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Original poster

How would dads react if they had a gay child?

124 replies

shellstarbarley · 30/04/2022 10:19

I had an interesting conversation with some work colleagues last night - one of the younger member of the team has a 3 yr old son who wanted a doll for christmas and his nan has now bought him a pink pushchair for him. This colleagues husband isn't happy because he doesn't think his son should be encouraged to push a baby round. This then led on to talking about how our husbands would feel if any of our children came out gay and nearly all of them said they think there husbands would find it hard. When I asked my partner this morning he just said ummmmm not sure......

OP posts:
biggreenhouse · 30/04/2022 10:21

none homophobic dads would be fine, and the ones that would be bothered really shouldn't be having children.

Mangogogogo · 30/04/2022 10:23

My sons dad is bisexual so i don’t think he would mind one single iota. However I know loads of men who would, and a few women. But definitely more men. My gay friends have had trouble with their dads apart from one. I don’t know any who’ve had trouble telling their mums!

TheSmallAssassin · 30/04/2022 10:26

Mine wouldn't bat an eyelid. He was a bit funny when our new born daughter's present to her brother was a toy buggy, but I pointed out that whenever we all went out together, he was the one that pushed the buggy. He's learnt over the years!

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Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 10:27

Isn’t pushing a baby round more like fatherly practice rather than ‘gay’ 😂😂 My husband wouldn’t care but then he’s not a homophobic teat.

LizBennet · 30/04/2022 10:30

If the gay people I know, their dads haven't disowned them. I'd find it really weird that someone could raise a child and love them to then turn against them.

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 10:30

Twat not teat

OxanaVorontsova · 30/04/2022 10:31

My husband loved pushing our daughters in their buggy, he’s not gay, what a ridiculous attitude.

ChocolateHippo · 30/04/2022 10:31

If my husband had an issue with our child being gay, he wouldn't remain my husband for very long.

OutDamnedSpot · 30/04/2022 10:32

Neither exH or DP would bat an eyelid, because I don’t hang out with homophobic twats.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/04/2022 10:32

I'll never understand why people (usually men) think that pushing a baby around in a stroller = gay. Most dad's do this every weekend at some point in their parenting life, and the majority of these are not gay.

Irrespective of what sexual orientation your child has/will have, they just want to role play at parenting.

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 10:33

My son wants a particular Barbie and will have to play with it in secret, not for those reasons but my DH would go mad because it’s £30 😂

Discovereads · 30/04/2022 10:33

Well we do have one gay and one bi DC and my very straight DH hasn’t batted an eyelid.

Having certain toys is irrelevant for sexuality- that’s all on gender stereotypes. A young boy with a baby doll and toy pushchair or a young girl with a full set of Star Wars toys isn’t necessarily going to later come out as gay. There isn’t any correlation imho. We do gender neutral parenting with philosophy there are no boy or girl toys, clothes, interests. There are only toys, clothes and interests so our DC aren’t as affected by gender stereotypes as other children are.

RampantIvy · 30/04/2022 10:33

Any parent who doesn't love their child unconditionally shouldnt be a parent IMO.

Lou98 · 30/04/2022 10:34

I find it quite sad that nearly all of your colleagues think their Partner's would have an issue with their Son being Gay.

I genuinely don't think my Partner would care if our Son was gay. He's only 1 now but it would make no difference to either of us if in the future he was to come out as Gay

dementedpixie · 30/04/2022 10:34

Lots of fathers push their baby about in a pram/buggy. He is learning to be a parent not 'catching the gay'

KnitPurlKnitPurl · 30/04/2022 10:35

DH and I have a 19 year old who thinks he's "probably gay". DH is fine with it, as am I. We just want him to be happy.

And for what it's worth, this is a boy who was obsessed with things like tractors and dinosaurs as a wee one, not pink and dolls. Stereotyping is so damaging.

Change123today · 30/04/2022 10:35

My husband is a grown up and wouldn’t judge just support. We all been watching heartstopper on Netflix as a family binge watch & he was a eager to watch it as the rest of us!

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 30/04/2022 10:36

We've had this conversation (it came up when my best friend had her baby with her wife) and dp wouldn't give a shiny shit, neither would I.

Ds favourite toy was a baby for a long time, I don't get the issue with that one at all considering many man have actual real babies to take care of as adults!

Dps dad on the other hand had a real problem with that, and it's one of the many reasons I have very little to do with him.

SpiderVersed · 30/04/2022 10:36

Other than the usual concerns about male violence (DS was assaulted in a gay bar) neither of us were remotely bothered about our son’s sexuality. Why would we be?

Kim82 · 30/04/2022 10:37

My 20yo ds is gay. Dh (his stepdad) couldn’t care less. His bio dad struggles with it but he’s always been a homophobic prick and is a terrible father to all 3 of his dc so it doesn’t surprise me.

PeekAtYou · 30/04/2022 10:39

Are you the poster from the LGBT children board who thinks it's normal for men to find it hard to accept their son is gay?

You can't make someone gay. Think about it. If that were possible then your h can demonstrate this by becoming gay himself.

I've never seen a man push a buggy and think he must be gay. It's a normal part of looking after a young child and practical. No secret messages are being sent with colours either. A man pushing a pink buggy is as much a man as a man a big black 3 wheeler.

BattenburgDonkey · 30/04/2022 10:40

It isn’t a question of how ‘dads’ would react, its homophobic people, some are male and some are female. My DH wouldn’t be bothered, and pushing a pram around isn’t a gay characteristic, it’s a characteristic of being a dad! If you have kids or are planning them I’d want to discuss his potentially homophobic reaction sooner rather than later OP!

Enko · 30/04/2022 10:44

My first reaction to this title was. Why would they react any different to how mums would react ?

Asked dh. (Of 28 years) who shrugged his shoulders and said "wouldn't bother me injust want my children to be happy "

2 of our dds have come out as bi sexual i dont recall.it being a big deal for dh or I.

Thinking of our friend's again I can't imagine any of them having a issue.

RubaDubMum89 · 30/04/2022 10:45

We've had this conversation before, we have a DD, neither of us could give a shit if she were to come out as a lesbian in years to come. Just because a person tells you they're attracted to the same sex as them, doesn't automatically erase the years and years you've had watching them grow and learn and all the happy memories. It's sad that some people's love for their child is conditional upon their child adhering to their idea of the norm.

lookingsusbro · 30/04/2022 10:46

My dsc is gay and although it was a bit of a shock given their previous relationships Dh is fine with it. If he wasn't he wouldn't be my Dh for long.