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Original poster

Hate getting home from work

122 replies

Fireworksatforty · 29/03/2022 16:26

Does anyone else hate it when they get in from work?

I'm lucky in many ways in that I finish at 4 and DH works from home so can pick up the kids from school. However ......

Each night it's the same. The kids have gone through the kitchen like locusts, DH thinks his work is done childcare wise and shuts himself in his office. Invariably has meetings ALWAYS from 4-5 or 6 so is on the phone when I get in when I'm faced with carnage and the kids running wild then I have to prep dinner, tidy the kitchen, whilst fielding the fucking door going for various reasons and DH wonders why I'm in a foul mood by dinner time and just want to go to bed for the rest of the evening.

I know I have a DH problem. I'm sick of it.

OP posts:

Habitatty282 · 29/03/2022 16:47

What hours does your DH work? Does he actually have work commitments or is he pulling a fast one?

I think when DC are young it's just a busy time of the day made worse by feeling frazzled after work. It gets easier as they get older. My DH doesn't get in until 7pm so I've always had to do the after school shift, younhave my sympathy but it is just part of family life.

Original poster

Fireworksatforty · 29/03/2022 16:55

@Habitatty282 you are absolutely right. I'm just having a tantrum. To be fair DH is supposed to be working until 5 so his meetings aren't unreasonable I just feel like I walk in from work straight into a mad house and barely get to draw breath until gone 7-8pm when I'm up at 5.30 and in work by 6.30am.

OP posts:

Clymene · 29/03/2022 16:57

There's nothing lucky about finishing at 4 if you are faced with carnage.

Can you change your hours to start and finish later?

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HellToTheNope · 29/03/2022 16:58

How old are your kids?

RestingPandaFace · 29/03/2022 16:58

Could you start and finish later or put the kids in after school club so that you can pick them up and control the chaos from the start?

Pegasussnail · 29/03/2022 17:02

I always do the after school stuff as I finish earlier. Plus out the uniforms on for wash. Make lunches. Dh lifts a knife and fork to eat and reads the paper when he comes in. So I went part time and have a few hours once a week. Also I batch cook and use microwave rice etc

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 29/03/2022 17:09

Well, if DH is working he can't be expected to do childcare at the same time. He might physically be home but he's still got to work - so I don't see why he's the problem?

Can you not just do the basics until he's finished and then you split everything else between you?

BoredZelda · 29/03/2022 17:27

I hated it too.

But, has to be done. Perhaps have a rota for dinners. And get a slow cooker!

hopeishere · 29/03/2022 17:33

When I wasn't working from home I hated it too. Pick up DC and then straight into dinner / homework / bit of housework.

WFH has made it all so much better.

Jongy · 29/03/2022 17:37

Could you have some snack prepared such as sandwiches in clingfilm in the fridge that your husband can give them along with drinks and then he shut the kitchen door so that they’re not allowed back in, a high bolt put at the top of kids can’t be trusted?

Also, don’t answer your door unless you have invited someone.

PurpleBaskets · 29/03/2022 17:51

[quote Fireworksatforty]@Habitatty282 you are absolutely right. I'm just having a tantrum. To be fair DH is supposed to be working until 5 so his meetings aren't unreasonable I just feel like I walk in from work straight into a mad house and barely get to draw breath until gone 7-8pm when I'm up at 5.30 and in work by 6.30am. [/quote]
So assuming DH has to do school morning carnage and drop off as well as pick up ?

EmmaH2022 · 29/03/2022 17:53

How old are the kids? Why does the doorbell keep ringing?

TammyOne · 29/03/2022 17:54

Could you have some snack prepared such as sandwiches in clingfilm in the fridge that your husband can give them along with drinks

Can't her husband do that?? very few people working from home have no time in the day that they could make a sandwich or do a bit of washing/washing up.
You are getting the shitty end OP. Don't come home so early. "Work Late" at least 2 days a week. He can sort everything when he finishes work, which will probably be miraculously around 4.30 if you are not home to skivvy.

TammyOne · 29/03/2022 17:56

I would rather deal with "morning carnage" whatever that is, than be up at 5.30 am!

Sweetchocolatecandy · 29/03/2022 18:01

I also don’t think your DH is the problem if he minds the kids while you finish work then you take over while he finishes. What you are describing is just the drudgery of every day life for many people I’m afraid.

Longbin · 29/03/2022 18:04

It sounds like you are the problem rather than DH. If you collected the kids despite working until 5, would you not think that deserved at least some appreciation?

Cocomarine · 29/03/2022 18:05

Why does your doorbell ring so often at that time? Odd! Not the point of the post, so I appreciate it’s just my curiosity!

How old are your kids, with the locusts comment?! None of mine (own and step) have ever just “gone through” a kitchen - they know what they’re allowed to take. I’m not even a particularly strict parent - but as one back to WFH straight after pick up, rules are set as to what can and can’t be taken.

Oblomov22 · 29/03/2022 18:06

What age are your kids? Why are they running wild. Mine never did when they came home. Why are you tidying the kitchen? Why isn't it tidy already?

SmellyOldOwls · 29/03/2022 18:10

You sound like my DH, I WFH until or I'm supposed to but the last couple of hours is a struggle to get peace to work because he seems to think I should be getting involved with the after school dinner making chaos.

Retrievemysanity · 29/03/2022 18:12

DH problem? Don’t see why it’s his fault if he’s working what sound like pretty standard hours. Why are your kids running wild and causing carnage if he’s working? Isn’t making the tea just standard, I don’t see why that’s such a big deal. Put the tv on for the kids and ignore the door if you need to.

Stayingstrongish · 29/03/2022 18:13

I’m a single mum with two young kids under 6, and one with mild special needs. the days I have them after school are tiring, a race to pick them up from after school/nursery, then feed them, wash them, get them to bed on my own. But still I don’t think I find it as tiring as you describe. Can you make evening meals any simpler? Mine are as basic as they can get. I also collapse afterwards and have loads of me time, which is maybe what you’re missing. You do have a really early start too, which must be tiring.

Retrievemysanity · 29/03/2022 18:14

Or put them in after school club/childminder if you’re struggling.

Frangiblepins88 · 29/03/2022 18:16

Tbh I think the "witching hours" between 4-6 pm with DC after school are difficult whether you are a sahp who has been home for the majority of the day or a wohp. The DC have held in their good behaviour for school and are decompressing, hungry and tired.

I think you need to have a talk with your DH and make him realise that you haven't had a break since 5.30 am. He should not be leaving the kitchen a mess for you if you are cooking dinner for example. And maybe he could do some dinner prep during the day?

I think the key to mastering this is advance planning and a fairly strict routine.

I can't link it but have a look at the You Tube video "My evening routine with three kids" by Gemma Bray who is responsible for The Organised Mum Method of household management.

Uafasach · 29/03/2022 18:17

It sounds like just a busy house tbh. If you are at work by 6.30am, does your DH do breakfast and the morning school run?

If he does and he does afternoon pick up, I don't think it's unreasonable that you make dinner. Although I am mystified by people that have to prepare and cook dinner every night; I cook max 3 times per week, I make double portions or prep different varieties of the same food.

MuthaHubbard · 29/03/2022 18:18

Does your dh do the morning wrangling/school drop off as well? If be quite happy if all I had to do when I got in was make tea. If he's taken time of out of his working day to do pick up/drop offs then he of course has to make that time up

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