Page 5 | How would dads react if they had a gay child?

A580Hojas · 30/04/2022 19:38

I have a gay Aunt (rip), gay brother, gay sister and many gay friends. Dh also has many gay friends. We worked in the acting profession!

We thought our ds was gay for all of his life until he suddenly produced a girlfriend at age 17 and is still very smooched up with her 18 months later.

Honestly, it was as much a surprise to us as if we'd always assumed he was heterosexual and then he'd come out.

I can honestly say, hand on heart, that either way would have been/would still be absolutely fine with both me and DH.

trans is different imo

Sleepeatrepeat · 30/04/2022 19:45

My dss is almost certainly gay. He hasn't come out yet but no one who has met him for 5 minutes would be surprised.

His dad (my now ex) was always quite dismissive but as dss has got older he has had to agree it is likely. He doesn't care. His only priority is dss is happy.

A friend of mine who is heavily into the church has 2 sons, both gay. The religious part of him ironically accepts them unquestionably. The father in him has a massive issue with both sons being gay. It is a debate we have had many times about how unreasonable his attitude as a father is but he remains unmoved.

SirSamVimesCityWatch · 30/04/2022 19:45

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 19:31

@brookstar This poster is trawling the threads trying to get a rise from people for some reason only known to them, I’d just disregard if I were you.

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Is "trawling the threads" about me?? If it is I don't know where you've got that idea from.

Anyway, just to clarify - I personally have no preference, tbh I haven't really given any thought to if my kids will be gay or straight. However, as my original post on this thread stated, the only people I have ever (in real life, not on internet) known to state a preference that their child be straight, were a gay couple. To me, a straight person calling the views of a lesbian couple 'homophobic' and 'part of the problem' seems a bit silly, and rather minimising of the issues they have both faced in their lives as a direct result of their sexual orientation.

doveseternal · 30/04/2022 19:45

@brookstar perhaps you do run in those odd circles indeed. I'm sure you'll be quite alright, don't fret. Perhaps join an lgbt ally group?

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 19:47

doveseternal · 30/04/2022 19:33

@Goldijobsandthe3bears

Oh bless you for trying.

It’s no trouble sugar plum now off you toddle to bed whilst the grown ups talk 💋

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 19:47

SirSamVimesCityWatch · 30/04/2022 19:45

Is "trawling the threads" about me?? If it is I don't know where you've got that idea from.

Anyway, just to clarify - I personally have no preference, tbh I haven't really given any thought to if my kids will be gay or straight. However, as my original post on this thread stated, the only people I have ever (in real life, not on internet) known to state a preference that their child be straight, were a gay couple. To me, a straight person calling the views of a lesbian couple 'homophobic' and 'part of the problem' seems a bit silly, and rather minimising of the issues they have both faced in their lives as a direct result of their sexual orientation.

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No it was about @doveseternal

brookstar · 30/04/2022 19:52

doveseternal · 30/04/2022 19:45

@brookstar perhaps you do run in those odd circles indeed. I'm sure you'll be quite alright, don't fret. Perhaps join an lgbt ally group?

Odd circles??
If you mean do I socialise with gay people then yes I do, that's because I'm not homophobic 🤷🏼‍♀️

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 19:52

Being homosexual needs to become as normalised as being heterosexual then people won’t have to worry about the troubled existence their child may or may not have. It doesn’t always follow though, my straight sister has had a much more turbulent life than either of my gay brothers.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 30/04/2022 19:53

My DH is a rugby lad and always has been. All his friends are.
If any of their kids ended up being gay they wouldn't care. They'd be more upset about having a non-rugby playing child so being gay is neither here nor there.

StillMedusa · 30/04/2022 23:43

I have two gay children (of four) One Lesbian and one gay male.
When DD1 came out neither of us battled an eyelid (even though we had no idea) We had always both said that we didn't care who our children loved as long as it was a kind, mutually respectful relationship..and we meant it.
DD1 has been married to her wife a few years now. DS2 is gay but autistic and unlikely to have a relationship, but who knows...
We now have a Grandchild and if he wants fairy dresses and Barbies... he will have them!

PickAChew · 30/04/2022 23:46

My husband wouldn't care but he doesn't hail from the 1950s, despite the grey hair, and he's not a twat.

lljkk · 01/05/2022 05:02

By the time they are ready to come out, one's DC have done so many annoying teenage things that you're relieved the 'worst' they can announce this time is being gay.

In my extended (overseas) family, there's a corner with high density gay people. Even my grandparents 'got over it' about 30 years ago. There's another section of relatives who are sometimes religious fundy -- some of these would struggle hugely with gay offspring.

In the sleep rural (conservative working class English) place where Iive - actually I expect few dads would mind. Family loyalty trumps all.

Robin233 · 01/05/2022 12:20

@Goldijobsandthe3bears

Being homosexual needs to become as normalised as being heterosexual then people won’t have to worry about the troubled existence their child may or may not have. It doesn’t always follow though, my straight sister has had a much more turbulent life than either of my gay brothers.
^^^^^^
Brilliant post.
Where I live and work it now is normal- thank G**
Loved once to 2 ladies - couple.
And work with many gay people over the years.
Things are different but sadly not everywhere, but it will in time.
Watching how Barrow was treated in Downton Abbey must be quite confusing for the younger people. They live in a time of equality and diversity.

Robin233 · 01/05/2022 12:20

** lived not loved lol

Robin233 · 01/05/2022 12:21

Lived next door to...... d'oh

Afonavon · 01/05/2022 12:27

It makes zero difference to us who our kids will find attractive. It’s a bit weird to be invested in someone else’s love/sex life isn’t it!

MajorCarolDanvers · 01/05/2022 12:28

I am unsure how son should be encouraged to push a baby round would turn someone gay. 🤔

It might bring the child up to recognise that parenting is done by both parents and not just the one with the vagina.

Dad sounds like an utter moron and a homophobe

LizBennet · 01/05/2022 12:33

The pram pushing is so weird 😂
Dp used to take dd out in her lurid pink pushchair 😂

Notaneffingcockerspaniel · 01/05/2022 12:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

GCAcademic · 01/05/2022 12:37

Aside from their homophobia, these men sound like terrible fathers since they clearly think that basic parenting is only done by women or gay men.

Bickles · 01/05/2022 12:40

We will always love and support DS no matter what but we would both, particularly DH, need time to process.
I would struggle more with him wanting to identify as a different gender or no gender because I have gender critical views. Still identifying as a man but one who fancies men would be easier for me. I think.

JulesRimetStillGleaming · 01/05/2022 13:26

Well done. You have uncovered that homophobia is still alive and well in 2022 and this is why we despair at losing Stonewall to the gender Borg. The fight for acceptance of being LGB is not over.

JulesRimetStillGleaming · 01/05/2022 13:27

Oh and gay men can play rugby and lots of straight men hate it. HTH.

voldr · 04/05/2022 17:58

Thankfully not all fathers are stuck in the stone ages.

How would dads react if they had a gay child?

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