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Original poster

Teenage parents

135 replies

woolypollie · 01/05/2022 01:03

I saw a post on here slating teenage parents...
NEARLY EVERYONE ON HERE WAS SLATING TEENAGE PARENTS!!
I'm saddened by this!
I was a teenage mum... I was naive and I was blackmailed into having sex that young. it was my first and I became pregnant. I had my first child when I was 14! It was a disgrace to my family. And I knew it would've been a disgrace to the world. And even though I had "options" I decided that I would keep the baby. That baby is now in his 20s... he has a career. He is healthy etc. I had another child later on in life (20's) and that child had ASD and adhd... he is so special and so loving.
What I'm trying to get here is that why slate such young mums??? It doesn't make them have bad children??? I have never been on the doll. I have always worked. I am a teacher now. And if it was t for my children then this may have not been the case! What I do is for them. Not for me. Stop slating young parents because most young parents are the most loving and most energetic people you could come across... if I was to have a baby now - I don't think I would have the most energy as I did 20 years ago. I'm not saying I would ever want my children to have children young!! Far from it.. but if they did then I would be by their side every once of the way because the world still seems so cruel to a certain age!

OP posts:
CJsGoldfish · 01/05/2022 02:32

I was just trying to show that teenage parents can incase there were younger parents feeling
Like they
Couldn't
Yeah, I'm not sure your posts are doing what you want them to.

slashlover · 01/05/2022 02:33

I had none of that actually... I left home when I had my eldest so did it all on own

You moved out and lived alone with a baby at 14? How did you pay for childcare?

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:49

slashlover · 01/05/2022 02:33

I had none of that actually... I left home when I had my eldest so did it all on own

You moved out and lived alone with a baby at 14? How did you pay for childcare?

Didn't need childcare... at that age you look after your children and don't need childcare!

Interested in this thread?

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Families
Georgeskitchen · 01/05/2022 11:13

A lot of very young teenage mothers make good mothers but that doesn't mean it's recommended to have a baby at 14

DropYourSword · 01/05/2022 11:39

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:49

Didn't need childcare... at that age you look after your children and don't need childcare!

Show quote history

So you moved out at 14. Worked a job to pay your way and had no help from anyone but at the same time never needed childcare because you were looking after your own child the entire time.

How in the hell was this thread reinstated!!

LizBennet · 01/05/2022 11:49

I'd be devastated if my teenage daughter had a baby. My parents were married at 16 & 19, way too young imho.

LindaEllen · 01/05/2022 12:08

woolypollie · 01/05/2022 01:13

Adults can also be naive and blackmailed.... just saying! Teenage parents can be good mums! I don't know if you've read the bible but Mary was 13 when she had Jesus.... was she a bad mum??

Show quote history

I'm not sure you can really use that as an example.. seeing as it's from the bible, which is bollocks.

NalPolishRemover · 01/05/2022 12:08

Yeah I very much doubt the op is a teacher. At least I very much hope not going by how inarticulate they are & the incredibly poor grasp of spelling & grammar!

As for the subject at hand- my mother had me young & in my personal experience it was not a good thing. She was married (before 18) & had me at 19. She had a husband & parents who helped her A LOT but she had so little life experience or education (dropped out at 15).& was ill equipped to be a mother at that stage .it is 100% not the life I would want for me (I was in my 30s having dc & had post grad qualifications & a career) or n t my 16 yr daughter. I would absolutely be heartbroken if she became pregnant now

x2boys · 01/05/2022 12:30

It's not ideal to have a child so young , I don't doubt there are many teenage parents who do an excellent job,but they must miss out on so much ,those years where you don't have any responsibility,s.

Sushi7 · 01/05/2022 12:32

The issue is with teen mums, especially those 18 and under, is that they rely heavily on adults to support them AND their child. They won’t be financially secure, live independently etc (I guess some could but it would be really really hard). Their parents end up having to raise their grandchild because their child is still a child.

BlimBosh · 01/05/2022 12:39

If anyone can't see why children shouldn't be having children, then they are beyond help.

I was a teen mum (16) and it was incredibly hard. Yes I was able to get a degree and post graduate qualifications later in life and was determined to prove that despite being a teen mum, I didn't totally fuck up my life but I should have been free to learn and grow and not been struggling to survive.

I actually work with teens myself now and also use myself as example of what not to do. I'm not saying teens make terrible parents, I myself was a good enough parent but there is so more growing to do before having children.

JorisBonson · 01/05/2022 12:40

This thread is a rollercoaster.

AskingforaBaskin · 01/05/2022 12:49

I hope you are not informing teenagers that if they get pregnant everything will be OK. You have absolutely no knowledge of their home lives and their families capabilities. The last thing you want it to allow them to think that being lax in contraceptive is anything other than absolutely unacceptable

Many parents can not support another baby. And so will have to state the choices are abortion or go it alone. And there is no saying they have the mental capacity to do so.

Teen pregnancy is not a good thing. It's not something we can eradicate but it is something we as a society should try and prevent and in that scenario I would really hope my daughters would choose abortion.

LivinLaVidaLoki · 01/05/2022 12:58

This thread has blown my mind.
But honestly can't get past the OP raging that you can't label all young mums as bad mums (fair enough) but then labelling them as amazing with lots of energy....thought the idea was to avoid generalisations?
Also OP complaining we are bullies but being vile to anyone questioning their viewpoint.
And finally, how at 14 did you move out work in a family business (not your family) but never need any childcare?

Dinneronmybfpillow · 01/05/2022 13:10

I was reading this in the middle of the night and couldn't get my head round it. Mental.

"LoL"

pinkyredrose · 01/05/2022 13:11

OP are you sure you're a teacher? Your SPAG suggests otherwise.

Therealpink · 01/05/2022 13:12

woolypollie · 01/05/2022 01:13

Adults can also be naive and blackmailed.... just saying! Teenage parents can be good mums! I don't know if you've read the bible but Mary was 13 when she had Jesus.... was she a bad mum??

Show quote history

Really? You’re using Mary and baby Jesus for your argument😆

AskingforaBaskin · 01/05/2022 13:12

Dinneronmybfpillow · 01/05/2022 13:10

I was reading this in the middle of the night and couldn't get my head round it. Mental.

"LoL"

No joke I had an awful night with my daughter and read this lats night. I thought I'd dreamt it.

excelledyourself · 01/05/2022 13:18

I don't know if you've read the bible but Mary was 13 when she had Jesus

Haven't RTFT, but have read much of the Bible as a child, and this is news to me!

Hallyup89 · 01/05/2022 13:18

The issue with teenage parents, especially under 16s, is that no matter how much someone tells them or they think they're a wonderful parent, the reality is they don't have the access to the resources to be able to be a good parent. They can't claim benefits or work, they can't get married, they can't live in their own property, they can't provide anything for their baby alone and are utterly reliant on other people.

You may have loved your baby, but there is no way you were anything near a good parent.

Thejoyfulstar · 01/05/2022 13:23

It doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that Mary was 13 when she had Jesus, by the way.

Mellowyellow222 · 01/05/2022 13:25

This is such an odd post.

I have seen many threads about young parents.

even you admit it’s not ideal. No one wants a 14 year old to become a mother - to miss out on so much of her childhood, to have to fight harder to finish her education.

there are good and bad parents of every age.

but as a teacher you should be aware of the stats here. The children of teenage parents have on average poorer outcomes. We as a socially should be doing more to both prevent teenage pregnancy and to help girls who become pregnant to finish their education.

Dinneronmybfpillow · 01/05/2022 13:28

I think we can all be reasonably satisfied that the OP is not a qualified teacher

Mellowyellow222 · 01/05/2022 13:29

OP what do you teach? Your communication style is odd, and some of the pints you are making are bizarre. Are you a qualified teacher educating children?

should you be?

Notbeinfunnehbut · 01/05/2022 13:31

Yep
I had my first child at 19
there is a lot of very overt stigma and sneering toward young mums there are obvious cons ofc.
But there are obvious cons to women over a certain age having babies but they don’t experience the same stigma plus being older and very set in your ways before having children causes issues within itself.