Anyone watching Amber heard take the stand?

[Meltinthemiddle]

Really not sure what to think tbh.

@PlasticineMeg Please see my previous post about his exit door being behind her.

Absolutely agree with this!
There is a massive amount of misunderstanding of what it's like to live with an alcoholic or addict. They lie, they manipulate, they minimise, and they blame you for their behaviour. They can make you start to believe you are going crazy, that what they did, what happened wasn't as bad as you say. Or that somehow you caused it. So yes you do take pictures as much as evidence for your own peace of mind as anything. And you don't leave because you believe that if only they could stop the drinking/drug-taking that things would be ok.

There are so often posts on here from women who report how their OH's behaviour changes for the worse after drinking (in fact there is one in Active right now!) so I'm stunned that so many refuse to believe that JD becomes abusive with the level of drug and alcohol abuse he clearly has.

At best that makes Depp just another man barging towards an exit irrespective of anyone else's needs or requirements, when that space was already occupied lawfully and properly by a woman who was in the process of leaving it within, what, about 20 seconds? (It reminds me of travelling on public transport, leaving lifts, queuing in general, walking along pavements.)

It just seemed so unnecessarily performative from him, when he could have waited.

Not a good look for him. He's surrounded by a 'team' - they're not much use to him, really, on the face of it.

I'm not a behaviouralist but I do have decades of experience of men barging their way around shared spaces.

@SpindleInTheWind I agree he could have waited. It might have been unintentional as in he just wasn't thinking but it could have been intentional. We can't know.

Either way him chuckling about it doesn't paint him in a great light does it.

He's been giggling a lot during the trial. Disrespectful considering how serious it is.

@youvegottenminuteslynn I know what you mean but I have to admit that I have found some parts of the trial funny. Such as that man who drove away while doing his deposition and the Judges face was classic

I lived with an abuser who was a narcissist alcoholic abuser but he was a she. I recognise many of the traits AH displays and it makes me very uncomfortable to watch. I listened to the tape where AH admits to domestic violence against JD and she clearly says ‘you always want to walk away’. My ex was like that goading and hitting until she got the fight she wanted. Never letting anything lie. JD is an absolute train wreck and an addict and a abuser too but AH is certainly not blameless in any of this. There’s Jonny’s truth and Ambers truth and then the reality which probably lies between the two testimonies,

Yeah that was funny, I agree - and the whole courtroom tittered. Understandably as it was bizarre.

But JD has been giggling and smirking regularly throughout testimony about allegations of abuse at a trial in which he's suing someone for $50m.

Not just at universally funny bits like the guy driving, but at serious testimony about something he says has cost him his fortune and reputation.

@youvegottenminuteslynn It's not misogynistic to question why a woman who claims she was violently abused for years decided not to leave but to stay and film him. It's not misogynistic to not believe everything a, woman says.

As it happens I do believe a lot of what she says, but not all. And I do believe a lot of what he says but not all. I think they're both guilty of abuse and neither should walk away with a clean slate. I also think that both should have left and the fact that neither of them did, makes them equally responsible for the eventual outcomes they both experienced.

@Midlifemusings Thank you for posting that recording, it is absolutely unbelievable and, if trus (as it seems to be) no wonder Johnny is laughing his way through this. No wonder the nnurse and the other guy said what they said... they were repeating exactly what happened.

My mind is 100% made up. She was an abuser and a liar.

And for all the people trying to derail this thread with misogyny accusations,
this is about domestic abuse and I resent being accused of misogyny. It is bloody ridiculous.

Maybe he really needed to go to the toilet.

I agree, surely if she was beaten as badly as she explains with blood on her feet and her hair been dragged acorss floor , why on earth haven't any of the other staff mentioned to her? It's just her saying how sorry she is and they want to give her something to calm her down, what about the blood?

Also when she explains the horrific things that she said happened to her , it cuts to a photo which u expect to show how awful it was and its like not even a photo of what she is talking about? It's so bizarre that anyone could think that ok

@TheSillyMastiff I'm the same. I recently had to make a statement and the PC wanted me to go back 25 years so they had a full picture. I can recall the first assaults (I think because I was pregnant) and I can recall the last violent assault (broken fingers that healed without treatment) but all of the "small" attacks, my memory is very hazy. In fact my statement was all over the place where I ummed and aahd over dates, even the year we bought a house. She, of course, may have kept a diary and that's how she can recall so well.
I'm not saying I believe him and not her by the way, that relationship was violent from both sides I think, but by dragging it back to court over and over again they are still enmeshed in some kind of toxic relationship even if that's no longer romantic.

Having unfortunately had personal experience with DV. This is EXACTLY the kind of thing that he would have done to demonstrate the power he had over me.

Having unfortunately had personal experience with DV. This is EXACTLY the kind of thing that he would have done to demonstrate the power he had over me.

Same.

Including his little laugh and shoulder shrug at her reaction.

That's what it reminded me of. That textbook routine of, 'OMG see what I have/had to put up with, she's crazy'. It's a tired old trope from lots of men.

I was just watching a video and it has clips of him during his 2018 trial deposition and he also smirks and smiles as he talks - even though it is just a deposition. It seems that is a typical mannerism for him. He smiled when he mentioned being afraid he would lose his finger as he had MRSA.

That's what it reminded me of. That textbook routine of, 'OMG see what I have/had to put up with, she's crazy'. It's a tired old trope from lots of men

Yes that kind of dynamic come across to me from JD.

Smashing up rooms around family is absolutely DV. You are clearly very ignorant on this issue. Not difficult to find information about this.

@50ShadesOfCatholic In my post I stated that it does not equal being violent to a woman, as in physically hitting them. Smashing things up is of course a form of DV, I never said any different but just because someone smashes things does not mean they beat women up.

This thread is just as disturbing as the court case. Seems society still has a long way to go when it comes to understanding domestic violence, trauma and trauma behaviour.

You can be a man and be a DV victim.
You can be a woman and be a perpetrator of DV.
You can be a man and be both a victim and a perpetrator.
You can be a woman and be both a victim and perpetrator.

I don't know if AH is lying or not (none of us do) but what I don't understand is why JD isn't being held to the same standard she is. People keep asking why she didn't leave if he was so abusive while at the exact same time saying that she was abusive to him and yet they never ask why he didn't leave her. Both are as bad as each other and nothing good can come from this but hopefully it will get people talking about how DV is such a scourge on society and that anyone can be a victim/and/or perpetrator no matter your bank balance, gender, ethnicity etc.

But that's kind of the point...all the secret camera footage and recordings and all the photos and yet none of it shows him abusing her...yes he smashes things up but that's not what she's accusing him of, she says he's hit her and hurt her, but has shown nothing to demonstrate this, despite months/years of recording and setting him up.

No one's saying he's an angel, just that they don't believe he's physically abused her because there's simply no proof.

And not all addicts are physically abusive, so many people on this thread saying that an addict abused them, therefore they believe Amber. Not all addicts are physically abusive. And not all abusers are addicts.

Amber is also/was an addict - according to testimony from her own private nurse.

listening to the recording with the doctor and nurse talking, the night his finger was cut, was interesting. I used to be a mental health support worker. They were talking about her the way that we talked about some clients who had been diagnosed with personality disorders and were unpredictable

There is no surprise from them about the way she is behaving. They are talking about how to manage her, what meds of hers she needs, when she last took them… planning for someone who is firm and can’t be manipulated to travel with her. It sounds like they were used to this and that she was really acknowledged to be unwell. I didn’t realise this until I heard the recording. She is also shrieking in the background and saying she is sorry and wants to see him snd loves him.

This was shortly after the incident where she says he attacked an assaulted her with the bottle. He sounds scary too though. All a complete mess. Two people in active addiction, one already diagnosed with bipolar and already missing meds while drinking.. who on earth can be sure that either of them really recall what happened? I think she believes she is telling the truth though,

'.yes he smashes things up but that's not what she's accusing him of'

He's the one making the accusations, he brought the court case.