Do you raise your eyebrows at people with 4 children?

[AnxietyForever]

Just above really? I always find 2 or 3 children are seen as the 'norm', what about 4 children?

I've got two, that's enough for me, I couldn't have coped with anymore. From being pregnant with my son, to my daughter going to school at four and a half, I'd spent over seven years wirh everything being all about them and even then I still had years before they were independent.

I'm one of 4, DH is one of 6. DM and DF are one of 4 and one of 7 respectively. It would never occur to me to raise an eyebrow about 4 children.

FWIW I adored being one of four. I always say how my siblings were my first and forever peer group and I never felt any need to conform or cave to peer pressure because I had this ironclad eternal support system. My siblings are my very best friends to this day.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, OP! I know it's scary, but just remember that if it's not this, people will find something else to raise eyebrows at! ‰

@Fridgeorflight I agree, I think it all boils down to the parenting.

I have the opposite experience to DH as I’m an only child (they would’ve liked a second child but it didn’t happen and fertility treatment was in its infancy). Growing up, I envied my friends in larger families, I was definitely lonely sometimes, especially on holidays.

I wouldn't judge if they were paid for by the parents, rather than the State. Other than thinking "why on earth would you want to do that to yourself?!"

I do when they complain about the cost of really ordinary stuff like feeding and clothing them. Buting school shoes for 4 kids are expensive, who knew?

I’m one of four, we have so many nephews and nieces that a quick visit is more like a party and quite overwhelming for my husband with one sister and ‘only’ child parents. He finds it all at bit crazy!
Granny is one of 13, and all are/were wonderful people.

I have 3, couldn’t have coped with four - know I’d had enough! Bit that why people get choices isn’t it?

Thanks, I've now educated myself:

www.gov.uk/guidance/claiming-benefits-for-2-or-more-children#special-circumstances

You may be able to get the additional child amount for a third or subsequent child ... if the child or children were conceived when you were in a controlling or coercive relationship

No, because I have 5.

Nope.

Nope.

I have 11. Gave up giving a fuck many a dc ago....

No, I have 5 so it'd be a bit hypocritical if I did.

@chippingin2 I am definitely not home schooling. My eldest has a first from Durham, and left school in year two so I must be doing something right.

I only got 2 boys. Its enough for me. I can afford to have more but i want to give the best for both my boys. I want to be able to go on holiday twice a year at least, i want to be able to giving them extra curricular lessons and they both in private school. Having more kids means i have to do lots of sacrifices and i cant put 3 kids in private school. So 2 its enough for me

I usually think that woman is made of much stronger stuff than I am.

Just because your family wasn't great, that doesn't mean everyone else's family is the same. My dc have definitely had plenty of quality time and no, my oldest has not been responsible for looking after the youngest!
I think that as a sahp, I've maybe had more time on a day to day basis to spend with my children, than someone with a full on job and fewer dc.

I do tbh. Anyone with more than two kids I wonder how all the children get enough time with their parents.

I’m one of 3, and have a massive family. There’s a reason I have 1 Dd and will only ever have 2 maximum.

Absolutely no eyebrow here. 4 is a fab number, and the one I would have happily have reached.

Really hope all the people preaching environmental responsibility don't give themselves a free pass to eat meat, drive and fly. The fact that extra people is the biggest contributor doesn't mean the others are insignificant and people get very sanctimonious about this particular thing.

I always wanted 4 but after two losses and a nine year gap I thought I was incredibly lucky that ds3 arrived safely and decided to call it a day. Now he’s 15 and in the middle of exams I’m quite relieved he’s my last.

I’m one of 2 and I’m close to my sister. I would have liked more siblings but perhaps we wouldn’t have had the good relationship that we do if there had been more of us. Quite a few of my friends have 4 kids so I don’t think it’s that unusual.

Congratulations! I have 3 would have liked a 4th. People judge mothers whatever they do, just do what is right for you.

My husband is an only child - that's been difficult for him since his parents died. I like having 3 siblings - it's good to have company and support with our parents, who are getting older and have failing health. I know that you don't usually think about old age and dying when having kids but it is nice to know that when I go, they'll be 4 kids to remember our shared history and all the little stories that made 'us'.
I think my husband has struggled a bit with all that being gone now that his folks are no longer with us.

I'd love to have 4 DC but wouldn't be able to afford it. I would want them to have their own rooms and for us to afford to go on holidays and do nice things. I wouldn't want to be scraping by. My ex has 2 lots of 2 and looks knackered, plus he's skint.

Also -

1. It's home educate, not homeschool.

2.If a teacher can teach 30 children, why can a mother not mother and teach 8? How do you know it's impossible? Ever done it? 3.People who are so damn sure big families are terrible for the kids are talking out of their arses imo. I'm from a v large family and wouldn't change it.

Nope.