Do you raise your eyebrows at people with 4 children?

[AnxietyForever]

Just above really? I always find 2 or 3 children are seen as the 'norm', what about 4 children?

I do not believe it's possible to provide that many children with enough care and attention (not to mention the money it would cost).

What absolute nonsense.

No, I wouldn’t judge. We only have 2, but I know a couple of families with 4, and the kids have an abundance of love and attention.

It wouldn’t even occur to me to raise an eyebrow.

I am one of four so it's normal to me.

Even back in the day (late 50s/60s) it was seen as a pretty big family.

Obviously there were downsides but I loved being part of a bigger family.

I always felt I short-changed my two.

Embrace it!

Yes because DH and I are both one of 4, and despite very different parents, we have similar issues from our childhoods and misgivings over large families

i don’t know anyone from a family of 4 kids who have benefited from it compared to if they parents had stopped at 2 or 3

@chippingin2 I do not believe it's possible to provide that many children with enough care and attention (not to mention the money it would cost). I have 8 children and spend more time with them than parents whose children are in childcare/school or with a nanny 10/11 hours a day.
My younger children are home educated with one sahp and a one wfh parent who works only 21 hours while the children are awake. The rest when they are asleep.

Personally, I find 2 children too middle of the road for who I am.

lolz- so you think having a large number of children makes you more interesting????

No. I have three and I only have practical questions like, how many kgs is your washing machine and how do you hide another set of Christmas presents around the house?

There have been quite a few threads about this over the years and (some) Mumsnetters from larger families have commented that it hasn't always been great, they did feel they missed out on parental support etc.

But as always, mothers are judged for whatever we do (strange that fathers don't seem to be so judged), I am sure people judge me for having an only DC.

I have 4 and am not a chav nor rich and I am British. Don't see the relevance in that last generalisation tbh. They are all loved cared for never gone without and the oldest is now 23 the yong

If I had the opportunity, I'd have just kept on going until the babies stopped turning up 😂. My body had strong opinions on what it needed to be doing, but those feelings weren't shared by my husband or bank account

Nope, no judgement here. I've had comments myself and I shrug them off. Literally no one else's business. And congratulations!!

I do get the whole two kids being a bit vanilla for some people. I definitely needed an extra one but I wouldn’t bother after a certain point. Having babies over multiple decades is a bit dull in my opinion.

Oh don't be ridiculous. I've got cousins who are a set of 5 children. They are the loveliest people you could wish to meet, close, loving, successful careers and have all been happy in long term relationships for donkeys years. They lost their dad when they were all still young, so only one parent to provide the 'care and attention' to five of them. They still turned out fine.

No OP I wouldn't think anything of someone having 4 children.

Youngest 12 not sure what happened with my previous post .I've always worked full time never claimed a penny it doesn't matter if you have 1 or 4 skint is skint why be so judge about larger family's. I love our get togethers one big family that will get bigger more people to love and be loved by not sorry if that upsets anyone tbh.

@chippingin2 oh behave.

Nope, wouldn't think twice .

OP I have one sibling (we don’t get on so may as well be OC) and I’d flipping love 3. Let me tell you as someone who’s recently lost a parent, I really found myself yearning for that support network that really only close family can provide.

good luck sweet heart, you’ll be great! There’s always going to be haters but any decent person wouldn’t judge or raise an eyebrow

How are people affording children? And the childcare associated with having multiples of them? One alone costs a grand a month in nursery fees. How can four children be affordable?

Its fine as long as they can afford to raise them with their own money. Not because they expect more benefits 😅😅

Breed?? That's pretty snobby and disrespectful.

We have 4, 13, 11 and 7yo dts. I absolutely don't struggle to spend the with them 1 to 1. I also make sure I'm very involved in their lives at school i.e I do school library, forest school, swimming etc

judge me all you like, couldn't give a shiny shit.

Though there's a woman that lived in our town with six kids, all looked and treated rough as fuck if you heard/saw her, she was arrested for drunk trampolining naked while abusing the police. I absolutely judged her.

In the other hand my friend and my sil have 6+ and they are SO attentive.

I'm one of 4 so it seems totally normal to me... until I see someone with 4 young kids then I think wtf??!

I have one!

Depends if they’re being funded by you and your partner or expecting the tax payers to ‘help’. Otherwise, you can have as many children as you can manage and afford.

Some of us with 4 are smart enough to realise that childcare for 4 is impossible and we stay home, I know, shocking concept huh

I'm one of 4 and by no means think it's strange... 4 kids is definitely a big family there's no debate about that. You can't even get all your kids and both parents in 1 car unless you have a very large car.

I think one thing I can't stand to hear is the mums say well I have 3 to pay for...and so on. 🙄

I think if your children are close together like 3 under 5 people will look because it's busy let's be honest!

Such a ridiculous question, isn’t it?