What small things did your parents get wrong when you were a child?

[Forevergold2838]

My mum and dad were/are wonderful but I remember a lot of stress about meal times. We had to clear our plates even if we didn't like it. I was allergic to eggs but it was dismissed as fussy eating even though I would vomit every time I ate them. They also never took a drink for me anywhere. I remember being thirsty on car rides and they'd offer me a sip from their flask of coffee or if they did bring me a drink it would be a small carton of 5 alive that would be gone in 2 seconds. I didn't drink a glass of plain water until I was in my late teens, we'd always have vimto.

My parents were super strict about everything. Except for some reason they let us watch horror films from before early teens. It was too tempting not to and I was horribly scared for years.
We weren’t really allowed to talk at the dinner table. “Children should be seen and not heard”; they now claim this was a joke. If we ever accidentally broke something like a drinking glass they would be furious. Didn’t receive much praise as a child. My brother and I got given very different gender appropriate gifts. Ie I wasn’t allowed a games system.
I had emotional problems and they left me to cry all the time and refused to take me to a therapist because they were told the whole family would also need therapy. Yeah I guess not small mistakes so I’ll stop there. Never understood the horror movies thing though.

@Fridafever

Mine is really petty but I think did impact me. They never let me care how I looked. So I wore very sensible crap clothes and had short easy to care for hair, everyone thought I was a boy. They’re such nice people and fantastic parents in most ways but I can’t help feeling that I wouldn’t have had such a tough time at school if I’d been allowed to look better. I’m ugly either way but it could have less apparent especially at an age where everything is difficult.

I don’t think that’s petty @Fridafever. My parents were similar and had really old-fashioned tastes (had me late in life). Three girls in my Primary class needed reading glasses. At that time you could get a choice of a couple of frames free on NHS (and everyone would know they were the free ones) or pay a tenner and get ‘gold’ framed ones. Two girls got the gold ones. I got naff NHS ones because they didn’t see the point of paying for reading glasses when it was likely my eyes would correct themselves as I grew. And they continued to get the free ones as my eyesight worsened because no way would I wear the NHS ones and get teased.

Well I’m now in my 40s and I can’t see a thing more than a foot in front of my face without glasses/lenses.

I find it easy to criticise my parents but reading this thread makes me realise how amazing they were.

I think the only thing for me (and it is a small thing) is that they didn't really encourage sports. Academics, music and art were considered important but sport was not. When I was a young teen my Mum died and I went overseas to live with some relatives for a while. I got into sport in a big way and it changed my life really positively. Now I see my 8 and 6 year olds who are hugely passionate about their chosen sports (for now - sure this will ebb and flow) and how much joy and pride it brings them, already.
For whatever reason I think they got a lot more wrong for my brother, maybe because he came first.

I had horrible brown clumpy Clarks shoes for years, I was always teased about that. I am a 70’s child. Definitely not being encouraged to do well at school has annoyed me for years. My parents never helped with homework or anything academic, it was just expected that we’d leave school and get a job. I feel I could have done much better if I’d been encouraged more. I think have an inferiority complex from always being compared to my cousins who were really clever (their parents were both teachers)

My cousin died. She was 8, I was nearly 10. We'd all gone to the same primary. Lots of her classmates came for the funeral, and were told by the school to come in uniform, all members from school who attended were seated together. We hadn't been to school since she'd died.

My parents thought it would be a good idea for my brother and I to go in school uniform and sit with the school, instead of with our family

I still think about it nearly 30 years later. Maybe it isn't that 'small' 😬

[quote spectre1356]@CornishGem1975 my dad is still like this now, won't pay parking but ended up getting a parking fine when he could of paid a couple of quid to park closer to where we needed to go. Won't pay for food anywhere out the house. Now I'm always taking my daughter out because we like it and I hate thinking of her feeling the way I use to when I'd see my friends or family going out for meals etc knowing we never did. [/quote]
The parking thing still irks me to this day. If my DH even takes 30 seconds too long to look for a space I get triggered with annoyance!

I wonder what our kids will say about us in years to come?

I think the helicopter parents will be critisised by the next generation for not letting them make their own mistakes and learn to be independent.

I think the criticism will be letting their deep neurosis and social anxiety rub off on their children

@KnottyKnitting

My mum was a hairdresser. She cut my hair till I was about 14. I wasn't allowed long hair as it wasn't "practical" I used to look wistfully at my friends at school with their pony tails, pretty hair slides and bobbles. To make matters worse she cut my hair around my very large sticky out ears... I wince every time I see a photo of myself as a child.

Same here!!! As soon as my hair reached my shoulders she took me to the hairdresser🙄 She said taking care of long hair was too much work. That’s why now as an adult I wear it long aaall the time

My parents would not let me have a pair of jeans. I had a pair of polyester "slacks". This was the early 80s and absolutely everyone else wore jeans. When I tried to ask my parents why, all they would say was that they "didn't like" jeans.
Note: both my parents now wear jeans all the time.

They also wouldn't let me go to the cinema to see Grease. At the time I was really upset because I was one of very few in my class who didn't see it - all the talk in school was about Grease. But we were only about 8 years old, when I watched it as an adult I thought some of the language and themes were a bit much for 8 year olds...so maybe my parents were right on that one

For any 1970s/early 80s chick's out there, I mentioned this to my friend
She said "cloth kits" clothes. With a full on shudder.
Apparently they were nearly made clothes you finished off to make you feel like you made it yourself. Apparently the finished work was very Armish!

And my favourite was not being allowed to watch ITV.
What really makes me laugh is

1. we were latch key kids but still never watched it!
2. my own dear mother now spends the day flicking through 90 channels and has a house full of stuff advertised on them!

Some of these comments make me feel so sad for you all

Well they were right not to let me watch Jim'll fix it....

...my dad used to make me have a slice of bread with tea every evening. That was just weird. I guess it wasn't "wrong" exactly - but weird! It may have been a Northern/Lancashire thing.

My mum was one of those who thought you shouldn't follow fashion and should do your own thing. Well of course as a teen in the 1980s you absolutely had to follow fashion. I was a complete square.

I think that there is more leeway for teens now - not sure about clothes but with music, they listen to all genres from all eras (or at least my ds does). But it's mean of parents not to let their kids fit in (to a reasonable extent).

Oh yes - my parents would never ever pay for parking either unless we were in a strange town where we didn't know where the free parking areas were. My mum is still like it now, car parks are a last resort. And it's harder now as so many more streets have restricted parking.

It's a weird thing, parking. People moan about it where I live - I've yet to meet anyone hard up but they moan about paying £1 for parking (but maybe that's why they're not hard up).

They never really ‘got’ me. I always felt like I was a disappointment to them, that they never really liked me. Plus they didn’t understand the problem I had with certain fabrics because they just didn’t listen.

My mum made me wear Clark's shoes for school which were expensive but bloody hideous whilst my friends had cheaper but much more trendy shoes. We also had good school uniform but my mum wouldn't spend money on outside school clothes so I always looked awful when not in school. I always now make sure my kids have nice clothes for outside of school to compensate!

Drinks were never taken anywhere too like a lot of people have said. Perhaps 70s and 80s parents hadn't heard of hydration! We were never allowed more than 1 drink from a shop or restaurant.

I also had the page boy haircut of the early 80s. I think it was fashionable but I looked like a boy. I remember an old lady called me son at a Blue Peter Bring and Buy sale once and I was horrified.

My sister was very academic at school, went to uni etc. and I did too, but I wasn't quite as clever as her so I was constantly compared to her. Even at school I was known by the teachers as Deborah's sister. You know how bad that makes you feel?

I was blamed for everything in my house which was wrong even if it wasn't me. My sister left a mess in the bathroom once and I got blamed. Small things like that stick with you - I'm 50 and I still hold a grudge about that!!!

I remember an old lady called me son at a Blue Peter Bring and Buy sale once and I was horrified.

First laugh I’ve had all day, thank you (although that must’ve been horrible for you!)

So my parents made some big mistakes but one of the little ones- not knowing the names of my friends. I was friends with the same group of girls in sixth form, we all met up when home from uni etc, now we’re in our late 20s we’ll see each other at weddings etc. Their parents always remember my name and ask how I am- I’ve known these women for over a decade and my parents still don’t know their names.

@Organictangerine

I remember an old lady called me son at a Blue Peter Bring and Buy sale once and I was horrified.

First laugh I’ve had all day, thank you (although that must’ve been horrible for you!)

I know, I'd laugh too if it had happened to someone else!

I can't stop thinking about the drinking thing now :o

If I think back to what colour I thought wee was as a child, presumably that was the normal colour of my wee, and it was a really deep yellow!

I think people just didn't really know about mild dehydration, maybe it was about lack of access to toilets as someone else suggested. I know drinking with meals was feared in the past to affect digestion, mixing something warm and cold in the tummy. I couldn't imagine not having a drink with food now though. Sometimes it's so dry.

Never did anything just for fun.

They had lots of money but it was more important to them to save it. We never once went out for meals or on holidays that weren’t to visit relatives. Every fun activity I did as a child - restaurants, theatre, cinema, beaches, parks, swimming, camping, dance classes…were because friends’ parents invited me along. This was fabulous but also made me resent my dull homelife. I’d never even had fish and chips until I was in the 6th form at school.

They both died recently with stacks of cash in the bank and a nice big house, but we have no memories of anything fun with them.

As a result, I am a completely decadent parent who fosters the importance of being a sybarite.

Never looked after my teeth. I never brushed them.

Never had a drink. Must be a generational thing.

Wasn’t encouraged academically so did fine but could have been exceptional with support.

Not educated on nutrition, always struggled with my weight.

Exposed to adult content too young - I don’t mean porn, I mean knowing we had no money, newspaper headlines etc. i was a big worrier because of it.

Allowed to smoke age 14.