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Original poster

Does it annoy you when friends don’t wish you a happy birthday?

56 replies

goaskmum · 02/04/2022 14:17

So it was my birthday yesterday and not one of the people I’m close friends with wished me a happy birthday.

We don’t do cards and presents, but they never even sent me a message or a post on my Facebook to say happy birthday. I find it especially annoying because I’m always the first to wish them a happy birthday when it’s theirs!

Is anyone else the same? Or do you just let it go over your head?

OP posts:
SomethingWitty44 · 02/04/2022 16:05

Yes, I would be upset. I know lives are busy and people have "shit going on" but not even a belated birthday text sent?

gettingolderandgrumpy · 02/04/2022 16:06

It does a little , one of my friends who makes a big deal when it’s her birthday going out etc but I didn’t even get a happy birthday text .it’s one of the reasons I stop arranging anything with her as something always comes up when I do . I see her as a fair weather friend .

JustMaggie · 02/04/2022 16:17

Birthdays and birthday parties are for kids. I think it's a little weird when grown adults make such a big deal out of them.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 02/04/2022 16:28

Birthdays don't matter to some people, even if they matter to you. I tend to avoid the type of people who do a thing that takes them time and effort and possibly money too, even though I don't want the thing and would say so if they asked me, and then get annoyed when I don't do the thing back to them.

It is a shame that you're upset, but perhaps you have the wrong type of friends and need to find friends who are more in tune with your preferences. Or if they are in every other way great friends then stop bothering about their birthdays, they probably don't care either way whether their birthday is recognised or not.

Do you have your Facebook set to announce your birthday? If you want comments then it should be set to alert others.

WeCouldBeSpearows · 02/04/2022 17:07

@Ionlydomassiveones

What is this new trend of ‘I have other things to think about’ and ‘I’m absent minded’? What utter bollocks. Birthdays are a thing and friends should remember them, even if it’s just a quick text. People come out with lofty excuses to cover the fact that they’re just selfish, tight, lazy and can’t be arsed.
Do you feel the same if the person that 'can't be arsed' has better things to think about than their own birthday too? (Fwiw it's not a 'new trend', I'm 50, and I've felt this way for over half of those 50 years).
SpiderVersed · 02/04/2022 17:09

If my family didn’t acknowledge it, I’d be hurt. Mates, not so much.

TheBigDilemma · 02/04/2022 17:14

No, It doesn’t annoy me at all. I am crap at remembering birthdays but that does not mean I don’t appreciate my friends.

Now, if I thought they were very close friends and they ignored it even when they knew, I wouldn’t be annoyed at them for forgetting it, maybe I would be realising that I may not be such a close friend for them as they are to me.

I would only be annoyed if 4 people forget my birthday: My partner, my adult son and my parents. The other ones I just asume they are busy with their lives.

Vulcanodon · 02/04/2022 17:16

Not usually. But I was pissed off when my group of uni friends forgot my 40th, considering we’ve all turned 40 at around the same time and I have contributed to a group present for their 40th birthdays!

yellowsuninthesky · 02/04/2022 17:47

I think if people are on Facebook and don't wish you a happy birthday it's a bit mean, assuming they're the sort of people who log in every day and will see that it's your birthday.

But otherwise people have busy lives.

I was a bit miffed I didn't get any sort of recognition at work this year (big birthday) especially as other people in the team did - someone turned 50 the week after I did and had a kudoboard and drinks trolley, but for whatever reason mine went unnoticed.

PandemicAtTheDisco · 03/04/2022 00:46

I'm not fussed about birthdays and do a card and small gift for close friends and family. I would feel upset if no one said anything.

I have a friend that expects a huge fuss every year despite her never really making much effort for others. I think some people never grow up from being special birthday girl/boy.

Some people aren't bothered by birthdays at all.They don't celebrate them and get annoyed when others fail to pick up on their hints to not bother. Not reciprocating because they don't want to be forced into buying gifts and cards. They believe you should appreciate people everyday not just a few times as year.

Original poster
goaskmum · 03/04/2022 00:52

@IncompleteSenten

No. But I don't care about birthdays.

If I had a friend that I knew cared, then I absolutely would. Not because I give a shit myself but because I care about what matters to my friends and family.

Happy belated birthday Cake

Aw thank you
OP posts:
Kite22 · 03/04/2022 01:03

No.

I like celebrating my birthday, but I just arrange something with dh and / or the dc. Sometimes my sister.

I don't expect friends to remember my birthday unless I am inviting them to a party or lunch or meal out or something.
I haven't got my birthday on FB, so it doesn't drop into other people's feeds as a reminder.

SniffMyQuiffyHair · 03/04/2022 10:19

Yes, it does bother me. It takes seconds to send a text, and means a lot that someone is thinking of you
Happy belated birthday @goaskmum

StopStartStop · 03/04/2022 10:20

No. Not interested. They don't, I don't, all is well.

roxisolerenshaw · 03/04/2022 10:29

Not in the slightest. I don't have Facebook and would hate birthday messages on a public forum.

Majahah · 06/03/2023 07:10

It does affect my relationship with them. You just can't wish a simple happy birthday

Majahah · 06/03/2023 07:13

But it's nice too

Majahah · 06/03/2023 07:15

Celebrating being alive isn't "nothing"

coodawoodashooda · 06/03/2023 07:34

If the said friend advertises their birthday and enjoys the birthday gift and cared they've basically asked for, then over the following few years realise my birthday is 3 weeks after then I stop bothering. I know you aren't supposed to give to receive but I felt that was a piss take.

redskylight · 06/03/2023 07:46

Do you have your birthday on Facebook? I find there is a direct correlation between those who do and those who get lots of birthday wishes.

SallyWD · 06/03/2023 08:15

My friends are really good at remembering birthdays but if anyone forgets I do feel slightly offended! Only slightly. I think what's important is how they are the rest of the year. If they are generally good, loyal and atgentive friends, I'd let it slide. If they're generally quite thoughtless and don't seem to care avout you then yes, they're not good friends!

Lovegossip · 06/03/2023 08:24

No

I don't care for presents anymore, I'd rather go out and do something on the day with DH, that's more important to me

user1477391263 · 06/03/2023 08:28

I do post "happy birthday" if it comes up on FB when I happen to be on there! However, I probably miss quite a few due to not being on FB all the time, and I don't remember birthdays other than close families if there is not FB reminder. I care about friends a lot, but having to remember 50 people's birthdays (or even constantly checking a birthday book) sounds pretty exhausting. I don't care much about my own birthday. My close family remember and my DH buys me chocolates, job done!

WeCouldBeSpearows · 06/03/2023 08:32

Why has this thread been resurrected? It's from April last year.

UhhhhhhhOK · 06/03/2023 08:33

After 30, why do you want an annual reminder about getting old? 🙃

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