What's your useless talent?

[MrOllivander]

Making cottage pie and was thinking!
I can always make 5 portions of anything. Pasta, cottage pie, stew. It weighs exactly to split into 5 even if I don't weigh the ingredients

What's yours?

I am a superhero at packing shopping. Supermarket Tetris. It's such an overlooked, unappreciated talent.

I can fold down a pop up play tent so it fits back in the flat circular bag.

I can pack at Aldi as fast as the items are thrown at me....

I can make a very realistic owl noise with my cupped hands 🦉

I can make a really horrible screechy noise with a blade of grass in my hands ... impresses small children!

I can wiggle my ears... independently and together.

Headstands. I’m nearly 50 and can still do perfect headstands.

I can do the blade of grass thing and the Aldi packing magic trick too.
My favourite though is that I can change a super king bed by myself.. and I'm only 5ft 5 and have T-Rex arms

These are extremely impressive. And the 5 portions talent is not at all useless, I think it's worth a mint!

I know the time without looking at the clock, have ever since I was a child.

@AndSoTonight it would be, if I didn't live alone
I always eat one, freeze four. But it's every single time. I even weigh the cooked portions to check what to split it to and dunno why I bother. Five portions

That’s not useless. 🤣

I can make myself heavier and can pick up stuff from the floor with my toes

My thumbs are double-jointed and I can make them pop in and out of joint - fascinates children, especially boys that like being grossed out.

Also, I can walk on stilts.

My urine is practically clear. I drink a lot of water 😀

Being able to Fanny fart on command.

I have a lot of useless things I can remember. Can't remember what I did 5 minutes ago.

These are fab. I can usually make a very good guess at the time. I can also tell, almost to the second when the Alexa alarm will go off after being set while cooking. I never need an alarm clock ( though I set one anyway just in case!) I always wake a few minutes before it goes off, and I change the times most days.
I can pick up a handful of coins and pretty much have them spot on by weight/eye for a money bag.

I can flare my nostrils on demand.

😂

I agree. Can you get camping chairs back into the bags too?

Oh and DD1 inherited this talent, much to her delight!

I can sound like a seal when I cough ? I admit it is not a constant talent , only available for hire whilst I have a really sore throat 🙄

I can tell which coins have been dropped onto hard floors, even when several land at once. This talent is especially useless in e.g. station concourses where I can tell that a total stranger several metres away dropped a 50p, three pennies and a pound coin. I would never actually mention this talent to said stranger, just sit there feeling a bit smug that I know which coins they just dropped.

Wait, you mean everyone can't do this?

@Caminante I can't flare mine. Boyfriend just asked me why I was pulling faces at him