What's your useless talent?

[MrOllivander]

Making cottage pie and was thinking!
I can always make 5 portions of anything. Pasta, cottage pie, stew. It weighs exactly to split into 5 even if I don't weigh the ingredients

What's yours?

Oh I have another. I can make trumpet noises when I blow my nose. It fascinates DH

I can spell.

I had no idea that not everyone can do this! Knew wiggling the ears wasn’t something everyone could do.

I can predict when the alarm for the oven will go off.

I can find my spot in a book within a couple of seconds even if I haven't picked it up in weeks.

I can make a shamrock shape with my tongue

I can weigh out money in my hand. So can take a handful of pennies and tell you when they make up £1 without counting them.

I can also do perfect headstands and am a good mimic.

All useless.

I can cook enough pasta or spaghetti
no matter how many people I’m cooking for
never not enough or too much-spot on everytime

im told that’s a talent as everyone else either cooks one piece or enough to feed 92 people

I can flare my nostrils too and I can move my eyeballs independently of one another.
I can also perform a marvellous impression of chewbacca.

Oh and I can gurn.

I can move both eyes independently. Like going cross-eyed but then can move one eye (at a time) on its own.

Great for freaking out kids, useless for anything else.

I can put my legs behind my head.

I'm a pretty good shot with an air rifle 😁 I've never shot at a moving or living target though!

I also have very good facial recognition. I might not be able to remember your name, but I'll recognise you if I've seen you before, even if many years have passed.

I know if something is spelt wrong even if I don't speak the language...

@Fuuuuuckit we have the same talent 😬

But how on earth do you predict the appetite of your guests? Being able to cook a certain weight of pasta by eye is definitely a skill, but to always get it exactly right for how hungry people are seems like black magic??

My elbows go backwards. It makes reaching for things behind me very easy, and I never have an itch on my back that I can't reach - I can reach all of it

I always make the correct volume
of liquid to fill the container eg stock/sauce/gravy/soup. Never measure anything beforehand.
On the other hand I am incapable of making the right amount of pasta whether I measure it or not.
Usually I manage to make too much and not enough at the same time. Maybe this could count as a talent?

My own useless talent is (apart from being able to flare my nostrils apparently) I can bend my toes backwards at the first joint (i.e. the joint just below the top can bend down like inverting to the ground) - according to my friends and family who have seen this, it’s weird…

Erm, can some people not do this??

I can peel and chop onions without crying

I can tell if batteries are dead just by holding them (they are lighter)

I have perfect pitch.

I always know when I'm using my last staple 🤷‍♀️

I read all these examples and my greatest reflection is that I have literally no notable talents. I am quite good at some things, and mediocre to utterly shit at others… but I don’t think I have have any talents that are remarkable in any way at all. 🤣🤣

i guess I could think of things I am remarkably shit at. Not in a self indulgent, woe is me way either. I really am especially crap at some things. It doesn’t mean im
bit quite good at others. Just that if I’m going to excel, I’m doing it the wrong way!

For example, I feel I could probably stage a world record attempt at the fastest inadvertent staining of any item of light coloured clothing after being put on. 😁

If that is a ‘talent’, it’s most certainly a useless one.

I actually find myself wondering how everyone else manages to stay vaguely clean all day. It’s been a life long mystery to me.

I can fold two tea towels in opposite directions simultaneously by flicking my wrists. Really impressed myself with this skill years ago and always thought it might impress toddler DC. It didn't.