Do you raise your eyebrows at people with 4 children?

[AnxietyForever]

Just above really? I always find 2 or 3 children are seen as the 'norm', what about 4 children?

I raise my eyebrows at more than 0.

No. I think it must be nice

I have 4 children under 5. Middle 2 are twins.
we are fortunate enough to have a babysitter 2/3 times a week and when she is here I/we take one of the kids out to spend time with them. Even when she is not here, sometime I take 1/2 out and my dh keeps the rest at home. It works really well for us. I feel they all get the attention they need. Yes, there are times 2 are crying at same time, but we also manage that well too.

I also have a few friends with 4. Mostly second marriages, so 2 in each. One went for a third with her second husband and got twins.

My ex BIL has 5 - 2 with my sister and 3 with second wife. All fine, everyone gets on - children range from 12-30!

My great Nan had 13 - including two sets of twins. A couple sadly died in childhood and she took in 4 off the doorstep. My mum thinks they were all left by the same woman. No contraception back then. Very sad but my great Nan and grandad brought them up as their own. Mums still in touch with their families,

Nah, I'm Catholic and most of my friends are one of 4.

My generation seems to be stopping at 2, or if they can afford it 3 though.

Not all big families can afford it though. I have neighbours who have just had their 4th child. Neither of them work (through choice), they are always complaining of being hard up and really cannot afford that many children

Supermum!!! More like super stupid and super selfish

Me and DH have been vegetarian for over 40 years. Have flown 4 times in 40 years (that's 2 return trips) and only short flights. Only drive when we really need to.

So I will disapprove of anyone that has more than 2 children

I tend to just vaguely wonder how on earth the parents can keep it all together and not be permanently exhausted! There are a couple of families at my Dcs school (private school) who have four and I marvel at how expensive it must be. Otherwise I do not think much about it.

I follow loads of online homemaking blogs and alot of them are US-based. My two favourites have 4 children and 7 children respectively AND they homeschool. In the latter case the father works out of the home and the mother homeschools and runs their small farm. I raise my eyebrows at that a bit mainly because understanding how they manage all that and keep their sanity is really beyond me.

So I will disapprove of anyone that has more than 2 children

Why not disapprove of any dc?

I don't want to kick you or anybody while your down. I'm a single parent to one DC myself. I'm one of 4. What really boils my piss is that this is from the mums POV how they enjoy having 4 kids. But do the kids though as adults.

My mum was practically a single parent with my siblings my dad and her were toxic and the continued to have my 2 sisters 10 and 13 years later after my brother and I.

Bottom line is I'm sure you love your kids dearly we ALL do but 4 kids for ONE person is a lot to deal with I could not do it. I enjoy time for myself as well as being a mother.

I’m one of five and LOVED my childhood. Even now as an adult, I am SO grateful to have an entire team of siblings to hang out with, chat with and support. We all get on well, always have done and I genuinely think that the knowledge that I have always had 4 built in friends for life has made me so much more confident and happy throughout life.

I have 3 DC. Our own population here in UK is actually declining, which isn’t great news for us when we’re pensioners and a reduced population is trying to sustain us. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at any number of children unless it appeared the parents couldn’t clothe them/ feed them.

No, I’m a big fan of minding my own business. And I’m one of six myself (including 2 stepbrothers so my mum has 4 bio kids).

I (silently) judge anyone who has more kids that they can properly provide for, whether that's 1 or 10. Wouldn't necessarily raise an eyebrow at 4 if they all seem loved and cared for.

I just think they’re lucky to be able to afford/manage it.

My dd has 3 but she started relatively late and has said more than once that if she’d started rather younger and they had more money, for e.g. a bigger house and yet more childcare, she’d have had another.

No I think big families are lovely but couldn't do it myself.

You’ll be ok if your eldest is 9.

I’m one of 4. I am the eldest. I was 4yo and had 3 younger siblings and yes if I see people with 4, I do wonder. I’d assume the last was unexpected.

I wouldn't judge at all assuming you are capable of paying for their upbringing yourself and won't force grandparents/other relatives to help with the regular childcare.

Living in a northern city with a multicultural community, 4/5 is the norm round here.

Actually couldn't give a rats arse if people judge me (I'm white British) for having a large family. But where I live no one does, otherwise they'd get an eye roll and nothing more. I don't defend my choices.

I don’t judge at all, I look at them for parenting tips to be honest. I am in awe of anyone who raises kids, seriously.

If you want a fourth, have the baby. If YOU don’t then you have options. If someone judges you, the you know not to bother with them in your life. And if a stranger judges you, then they are a rude arsehole!

Your family is your business!

All the best with your choices.xx

No-one else's fucking business. I am one of four, DP is one of six (we are all adults now. All work, pay tax etc).

We have 3 DC but we have 2 siblings who went on to have 4 DC and one of my inlaws has 5 DC. All paid for by themselves. No benefits.

For clarity 2 siblings who went on to have 4 DC each just in case there was any confusion

I've yet to meet a family with four children that are supporting themselves and not heavily reliant on benefits/taxcredits (yes I know there is a cap or something now). This I would raise an eyebrow at as I think it immoral to have more children knowing you cant support them

@Oldraver

All the families I know with 4 children are very affluent.

That a bonkers argument It's ignoring the biggest contributer of co2 individually. Someone who drives a ford Mustang and flies and eats meat has less of an environmental impact than the extra child.