Most amusing comment on MN

[NFLwidow]

I’m relatively new to Mumsnet (18 months ish). After reading some absolute pearlers today re eating out and managing to make left over toddler meals last 2 days, I’m intrigued to know what are the stand out posts you remember.

Ive read classics but I’m after one liners that made you properly laugh.

Err nerr the Quern is perrrly, somebody call nern nern nern

[quote MacaroniSqueeze]@legalseagull, a poster went swimming with her family and in her post birth exhausted state removed her tankini bottoms at the side of the pool
'your minge' was her DH helpful response [/quote]
I thought she was heavily pregnant and struggling to get the kids into their cossies, but due to her huge bump she didn’t realise she’d not yet put on her own bikini bottoms… until she got poolside, whereupon her husband shouted the immortal words to her

Possibly @NancyDrooo, it was a while ago now 👍

I thought it was the first version. She took off her towel and folded it, then took off her tankini bottoms and neatly folded them too

The one where someone was having an internal examination whilst pregnant and farted so hard she parted the midwives fringe.
Why is it always fart ones that get me? I don't even like the word!

'Your minge!' post (not mine, lifted from another thread):

this has been on here before but it is my most shamefilled moment and i burn red thinking about it...
32 weeks pregnant with dc3 we went swimming, i had put my tankini on at home so i could see if i had a bad bikini line hanging out the bottom of my bottoms.
we went to the baths,dp got dd2 changed and gave me the armbands and rubber ring to 'sort' and so i just took my out door clothes off and 'met them on poolside' i was dutifully inflating the barbie rubber ring\armbands when dp started advancing down the side of the pool mouthing frantically 'wtf are you doing i can see your minge' i was puffing up the inflatables glaring at him as he gestured and mouthed 'your minge,i can see your minge' i looked on the little chair by the poolside and there,neatly folded,underneath the rubber ring were my tankini bottoms.
i don't know why i took them off,but i was stood inflating shit,by the pool while 'family swim' went on beside me.

@NancyDrooo

“I snapped and farted”

My favourite

Sistine Chapel screamer

JesusInACabbageVan started a thread as 'a know it all & not afraid to give shit advice' bloke AMA type thread. It was hilarious.

Misheard lyrics - Bat Out Of Hell 'like a Cilla Black fan on a bike'.

I remember a thread where the OP was basically addressing the OW saying "You lost, bitch, my H is staying with me, our marriage is stronger than ever and you're a pathetic ugly cow"

First reply was "Congratulations OP, you won a bag of shite"

One thread, I can't even remember what it was about but a poster was called an absolute scrubber. I hadn't heard that term in years and it still makes me chuckle.

@pleaseturnmeover oh well done for finding that! Love it 😁

Thank for finding that @pleaseturnmeover

It never gets old

I quite enjoyed the cow alarms on the home safety thread.

I know it's not a one liner but I really do love the carpet fitter thread and how it keeps getting (or at least kept getting) bumped up every few years. It's so funny when I see it popping up again in the "Trending Now" box.

Some of these are just pure classics!

Me too @LookItsMeAgain.
It's like greeting an old friend. I'm on it 4 or 5 times under a different name every time

(Although what I like is it coming up organically. It'll be annoying if someone sees your comment, revives it and posts mistakenly thinking they're funny by association, rather than demonstrating their total idiocy)

Thanks for finding 'your minge' 😀

The carpet fitter thread is mental. The OP came on and said she's now divorced etc it's been so bloody long!

Not many of these have really made me chuckle, but I LOVED "The Quern"

Hobo sexual to describe a cocklodger

Can somebody please tell me about the carpet fitters thread as that one seems to have evaded me!

Penetration man

My favourite was on a thread talking about the pros and cons of lurchers (dogs).

Many people were saying how much they like to cuddle on the sofa with you.

One poster described how lurchers “are made of elbows”. I just thought it was a most wonderful way of describing them.

Penis beaker was the first thing I read on here - I was crying with laughter, DH thought I had gone mad! 🤣

@Squiff70

Can somebody please tell me about the carpet fitters thread as that one seems to have evaded me!

I can't find it now but it was something like 'Help - carpet fitter has stormed out' - probably in AIBU

I think I'm dead inside as I rarely laugh at these but I really did laugh at the recent one where the OP was listening in to the hot office guy giving his address to a trade's person so she decided to put his post code into the maps app on her phone.

Then it blared out STARTING ROUTE TO (hot guy postcode).. in front of hot guy and whole office.

I really needed a laugh that day and it delivered!

it seems like snapped and farted is the marmite thread. some people find it the funniest thing they have ever read on here, others (like me) found it painfully unfunny

What am I missing? it just seemed like a typo at first but it turned out that OP did mean to say that she snapped and farted, whatever that means? What's funny?