Later-life babies?

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Anyone on here (themselves or their partner) had children in their late 40s/early 50s?

Just gathering some opinions as we are considering more DC. DH is 50.

How old are you ? I’ve known friends have babies up to age 44 so it’s very possible

Oops! Sorry, I'm 38.

Friend had a baby at 47 a few years ago.
My aunt had my cousin at 46 (she is now 30)
I know many others who had babies at mid 40s, even naturally. So it's possible.

My friends mum had her at 48. I have known the friend since she was about 30 and her mum was always an 'old lady' to me. She died a couple of years ago when my friend was in her mid 40s, and to be fair the mum had quite a long life - she was in her 90s!

So I guess there was always the understanding that my friend could lose her mum while she (the friend) was still quite young. Although with illness or whatever, that could be the case with anyone really.

Personally I had my youngest child at 39. I can't imagine doing it at 49. I will already be 50 when my daughter goes to high school and I'm not sure I would be up for teenage dramas well into my 60s.

It's a tough choice but you are younger than your husband, so that might be a deciding factor.

My Dad was 46 when they had my younger brother, my mum 40. They've always been really energetic and still look at least 10 years younger than they are. I don't think we missed out on anything - if anything we had parents who were financially very stable, in a good place in life generally, and had a lot of good experience to pass on to us. The one downside is that they're getting on a bit now, and can't be quite as active with their very young grandchildren as they'd like to be. I had my own children relatively late though, so that exacerbated the age aspect.

DH is 49 I'm 40 we have a 4 year old and a one year old it's lovely but I am exhausted.

I was 41 and DH was 48.
TBH, as a child of older parents myself I wished my parents had been younger when they had me. DD was an unexpected surprise having been told that the likelihood of having children was extremely slim to impossible.

Do you have children already?

My cousin in his 2nd marriage became a father for the 3rd time age 52 (older kids were mid teens) Now he's in his late 60s being run ragged by a stroppy teenager

I found it really challenging in my 40s dealing with my parents when they were in their 70s and their health was deteriorating.

I wouldnt want my children to have that experience in their twenties, life is just starting out for them and it should not include the burden of aging parents.

@SeemsSoUnfair But most people are in their 40s when parents in in their 70s. Surely you’re not saying it’s “old” for them to have had kids at 30?

@SeemsSoUnfair Sorry I misread that. I see what you’re saying.

Yes, you tend to get the parents' perspective on MN (not surprisingly) and not the child's. My DPs had 2 DC in their 20s, and 2 in their late 30s/40s. My two younger sibs had lost both parents by the time they (sibs) were 40. Due to my DPs' health issues, neither of them was able to provide my sibs with emotional or practical support as young adults. Of course, you can be unlucky as a parent and become unwell at any age, but the risk of ill-health is much higher in your 70s than your 50s. When I compare my younger sibs' experience with that of my Dsis and me - the older two - I feel the younger ones really missed out.

I was in my 20s when my dad died and 32 when my mum died. They never became grandparents in their lifetime. Poor DD only had one grandparent.

38/47. The thing that was difficult was the lack of any family help and becoming carers for DMIL for years due to dementia. Dealing with a toddler and someone with dementia at the same time was tricky but the behaviours were quite similar! Then my DF became very ill in the year before his death and it was hard to leave a young teen so much while travelling up and down the country at weekends

Yes we have a 5yo and a 3yo together. Plus late teen SDC from DH first marriage.

You've already had children so you know what it is like. You are better placed to judge than anyone here!

The only thing I would add is that people really start to die from 40+. I have quite a number of friends and work colleagues who have died in their 40s / early 50s. And nearly all of these were healthy people with no underlying health conditions. So be aware of that as an additional risk.
And of course the greater risk of children having some condition or earlier. I've read that the rise in autism may be linked to more fathers having children later in life.

I was 53 when my last son was born (my wife is much younger). TBH it's almost old enough to be a grandfather, and I worry a bit that I might not live to see him into adulthood. And I might never be a grandparent.

One issue it brings is that I need to keep working to fund school fees, so I can't really see me retiring.

DH and I were 47 and 41 respectively when our 5th DC was born. She's 12 now and next sib is 15. DH and I are fit and well and they have lots of support and love. I'm fitter now at 53 than I was 15 years ago. We go out and do things and have fun. They have less grandparent support than our older DC, but they have 3 older siblings who they can talk to, stay with, shop with, have fun with. Oh, and we're MUCH better off now than when we had our first DCs.

I have already told my DC that they will NOT look after me when I'm old and doddery!

It's not necessarily true to say that younger parents are better; good parenting has nothing to do with age, and not all teenagers are exhausting nightmares! My mum had DB at 20 and me at 21 (dad 5 years older). I always felt slightly detached from her and neglected. Not through lack of food, cleanliness etc, but by lack of love (expressing love, at least) little support, disapproval of mundane things, poking fun at my fashion/music choices to others (I wasn't cool enough). We see each other now, but aren't particularly close, mostly polite conversation.

OP.... May I respectfully ask what is driving the need for another child?

You sound like you have a lovely family with your 3 existing kids which is a blessing in itself.

DH is 47 now and I'm 40. DD is 2. She is the light of my life and his, but we are exhausted! Also have DSS 13 who lives with us, and life with a toddler and a teen in your 40s is not for the faint hearted.
Obviously I would do it all again if I had the choice, because if I had Children earlier then I may not have had DD and I wouldn't be the mother I now am, or give her the life we do, but i certainly wouldn't have any more (no matter how temped I am by cute little babies 🥰)

Im 38 and pregnant with my second. I do not see myself as an older mother. I have a home and a career and a husband who halved everything with me.

All this "you'll be dead when they're 40"..... so? I chose to have kids when I could afford to and when my life was in the right place to support a child well.

Haha. Yes we are similar. Teen SDC finished schooling while the younger ones are just starting. By the end of it DH would have been paying schools fees continuously for 30 years 😂 (from age 2 to 18).

I was 39 and my husband was 51. It was my first baby but my husband's second (older one was 12).

DP was 53 when DC1 was born and 55 when we had DC2. He has not been a very bands on dad.

By the end of it DH would have been paying schools fees continuously for 30 years

Then there will be financial support through university. Have you considered that?