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Original poster

Teenage parents

135 replies

woolypollie · 01/05/2022 01:03

I saw a post on here slating teenage parents...
NEARLY EVERYONE ON HERE WAS SLATING TEENAGE PARENTS!!
I'm saddened by this!
I was a teenage mum... I was naive and I was blackmailed into having sex that young. it was my first and I became pregnant. I had my first child when I was 14! It was a disgrace to my family. And I knew it would've been a disgrace to the world. And even though I had "options" I decided that I would keep the baby. That baby is now in his 20s... he has a career. He is healthy etc. I had another child later on in life (20's) and that child had ASD and adhd... he is so special and so loving.
What I'm trying to get here is that why slate such young mums??? It doesn't make them have bad children??? I have never been on the doll. I have always worked. I am a teacher now. And if it was t for my children then this may have not been the case! What I do is for them. Not for me. Stop slating young parents because most young parents are the most loving and most energetic people you could come across... if I was to have a baby now - I don't think I would have the most energy as I did 20 years ago. I'm not saying I would ever want my children to have children young!! Far from it.. but if they did then I would be by their side every once of the way because the world still seems so cruel to a certain age!

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 01/05/2022 01:59

I had none of that actually... I left home when I had my eldest so did it all on own

You literally said you were given a job in the family business!

Original poster
woolypollie · 01/05/2022 02:02

actually anyone who wants to message on this... don't bother... I thought this would be better than Facebook etc. it isn't. The world is just full of arseholes and I thought mumsnet would be nicer to chat on seeing as most on here would be MUMS. My mistake.. I'm obviously too bloody nice

OP posts:
Original poster
woolypollie · 01/05/2022 02:03

DropYourSword · 01/05/2022 01:59

I had none of that actually... I left home when I had my eldest so did it all on own

You literally said you were given a job in the family business!

Not my
Owns family business

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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Families
CJsGoldfish · 01/05/2022 02:05

You can't brush all teenage mums with the same brush
But you can because most are loving and have lots of energy 🙄

@CJsGoldfish well I thank you for saying glad it worked out for me... but you know theirs millions of other mums like me that need that don't you? But you're still saying what we it is you're saying. Do you have children?
I'm sorry but this makes little sense. I'm happy to respond to you but I genuinely don't know what it is you are saying/asking. Aside from asking if I have children. That would be a yes.
Regardless, nothing in your rants has changed the fact that children shouldn't be having children 🤷‍♀️

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DropYourSword · 01/05/2022 02:06

woolypollie · 01/05/2022 02:02

actually anyone who wants to message on this... don't bother... I thought this would be better than Facebook etc. it isn't. The world is just full of arseholes and I thought mumsnet would be nicer to chat on seeing as most on here would be MUMS. My mistake.. I'm obviously too bloody nice

Obviously Hmm

Kanaloa · 01/05/2022 02:07

I had almost the exact same experience as you. Had my first in my mid-teens, I was naive etc. I would never ever recommend anyone else doing it and would be heart broken if my daughters got pregnant as young teens. It’s a hard old slog. I wouldn’t ever change it because I love my kids and wouldn’t be without them but I gave myself a harder time than I needed to have. I couldn’t give my children what I wanted them to have when they were babies. It was very hard.

Now everything’s great though and I’m so lucky, but I wouldn’t want my kids to ever have that. When my dd is 15 I hope she’s still in her ballet class and giggling about Harry Styles! So I suppose I’m saying if you feel you’re a great mum who cares if someone else is slating young mums? I don’t care if someone says young mums are rubbish because I know I’m not! But if they’re just saying something sensible like ‘it’s not a good idea to get pregnant as a child, it will make life hard for you’ then my lived experience would tell me they’re right.

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:08

CJsGoldfish · 01/05/2022 02:05

You can't brush all teenage mums with the same brush
But you can because most are loving and have lots of energy 🙄

@CJsGoldfish well I thank you for saying glad it worked out for me... but you know theirs millions of other mums like me that need that don't you? But you're still saying what we it is you're saying. Do you have children?
I'm sorry but this makes little sense. I'm happy to respond to you but I genuinely don't know what it is you are saying/asking. Aside from asking if I have children. That would be a yes.
Regardless, nothing in your rants has changed the fact that children shouldn't be having children 🤷‍♀️

@CJsGoldfish ok so what should I do then as I was a child having a child? What should I do in your eyes then?

Kanaloa · 01/05/2022 02:10

I think it’s a bit daft to say older mums are selfish and young mums are great though. Selfish people make selfish mums, whether they’re 16 or 66! It’s nothing to do with age.

Josette77 · 01/05/2022 02:10

Because she was still a child. She was selfish and had no life skills. No job. She ultimately didn't raise any of us.

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:10

Kanaloa · 01/05/2022 02:07

I had almost the exact same experience as you. Had my first in my mid-teens, I was naive etc. I would never ever recommend anyone else doing it and would be heart broken if my daughters got pregnant as young teens. It’s a hard old slog. I wouldn’t ever change it because I love my kids and wouldn’t be without them but I gave myself a harder time than I needed to have. I couldn’t give my children what I wanted them to have when they were babies. It was very hard.

Now everything’s great though and I’m so lucky, but I wouldn’t want my kids to ever have that. When my dd is 15 I hope she’s still in her ballet class and giggling about Harry Styles! So I suppose I’m saying if you feel you’re a great mum who cares if someone else is slating young mums? I don’t care if someone says young mums are rubbish because I know I’m not! But if they’re just saying something sensible like ‘it’s not a good idea to get pregnant as a child, it will make life hard for you’ then my lived experience would tell me they’re right.

@Kanaloa THANK YOU!!! You are amazing and I agree with all you said.

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:13

So I've realise that the mumsnetters on here are obviously over 50 and don't realise what their mothers had to sacrifice for thier life's. As you are all bloody privileged. I am removing myself from this app as it's degradable. I can't believe how you all treat each other
On this site: you must be so proud being so much older and so much wiser!

DropYourSword · 01/05/2022 02:14

Least we understand what a name change fail is!

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:14

Josette77 · 01/05/2022 02:10

Because she was still a child. She was selfish and had no life skills. No job. She ultimately didn't raise any of us.

Wasn't the same for me... or some of teenage mums,,, I'm sorry but that was just your mum.. don't brush us all with the same pain

LadyMinerva · 01/05/2022 02:15

Kanaloa · 01/05/2022 02:07

I had almost the exact same experience as you. Had my first in my mid-teens, I was naive etc. I would never ever recommend anyone else doing it and would be heart broken if my daughters got pregnant as young teens. It’s a hard old slog. I wouldn’t ever change it because I love my kids and wouldn’t be without them but I gave myself a harder time than I needed to have. I couldn’t give my children what I wanted them to have when they were babies. It was very hard.

Now everything’s great though and I’m so lucky, but I wouldn’t want my kids to ever have that. When my dd is 15 I hope she’s still in her ballet class and giggling about Harry Styles! So I suppose I’m saying if you feel you’re a great mum who cares if someone else is slating young mums? I don’t care if someone says young mums are rubbish because I know I’m not! But if they’re just saying something sensible like ‘it’s not a good idea to get pregnant as a child, it will make life hard for you’ then my lived experience would tell me they’re right.

From one (formally) teenage mother to another, very well put.

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:15

DropYourSword · 01/05/2022 02:14

Least we understand what a name change fail is!

Yep but I'm off as you're clearly in your 60s and living off the fact your husband never cheated

worriedatthistime · 01/05/2022 02:16

I don't think age is what makes a good mum, it can be harder when younger but people are ready at different times. I know some great teenage mums and also some not so good , but that applies to any age mum/ parent
I wouldn't wish my teenagers to have kids tbf bit purely so that they have it a little easier but if it happened I wouldn't assume they would be bad parents just be there to help, but i had mine at 29 & 30 and still needed my mums help

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:16

@LadyMinerva thank you

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:18

DropYourSword · 01/05/2022 02:14

Least we understand what a name change fail is!

But I remember your name from
Many posts... maybe you should change yours... I'll teach you lol @DropYourSword

CJsGoldfish · 01/05/2022 02:18

ok so what should I do then as I was a child having a child? What should I do in your eyes then?
What is the point of this question? You chose what you chose. You say you raised your child. You were 14 so no, you didn't. But that's beside the point because you were very loving and had a lot of energy 🤷‍♀️

What should you do? What should any of us do. Raise our children to aim higher than using a baby to fill some void. Raise our children to know that babies born to children are already behind the eight ball and to CHOOSE that for someone who has no choice in the matter is not a mature and grown up decision. How's that?

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:23

CJsGoldfish · 01/05/2022 02:18

ok so what should I do then as I was a child having a child? What should I do in your eyes then?
What is the point of this question? You chose what you chose. You say you raised your child. You were 14 so no, you didn't. But that's beside the point because you were very loving and had a lot of energy 🤷‍♀️

What should you do? What should any of us do. Raise our children to aim higher than using a baby to fill some void. Raise our children to know that babies born to children are already behind the eight ball and to CHOOSE that for someone who has no choice in the matter is not a mature and grown up decision. How's that?

Exactly I was just ranting from
A post where apparently teenage parents couldn't do it as good as 30:40+ parents could... I was just trying to show that teenage parents can incase there were younger parents feeling
Like they
Couldn't

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:24

My bad I won't try to help others as I get sacrificed for doing so

LadyMinerva · 01/05/2022 02:24

mymsnet · 01/05/2022 02:16

@LadyMinerva thank you

Kanaloa's sentiment isn't different from anyone else's on this thread though, just worded from the experienced perspective of a teenage parent.

No one here has said that ALL teenage parents are bad parents. Everyone knows that some are great and some are not, just like with older parents.

It seems like perhaps you've received a hard time on another thread as you appear quite (understandably) sensitive (I've been there) and your emotions go from 0 to 100 in a split second. Just remember that the opinion of one poster is not the opinion of all posters. Take a breath and let's talk about the subject, that's how we educate.

WindyKnickers · 01/05/2022 02:26

So, OP, it's not OK for people to give their opinions on some of the downsides to having children while still very young but it's OK for you to make negative references to the age of other posters as if that means they've lost all perspective is it?

I think OP might have been drinking, and I hope they aren't really a teacher as they say they are....

CJsGoldfish · 01/05/2022 02:30

I think OP might have been drinking, and I hope they aren't really a teacher as they say they are....
The OP is definitely not a teacher. Not a chance.

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