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Original poster

Reasonable age to leave a child home alone

122 replies

CorsicaDreaming · 01/04/2022 10:36

What age do you think it is reasonable to leave a child home alone (from 5 mins pop to the corner shop, to an hour in the daytime, if you want to go out for a quick walk and they don't, to full evenings?)

I'm just interested in what other people's experiences are and what they feel would be reasonable, as the law is surprisingly vague on it. Appreciate there are quite a lot of factors involved, like whether you live near people you know well, or in a remote place, and how sensible your child is, but it would be just interesting to hear people's views - including those nuances - on the question.

Thanks – just wondering when other people started doing this, and how they approached it.

OP posts:
Whatwouldscullydo · 01/04/2022 16:14

I think its quite feasible there wouod aways be an adult in the house.

Especially if you have adult children or work term times only or one person worked nights and got back befire the other left for work.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/04/2022 16:14

2 adults working from home?
Elderly relative also lives there?
They live on business premises?

Can you honestly not see how it could happen thats theres always an adult around?

ididntevennotice · 01/04/2022 16:16

@Delatron

Ok *@ididntevennotice* like another poster said I’m struggling to understand how there would always be an adult in the house. There are several occasions weekly where there are no adults in my house. I don’t think that’s unusual.

I can understand basic information. It’s just unusual that’s all.

I’m exploding I’m I? Have I resorted to insults and swearing? You know like your last post?

I’m just confused about your cryptic posts that’s all.

It was a typo for exposing.

Swearing is allowed. You were fucking nasty.

If you are struggling to understand why an adult would always be in the house I'm afraid that is wholly your issue. Not mine. I'm not being cryptic. Circumstances which are none of anyone else's business dictated that we always had an adult in the house. I'm sorry that's difficult for you to comprehend without the gory details but I'm not here to provide them, despite your best efforts earlier.

I posted, quote innocently, that someone was always home and the kids grew up to be independent adults. That's all the thread needs.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families Family law
Delatron · 01/04/2022 16:19

Ok. Well i did want to end the conversation @ididntevennotice as I didn’t think it was relevant to the thread. So massive derailment and much swearing from you later...

Shame as it was a interesting thread up until that point.

Delatron · 01/04/2022 16:21

@Aroundtheworldin80moves. Myself and my husband work from home. Does not mean we don’t ever leave the house. In the evening? It think it’s unusual. That’s all.

Greydogs123 · 01/04/2022 16:25

I leave my 9 year old dd at home for up to 45 mins while I walk the dog around the village. I always have my phone on and she knows not to answer the door to anyone.

ididntevennotice · 01/04/2022 16:26

@Delatron

Ok. Well i did want to end the conversation *@ididntevennotice* as I didn’t think it was relevant to the thread. So massive derailment and much swearing from you later...

Shame as it was a interesting thread up until that point.

You must be reading something else?

I posted on this thread before you. You came along and started picking nits out of my post. I replied, you were nasty...

Anyone can read the posts so don't be saying I derailed the thread Hmm

ididntevennotice · 01/04/2022 16:28

[quote Delatron]@Aroundtheworldin80moves. Myself and my husband work from home. Does not mean we don’t ever leave the house. In the evening? It think it’s unusual. That’s all.[/quote]

'I think it's unusal, that all'

WTF - you said it was a strange set up (despite not having a clue of said set up) and told me I need to get out more Angry

Fucking 'just think it's unusual' my arse Hmm

Lovemyheathershimmer · 01/04/2022 16:28

Iv just started leaving my son, who’s 11, 12 in June. Popped to matalan and the chemist earlier for a few hours. Told him not to answer the door. He was fine

Avocadobacardi · 01/04/2022 16:30

@Delatron how hard is it to believe there was always an adult in the house. Maybe it’s a fully staffed house if they’re very wealthy with a full time housekeeper / gardener / helper or maybe there’s someone living there who never leaves the house, I had a grandparent who lived with us and never went out for various reasons. Maybe there’s a disabled person living there who has 24/7 carers. Who know? It can happen

Delatron · 01/04/2022 16:31

You sound very angry @ididntevennotice

Maybe don’t post information on the internet if you don’t want questions about it. Then resort to swearing.

Delatron · 01/04/2022 16:33

Ok @Avocadobacardi yes I know loads of fully staffed households round here.

Yes it can happen. It’s unusual though! I can’t think of anyone I know who has an adult in the house at all times. I’m not saying it never happens just it’s not a common situation.

And like I’ve said irrelevant to the thread if we are talking about leaving children.

AHungryCaterpillar · 01/04/2022 16:37

@ShadowPuppets

Out of interest, does anyone think there's a difference between the age you'd leave a child so you could go to the shops, versus the age you'd let the child go to the shops themselves?

I can't believe that those who say they wouldn't leave a 10 year old alone for five mins to go to the shops, wouldn't allow said 10 year old to walk to a shop 5 mins away?

I would leave mine alone but he isn’t allowed to walk to the shops, too many roads to cross and it’s on a bus route and due to the road it’s not easy to cross because of the way cars park you can’t easily see what’s coming, so depends on the area. I would happily leave him at home. He sometimes goes into the shop whilst I wait outside it but usually he tells me they ask him where his parents are.
ididntevennotice · 01/04/2022 16:38

@Delatron

You sound very angry *@ididntevennotice*

Maybe don’t post information on the internet if you don’t want questions about it. Then resort to swearing.

I'm not angry, nice wee try though. I can see you trying to gain me but by bit and I see where it started, you didn't like that I had an answer for you when you wrongly assumed having an adult in the house meant I walked me teenagers to school.

I can post whatever the fuck I like on the internet by the way. As I said earlier I gave enough information to answer the OP. Your small mind didn't need to get involved.

ididntevennotice · 01/04/2022 16:38

Goad typo

Delatron · 01/04/2022 16:41

You sound lovely @ididntevennotice
Have a nice evening!

reluctantbrit · 01/04/2022 16:48

@Delatron

I understand all kids are different but surely they need to learn to cope with being in their own (unless other issues) ? The tea towel guys knocking on the door wouldn’t be an issue as mine do not open the door. (And we have a video doorbell that just rings our mobile so we could see and speak to the person at the other end).

They know not to attempt to cook. They know what to do if there’s a fire. I run through lots of situations with them to check they know what to do. I was babysitting at 13/14. I think my 11 (nearly 12) and 13 year old are fine left alone for a few hours. They need to learn independence.

Exactly. In order to leave them at home you have to teach them what to do, not just never letting them do things.

DD knows not to open the door and screens the landline calls. I don't plan deliveries if I know she is on her own.

When we leave her for more than just the odd hour, she has to make sure her mobile is fully charged so in an event of a power cut, she can phone us etc. She has our neighbour's phone numbers available.

She knows where torches are and not to light candles

She can cook but at the moment doesn't do it unless she phones us first and tells us what she plans.

If the wifi is down, she still has her phone and knows enough other things to do to spend her time, we also have a DVD player and normal TV if she is really desperate.

Delatron · 01/04/2022 16:54

Yes @reluctantbrit that was what I was getting at. At some point they will need to be able to cope with being alone and what to do if different situations arise. At the right age it’s good to get that practice in.

For example DS 13 is rubbish with checking his phone. We couldn’t get hold of him when we were out for a few hours and had to have serious words with potential consequences if he doesn’t stay in touch. So now he’s much better at checking in and answering the phone

InTheCludgie · 01/04/2022 17:29

whatwouldscullydo changed days indeed, at 8 years old my mum was sending me to the newsagent two streets away, one of which was a busy main road, to buy fags for her. Nobody batted an eyelid!

My DS age 11 starts high school in August and there will be times when he will have to be on his own for a couple of hours After school. I'm a FT student so it very much depends on my classes and placements. I've been prepping him by leaving him home alone to drop DD at classes, parties etc but still feel a little anxious about it.

MajorCarolDanvers · 01/04/2022 17:41

@reluctantbrit

I think DD was 9 when we left her to collect the other parent from the station, walked to the post box, dropped someone off etc.

10-ish for a shop lasting around 1 hour.

When she was nearly 11 she came back home from school to an empty house once in a while for 2 hours.

She was just 14 when we left her for a full evening, 5-11pm.

But, she always was a sensible one and we had rules about it and we were always contactable.

Agree with all of this.
Original poster
CorsicaDreaming · 01/04/2022 21:46

Thanks for so many really useful replies.

My son is 9 so it does feel just on the cusp of okay to leave him for a brief while, but I think I may wait a while yet... and just keep persuading him that an evening walk is much better than more time on Minecraft (which is the current big sticking point!)

OP posts:
vickyc90 · 02/04/2022 07:59

DS is 8 we both work shifts, we have started leaving him for 10 minutes if we are popping to a neighbour and the other parent is in bed. Yet we let him play out in the street with only 15 minute check ups! Tho the small play park they all use is only two doors down.

Our aim is this summer when he is nearly 9 he will be allowed 30 minutes in the street before we go out to check on him.

Year 6 (11 in winter term) he will be getting the bus home across our small town (5-10minutes maximum) as it is door to door practically. So will be left on an evening some nights until one of us gets in around 5:30pm. Hopefully this will prep him for secondary school as he will have a 30 minute bus ride to do.

underneaththeash · 02/04/2022 08:01

We first left DD when she was 10 for a few minutes and she started walking home from the bus. She's almost 11 and we now leave her for up to 30 minutes.

Climbingthelaundrymountain · 02/04/2022 08:06

About 10 or 11. My two eldest are now 12 and 14 and perfectly happy to be at home together or by themselves for a few hours.
I will have to work a couple of days in the Easter holidays and they will be fine alone 8-4. They might pop round to my nan's if they want to.

Classicblunder · 02/04/2022 08:35

@Timeturnerplease

Surely it’s pretty standard for children to be home alone for a few hours age 11+? Secondaries don’t have wraparound care, so unless there’s a SAH or WFH parent then it’s assumed that they’d get themselves home and sorted out.
This was what I was going to say - surely it is a) totally impractical for most 11 year olds not to be regularly home alone after school and b) the lack of childcare provision for that age group suggests that most parents are fine with it, hence no demand