What do you think when you see one of a couple drive more than the other? Do you judge?

[DrivingMrsW]

For example, when we go long distance journeys, it’s always dh who drives.
I’m not the most confident of drivers tbh and he isn’t the most patient of passengers, so it kinda works if he does the long distance stuff and I do the driving locally.

Our friends take turns with each other to drive long distance, and I can hear the ‘oh, Mr W is driving AGAIN’ comments.

They have seen me drive to and fro from social events (local, obviously)so not like I’m leaving dh to do it all 100%.

I do notice that men drive women around more than women drive men around.

If I judged it would be a presumption that either one enjoys it more OR (based on what’s said so often on MN constantly about not feeling like a ‘confident driver’) that the DH perceives himself to be a stronger driver than the DW perceives herself to be.

I wouldn’t be able to say what’s true.

Our friends obviously do 🙄😁

I've never noticed anyone making a comment, I tend to do most if not all of the driving long distance, I get nauseous as a passenger, especially if we are sitting in the back with the toddler.

My dad always does the driving in their household, mum has a licence but hasn't driven for years so has zero confidence.

Who would give a monkeys.~
Do you really think your friends are so interested with your life that they even notice
?

🤦 It's literally right there in the OP.

It would never occur to me to comment on who drives more, unless perhaps I thought one partner was being lazy/wussy and making the other do all the driving.

Traditionally men drive more so I wouldn’t notice if that was happening. I drive constantly during the day, but when DH is around, I ask him to drive, because he is the worst backseat driver ever and constantly commenting, to the extent that it can be dangerous! Things like “watch out!” when he sees a traffic light on a different horizon.

I think DH believes I ask him because I think he’s the better driver. 🤣🤣🤣

I would neither notice nor care.

I don't understand why anyone would care about this. I think your friends are strange.

I despair at the sheer amount of judgment in the world and if your friends have genuinely made this comment I would have to suggest you have a word with your husband to make sure it’s not something he’s moaning about. It’s very likely to do with alcohol anyway. Is your husband a fun drunk? Does he sometimes forego drinking because he knows you won’t drive back? Very petty of his friends to get involved and please please don’t give it another moment’s thought. It is none of their business.

BBC news this am discussing the fact that the commonest cause of death in the UK is dementia. Women are twice as likely to develop dementia as men. Scientists are not sure why. Hormones may play a part. Inactivity is another factor. isolation is another. It was also suggested that it was important to challenge the brain. Speaking more than one language can be protective as can navigation skills when driving.
I am as guilty as the next person about allowing my husband to drive but I suspect I should be insisting on driving 50/50 if I want to help keep my brain active.

Weird. If we're both in the car. DH drives. Unless he's had a drink. Don't know why?
Maybe because I have the (better) family car, he has a cheaper run around and a work van. So he like to take the chance to drive the family car.

I always drive if it’s 2 of us it’s just not under discussion. That includes 8 hours to Cornwall, abroad etc. he’s never driven abroad.
the only time he’ll drive me is if he’s dropping me off on a night out and I’ve got heels and it’s within a couple of miles. Any further we’d swap when I arrived. If he’s picking me up from somewhere he’ll go to the passenger seat unless I’ve had a drink. He doesn’t enjoy driving and isn’t good and I do and love cars so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh and occasionally the subject does come up with others as they worry about me getting tired and we explain it’s more stressful for me being a passenger but no one really cares.

I doubt I'd notice who drive more in someone else's marriage. I'm not that observant. If I did notice then I wouldn't care.

For us, we have our own cars (though can and do drive each other's). So we take whichever car works best for the journey/destination and the owner drives. Mostly. Unless someone of tired/has an alcoholic drink etc etc.

I think it's really odd that they comment, I mean is it really the first thing they say when you meet up? Surely normal people say things like 'great to see you', 'hope you had a good drive', 'what was the traffic like?', 'pitch your tent over here' ... why on earth would anyone comment on who is driving?