What's your useless talent?

[MrOllivander]

Making cottage pie and was thinking!
I can always make 5 portions of anything. Pasta, cottage pie, stew. It weighs exactly to split into 5 even if I don't weigh the ingredients

What's yours?

That is so not a useless talent. Take it from someone who has no idea what note will come out of my mouth even if the right one is clear as a bell in my head.

I can slice unsliced bread into perfectly even slices as if done by a machine. Useless talent now as I buy sliced bread but came in useful when I worked in a bakery and the bread slicer broke down (frequently).

I can also flare my nostrils. I can also sing 'How much is that doggie in the window' backwards.

I also can list all the books in the New Testament.

I can spot four leaf clovers with ease, I found twenty yesterday when walking the dog. I wish I had a talent that made me money.

I can do the splits (both ways), absolutely no use at all.

I'm a crack shot and I can lasso a barrel at 20 paces. Pretty useless skills in modern Britain 😂

I can also complete a rubix cube while on a galloping horse. That's a useless skill in any reality!

Fighter pilots can do this I think?

My useless talent is that I can make origami water bombs out of paper. It's the only thing I can make out of origami and it stopped being useful about a week after I learned it one summer as a teenager lol.

I can automatically feel exactly 20 chips in my hand (casino chips- I was briefly a croupier)

I can also shuffle chips, sort of mix yep lots of 10 into 20 in one hand.

Makes staff very wary the few times I've been to casinos in later life because the only people who can do that are croupiers (you are not allowed to go to any other casinos if you work for one - in th UK anyway) or a serous high roller. As I'm clearly not the latter I always get followed around by pit bosses.

For someone who is mildly dyslexic, I'm spectacularly good at crosswords.

I can catch things. Very random, badly thrown, particularly weighty or not things. All things. I can usually catch them.

what a waste

When I attempt a celebrity impression or accent it often transforms into a perfect imitation of something else altogether i.e. Mick Jagger will emerge as on Janet Street-Porter, Swedish accent goes Geordie!

I can walk on stilts and do hundreds of jumps on a pogo stick.

Seriously? Any language? Like, Czech, Finnish, Hungarian?

I can strip and reassemble a machine gun blindfolded, and do a Mexican wave type belly muscle roll.

And no, not everyone can flare their nostrils when they want.

Doing the splits both ways would be very useful to me, I lost that ability when I was 19!

I can pick things up with my toes, and read and write upside down.

I can do an uncannily accurate impersonation of a goat bleating.

I can flare my nostrils and roll my tongue...(at the same time)

Me too!!

In all the useless skills, this is the uselessest!!

Not everyone can flare their nostrils?!!! I can wiggle my eyebrows together and independently.

I can milk a cow! I was born and grew on a small island in a small holding so we had lots of animals and a cow for milk!

I can burp on command, as loud as you want, and 'speak' whilst I do it. It's disgusting.

Ok, you don’t like my nostrils 😂

Here’s an alternative one. I can jump into my ski bindings. Both feet at once.

Does that count?

I'm a little bit psychic. It would be useful but I have no idea how to control it.

I can remember the birthday of every friend I made between 1982 and 1994.