with. The 6 month old baby on it's own is heck of a responsibility and that's just too much to ask of anyone unless it's an emergency. A holiday isn't frankly a good enough reason to land you with the care of 4 extra children.😡

She should have at least provided some food and drink for them to last over the weekend and some money to take them to McDonalds and other activities. She should also have given you some money or a gift voucher so you could treat yourself a bit. Sheesh the CF'ery

We’re doing the same thing while we go on honeymoon, we have 4 kids.. leaving 3 of them with someone while we go away for 5 nights.

they will be ages 5, 4 and 22 months. No pets. She will be having them at our house along with her three children aged 12, 7 and 4.

I feel like what she’s doing for us is incredibly selfless and we can’t thank her enough for giving us the opportunity to go away together for a few days after our wedding..

we’re paying her £250, have a Tesco order arriving the day we leave to stock up the fridge and cupboards, and will be filling the car with petrol.

That is horrendous. YANBU! To leave their house with no food etc is out of order. Who do they think you are? A maid? I would chalk this up to experience and never offer to help them again. Unless you put a clear outline of what to expect. And I think that's what this boils down to, expectations and lack of communication. But either way, they are CF!!

Have you told them when ur going away for a week and when ur dropping yr kids off to them so they can organise it ahead of time? ;-) I wd even if you werent going, they can hardly say no ....

I would have made sure there was food ready to be heated up because I’d have felt so grateful to be getting away. Also would have left cash for a takeaway or tea out tbh, plus would have got you a pressie.
Not surprised you’re feeling pissed off!!

I would expect (what I would do if I were that parent) fuel money if I had to ferry kids around, a message before they went to ask what food and drink I like then the cupboards to be brimming. Money for a takeaway and a bunch of flowers with a lovely note!

I wouldn’t expect anything as I’m doing a favour for a friend. However if a friend did this for me there would be enough food in aswell as money for a takeaway or 2 and flowers, chocs, alcohol as a thank you.

Wow you are not unreasonable here. Washing in machine is very cheeky. Unless older kid was briefed as their chore

Id have filled the fridge. Pizza, easy meals for you. Snacks, drinks. What on earth does £50 cover?

They shluld have had shopping delivery morning of departure and house fully clean and tidy

If washing was in the machine, I’d probably leave it there!