What do you think when you see one of a couple drive more than the other? Do you judge?

[DrivingMrsW]

For example, when we go long distance journeys, it’s always dh who drives.
I’m not the most confident of drivers tbh and he isn’t the most patient of passengers, so it kinda works if he does the long distance stuff and I do the driving locally.

Our friends take turns with each other to drive long distance, and I can hear the ‘oh, Mr W is driving AGAIN’ comments.

They have seen me drive to and fro from social events (local, obviously)so not like I’m leaving dh to do it all 100%.

You've lived a sheltered life. My friends are exactly like this. It's because the man in the relationship hates driving and will avoid it at all costs - partly for environmental reasons - he is happy to either do things locally or use his bike to get surprisingly long distances (but he's a professional male with a good job). The female in the relationship does all the driving because she just uses the car as and when she needs it and is happy to drive long or short distances. Their family car is very much considered hers.

I don't actually know if he's even got a license, I've never seen him drive a car

If my husband wants to drive, I’m quite happy to let him. Usually, if we are “my” car, I will drive and he will drive if we are in “his” car. We tend to use his car less frequently and more often for long distances. On balance, I drive him more than he drives me.

I couldn’t care less what other people think about who drives what car and when.

You and your friends should get a life.

I’d probably think that they were like me and DH - he really enjoys driving and I just do it as a necessary way to get places. So he does most of the driving when we travel together

Exactly this, MN sometmes seems to be populated by the most bonkers and their friends

Who are these people who notice, care, comment about such inconsequential shit

I don't think anything. I love driving and am more confident than DH but he is a very nervous passenger following a car accident where he was passenger (not me driving I hasten to add!) so he does most of the driving when we go places together as he likes to feel in control. People have all sorts of reasons and do whatever works best for them.

I wouldn’t notice. Nor would I care. It’s none of my business, so no judgment either.

I probably wouldn't notice. But even if I did I wouldn't judge. My DH does all of the distance driving. I can, and do, drive (daily) but I bloody hate driving long distance. He actively enjoys driving. So he does it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Obviously if it were a very long journey and he was tired etc I'd hop in and take my turn but I'd say it's about a 90/10 split in our house.

Whatever works!

Well I never drive as I don't have a license. If anyone judges they can quite frankly fuck the fuck off

are you saying they actually comment out loud about this? How rude!

Our friends take turns with each other to drive long distance, and I can hear the ‘oh, Mr W is driving AGAIN’ comments.
Really? This is quite odd, actually.

Yes it is pretty rude to repeat this imo.

Who could honestly be arsed judging that? How small is their world?

Tbh it's shit I notice - Mr next door never drives Mrs next doors car, but Mrs Next door drives Mr next doors car. Do I care enough to comment, nah.

Who cares?! You do what suits your family
If friends have an issue with it that's on theM 🤷🏼‍♀️

They can clear off. It is nothing to do with them if you or your DH drive. I have never once thought about whether driving is equally balanced in a couple.

My husband is more confident driving on unfamiliar roads and I'm a better navigator/trip planner, we play to our strengths when on holiday. He loves a winding, narrow country lane and I totally hate them. I find loads of fun things to do (along with where to park etc) and he drives us there.

It really doesn't matter. No one cares what other people do, especially who drives more.

Do they actually say it to your face or do you just overhear it? I would say "What a weird thing to have an issue with. It doesn't affect you in any way."

I always drive because I get carsick otherwise, but how it normally works for holidays is that we bring both cars because then the DC can bring a friend each and we have more luggage space (the dog crate takes up a lot of boot space).

I’ll say that nobody cares but in my limited experience it does still seem to be the man more than the woman. When I look at my elder relatives it is down to health and confidence, where the woman learnt to drive later and never did long distances. With my neighbours and friends it just seems to be the norm, unless there is a drink to be had when the driving is shared!
I can and do drive long distances, I used to drive for work and the better/family car was mine. Then my job changed so I bought a smaller car and DH changed to have the bigger family car and to use it for his commute.

If we got out locally we tend to take mine as it is easy to park and I drive. Any further we take DH car and he drives, or does the first stint if it is a longer distance, and I take the 2nd. I prefer being a passenger and he prefers to drive.
We go on touring holidays in the UK and abroad, we always split the driving.

Anyone monitoring us would think is was always DH

Dh nearly always drives, he's a much better driver, and comes from the the car industry, extensive driving courses. What a wierd thing for someone to be bothered about.

My DH does all the driving, as I am absolutely shit (I have my licence but don't drive) and he drove for work so is used to driving a lot and in unfamiliar vehicles. We no longer have our own car so it always hire cars/vans and he is fine with it.

We share the family tasks fairly, but don't split every task in half, as teamwork is about playing to strengths.

What's all this "confident driver" business? It's only something I ever see (on here) about women. How many men would ever admit to not being confident at the wheel?
Mind you, if you're NOT confident, I am wondering if you should even be driving.

If anyone judges why I always drive rather than my DH, or my dad always drives rather than my mum, they can fuck right off because my DH and my mum both have hidden disabilities which mean they’ve had to relinquish their licences.

But in reality I doubt anyone even notices.