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Original poster

Reasonable age to leave a child home alone

122 replies

CorsicaDreaming · 01/04/2022 10:36

What age do you think it is reasonable to leave a child home alone (from 5 mins pop to the corner shop, to an hour in the daytime, if you want to go out for a quick walk and they don't, to full evenings?)

I'm just interested in what other people's experiences are and what they feel would be reasonable, as the law is surprisingly vague on it. Appreciate there are quite a lot of factors involved, like whether you live near people you know well, or in a remote place, and how sensible your child is, but it would be just interesting to hear people's views - including those nuances - on the question.

Thanks – just wondering when other people started doing this, and how they approached it.

OP posts:
reluctantbrit · 01/04/2022 10:49

I think DD was 9 when we left her to collect the other parent from the station, walked to the post box, dropped someone off etc.

10-ish for a shop lasting around 1 hour.

When she was nearly 11 she came back home from school to an empty house once in a while for 2 hours.

She was just 14 when we left her for a full evening, 5-11pm.

But, she always was a sensible one and we had rules about it and we were always contactable.

ididntevennotice · 01/04/2022 10:53

just wondering when other people started doing this, and how they approached it.

We never left them alone. Never had any reason to. Circumstances meant someone was always around. They grew up to be fine independent adults anyway.

user1497207191 · 01/04/2022 10:54

I'd come home from school alone and let myself into the house from around the age of 7 or 8, and was on my own for an hour or two until my Mum came home from work.

Our family bought a shop (newsagents) when I was in my last year of primary school, so 10 years old and I was serving in the shop from the day we bought it, and would often be on my own serving if my Mum or Dad had to nip out to deliver something (although just a few minutes). It must have been quite a sight for people to come in and buy cigarettes etc from a 10 year old, but at the time I thought it was pretty normal (perhaps it was).

But I was very mature for my young years - everyone has always said I've been a serious person from a very young age!

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Twattergy · 01/04/2022 11:01

DS is 10 and we'll leave him for 30 mins max to walk the dog or pop to shop if he doesn't want to come. I think next school year I'd be happy to have him home alone for max 1 hour.

Lou98 · 01/04/2022 11:02

My kids are still 10 months and in the womb so not sure yet what I'll do with them as like you say, a lot of factors to consider.

From the age of 11 though when I started secondary school I used to come home from school to an empty house as my Mum and Step-Dad were at work. I'd get in around 3:30 and they didn't get in until 7-7:30. I would make my dinner and usually watch some tv before they came home. I had family nearby and could get hold of them if I needed.

I was left alone before that for things like popping to the shops, picking something up etc. I think about 9 if I was alone or 8 if my sister (2 years older) was there too.

I'm 23 now for context so wasn't decades ago or anything

Comedycook · 01/04/2022 11:04

11 for ds...not for long though...say I was dropping dd at an activity

At 12...I left him for about an hour when dd had a medical appointment.

He's 14 now...if leave him for a few hours and but never at night and I wouldn't go very far from home in case of an emergency.

Dd is 11 and I've never left her but she is very young for her age

legalseagull · 01/04/2022 11:05

I'd say around 7ish to pop to the corner shop. I was letting myself in from school at 9 and survived (single working mum). It's easier now with everyone having mobile phones in case of emergency too.
Depends on the child.

TheOldLadyOfThreadneedleStreet · 01/04/2022 11:06

From about 9 for up to an hour. After school until I get home from work, which is about 2 1/2 hours, from the time they went to secondary school. For whole days in the school holidays when I am at work, which is from 7:15am until 6pm, from about 13/14. For evenings from about 14 too. Overnight from 16/17. One extra thing with us was that I didn’t want to leave both my kids together without an adult as they didn’t get on well and I was worried they’d fight. So I was happy to take one out and leave the other, but not leave both of them. This stopped around the time the eldest got to 15/16 and they get on fine now and can be trusted around the house generally. And we are rural and remote so no family / friends close by. They are now 19 and 15 and I plan to go away for 4 nights leaving them in charge. And I’m delighted to report I’m not worried about it at all!

QuinkWashable · 01/04/2022 11:08

I've done 8 for both of mine alone for the 10 minutes down the road and back type thing - and both of them, the first couple of times, chose to stay on the phone with me just in case they got worried, but now don't mind at all.

By 10, my eldest was happy for me to be away an hour (for example during lockdown when they did phased school return, I would take the youngest to school and leave him at home - again, on the phone the whole time the first little while)

at 7 and 10, and again in lockdown so not a lot of choice, I'd leave them together in the house for 40 minutes so I could go and do the food shop - I'd message them when I got there, when I was done etc. and they knew how to call me if they needed anything.

Namechangenumber1 · 01/04/2022 11:14

I've been wondering this myself. I'm planning to be working full time in September, when my son starts high school, and so he'd need to be coming home to an empty house for roughly an hour or so, and wondering if people will think I'm an awful mother for doing so.

Autumn101 · 01/04/2022 11:20

About 9/10 for up to half an hour I think. From secondary age about 2/3 hours (not regularly just occasionally), mine are 12 and nearly 14 and both pretty sensible so I would leave them together for an evening if we weren’t too far away or later than midnight.

Swayingpalmtrees · 01/04/2022 11:29

I would never leave any child under the age of 9 for even a 5 minute pop to the shops (that is never really 5 minutes)

11 years old for half an hour or so
14 years old for a local evening out
18 years old overnight

Swayingpalmtrees · 01/04/2022 11:31

Really can not stand the argument that you were left at 4 years old to fend for yourself and survived therefore leaving a 7 year old is totally fine. We live in a different world now, with more responsible parenting. There is such a thing as progress when it comes to parenting!!

Crazycrazylady · 01/04/2022 11:35

I've started leaving my 9 year old now for max a hour to drop his brother abs an activity or pop to shop. He just started complains about having to come so it sort of evolved from there. He's very sensible though and If on a device would hardly notice I'm not there.Hmm

AmberGer · 01/04/2022 11:36

Around 10, end of year 5 for both my two, not for long periods. Under an hour.
If they're both here together (big age gap, one much older teen now) we've left them for up to 2 hours on a Saturday morning while we've been grocery shopping. They had the option of coming with us and chose to stay at home 😁

thebabynanny · 01/04/2022 11:38

From 8, either 5-10 minutes to pop to the shop or up to an hour with an older sibling.

AHungryCaterpillar · 01/04/2022 11:38

I was reported to ss for leaving my 9 year old (at the time) home alone for 20 mins 😂 so be careful 🤷‍♀️

nearlyspringyay · 01/04/2022 11:44

Dts are 10 and I'll leave them to walk the dog quickly, or go to the shop over the road.

I would send them to the shop instead if we didn't have a really awful junction to cross.

If there was only one of them I would have been inclined to leave them early but they capacity to get up to no good.

Knittingnanny2 · 01/04/2022 11:46

Mine are adults with their own now but I remember when the eldest two were year 4 and 6, so 8/9 and 10/11 I’d leave them together whilst I went out with the baby in a pram or car for an hour or so. They had strict instructions not to answer the door to anyone and I always told my neighbour I was going out just in case there was a fire.
When they were at secondary school I left them for a couple of hours after school as I was teaching in the school at the end of the road and they could come and get me if there was a problem
Eldest two babysat the toddler for a few hours during the day or evening sometimes from about 14/15. They were all very ameniable children and I wasn’t worried they’d argue and cause a problem but remember letting the kind neighbour known there were were children home alone til the eldest was 6 th form!
This was in the 80’s so no mobiles that’s why I thought it essential that someone knew they were home alone

Stompythedinosaur · 01/04/2022 11:47

I leave my 9 and 10yo dds for twenty mins while I walk the dog, but that is all. That said, I leave them for a few hours with limited supervision while I'm working upstairs, but they would be able to get me in an emergency.

SmallestInTheClass · 01/04/2022 11:50

Age 9 for DD1 - just for up to an hour. DD2 is 10 but is very scared of being left alone or with her sister without a parent there, so we haven't ever left her. DD1 is now 12 and we'd be happy for her to be home alone for a couple of hours in the daytime.

Boscoforever · 01/04/2022 12:29

AHungryCaterpillar, what did SS say about it? The reporting wouldn't bother me, I'd a friend who kept insisting that it was illegal to leave a child at home alone before 14yo. But I imagine SS wasn't that interested?

beattieedny · 01/04/2022 12:31

@Swayingpalmtrees

I would never leave any child under the age of 9 for even a 5 minute pop to the shops (that is never really 5 minutes)

11 years old for half an hour or so
14 years old for a local evening out
18 years old overnight

This is spot on, ime.
Harridan1981 · 01/04/2022 12:35

My nearly 10 yr old is sometimes home alone after school for half an hour to an hour, we live 2 mins walk from his school and he tends to call me when he gets in.

Would also leave him for a half hour trip to Aldi if he didn't want to come.

Dd is 11, and I would probably leave her for an hour or so if needed. She's a very practical type. Likewise I would leave her brother with her quite happily.

#3 is only 4, so not for a long while yet!

Laiste · 01/04/2022 12:35

Depends on the child to some extent.

Sensible + trustworthy:

9 for less than an hour.
10 for an hour ish.
11 for over an hour.

More than a couple of hours - 12.

A whole day - 14/15.

But this is just me knowing my kid obvs.

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