Work phrases that only exist in your field

[NoEffingWay]

'Level 1,2,3 & 4 obs'
'Where's the ward lighter?'
The magic numbers-'5&2'
'Sectioned or informal?'
'They have been secluded'
'Absconsion risk'
And many more!

The world of mental health nursing is full of 'em.

What words or phrases do you use at work which no-one understands.

Mine are
Points free
70 day rule
PAC

PEEP
PSV
CPAP
ETCO2
SaO2
ABG
CVC
MAP
PiCCO
TO4
Alf & prop

To name but a few…..

In a previous life I attended a weekly meeting called “sausage penetration”.

And no, I’m not kidding you lol

Please someone tell me what the ‘Q’ word is….

Is that 128 casing or 113?
I can never figure it out.

FOAD letter
(Fuck off and die)

I'm a lawyer. Sadly we only get to write letters like this occasionally.

"Someone's done a poo and it smells like a diarrhoea one."

"Take that crayon out of your nose."

"We do not bite our friends on the face."

"No, we cannot eat shaving foam, it's not whipped cream."

"Who's done a wee wee on the bathroom floor?"

"That playdough won't taste very nice"

"Would you like a cuddle?"

"Time to do a poo check"

Did you work in the same financial services firm as me then?

It’s not rocket science...oh but actually it is.

Ttm/swoc/ppud/cb4w/npr2d

Any one decifer this?

@saddowizca the Q word was 'quiet' where I worked . If anyone said it you could guarantee all hell would break loose in the next 5minutes !

A fair few SW's here

Not lifting that, it has greedy boards.

@NationMcKinley

PEEP PSV CPAP ETCO2 SaO2 ABG CVC MAP PiCCO TO4 Alf & prop

To name but a few…..

Probably very similar, but we don't use alf

@Yellowleadbetter

Can we do the WHO?' ODP? Surgeon? Anaethatist?

Yep, I was a student ODP (had to drop out, sadly).

@saddowizca the Q word is a 5 letter word meaning the opposite of busy. I am not going to specify what the word is as I’m working tomorrow and it’s FORBIDDEN in the NHS to ever say this word.

A comparison is theatre actors using “The Scottish Play” as a euphemism for Shakespeare’s Macbeth as it’s meant to bring bad luck otherwise.

Anyone saying “oh it’s q” in a hospital is greeted with a sharp intake of breath and a special glare. Then it invariably goes completely tits up and you have the shift from hell

Don’t use the Q word in place either, doesn’t get as hectic as NahS but has moments.

Rm 1 is a G2 P1 - SD lasting 4 min with PPH 1550L NNR needed and now in scbu.

Rm 2 - G1 P0 - needs antid 1500IU

So many, we’re all respectful but as with a lot of industries if we didn’t use shorthand we’d be in handover for hours

@bumblingalongslowly and @HammerToFall

Def same line of work…..!

Jib start on blue mushrooms, sweep and z/i to CU xylo

He’s on a 3-staff
I’ve opened an ACCT
The CM is on the 2s
Ask the SO
Refer to PICU
Section 47/31
TTOs
OMU
COMs and POMS
DIVA
Purple Visits
Red bands
VPs
CSU/Seg

It’s true, we do speak in a sort of code!

BSL or SSE

I have spent a lot of time as a patient and I never find handover or being called cubicle 3 or bed 4 disrespectful if I can hear it (cubicle near nursing station). It might help that I understand some of the jargon just around my own condition and usually what tests I’m having as planned treatment.
I only care if people speak (literally and figuratively) over my head standing round the bed.

But why always ‘Shrom’ and AY-AR-EM? Does it became a word once the acronym is over 3 letters? Will we ever give up the T in PET? When will they stop trying to make IVO happen?

@Greygreygrey getting better every day thank heavens!