Mothers of adult children - what are your expectations on Mother's Day?

[ReeseWitherfork]

I've always found the logistics of Mother's Day quote tricky; namely splitting the day between my mum, my MIL and my step mum. It's not horrendous, but does require some wangling to fit everyone in. I'm really happy to celebrate all of these women, they're incredible, but the day ends up feeling a bit forced and a bit more of a chore than anything else. (Which makes me feel awful.)
So my question is, how do mothers of adult children feel? / what are your expectations of your children?

I think it's even more confusing to navigate now that I'm a mother (well, this is my third Mother's Day but Boris dictated a lack of plans on the last two).

(If it helps, they're all local, we all live in the same town. And yes, DH and I could split up, I think that's how we tackled Father's Day last year.)

My dad will probably cook a big Sunday dinner for me, DS, my mum, my brother, SIL and nieces. DP is working but may come over after but Mother's Day is hard for him as he lost his own mum as a young age but knows how close I am with my mum and now we have DS does make the effort for me.

I used to see mine on Mother’s Day for a meal plus card and gifts with my sibling.
Now I’m a mother we tend to meet up on a different day instead but sometimes it might be joint.
MIL lives abroad though so there’s no conflict there. DH doesn’t even send a card!

@OnceuponaRainbow18

Your 'set up' sounds lovely! Miss my mum so no celebrating Mothers Day. Gran and Nana both gone too.

I used to split myself in 2 trying to see my mum and DH to see his mum plus for me to have a nice day too with our children. Then around 5 years ago I said no more to the rushing around and we now do a meet up with the mils and have a meal on the Sat, usually at our house and with some cake and food. Then the Sunday is just for me and our kids to enjoy
I feel that way we all have a nice time
I don't it's about the day as such but just spending some time together in a nice way

Usually they would come home from Uni, but this year one will be on an amazing holiday with her friends pre 21st birthday and one will be I the middle of completing their dissertation. I would have thought they might send cards. Its nice to see them, but at this age (20's) I don't expect to if that makes sense. When they were smaller and lived at home they would make cards and bring me coffee and toast in bed, which was sweet.

I don’t place a lot of stock over ‘Day’s’ tbh! but I know some people do.
When my DC were little and they made things, that was so cute but as adults I’m happy to see them and enjoy their time with me whenever.
Maybe arrange to see them on different days or meet for coffee all together?
Hope it all works out!

@luckylavender

I've been a mother for 9 years. DH has been a father for 9 years. On every father's day, he's received a card and a present because I've taken DD out and let her choose something.

[quote ErmineAndPearls]@luckylavender

I've been a mother for 9 years. DH has been a father for 9 years. On every father's day, he's received a card and a present because I've taken DD out and let her choose something.[/quote]
Stop doing it then. It's not important to him.

Mine are 26 (m) 24 (m) 22 (f) - eldest will be home for the weekend, might get me a card but that's it. Middle child is off to Milan with his flatmates - suspect hes not realised its Mothering Sunday but will probably send a card or plant next week - he's usually really good with cards. Youngest is usually the one who organises joint stuff with her brothers but is up to her eyeballs in dissertation and final exams so not expecting anything from her.

I will take my mum something - either buy a pretty plant and card or make her an afternoon tea selection of cakes. My home situation means I can't invited her and Dad round for Sunday lunch this year .

Mine completely lived up to my expectations. In age order:

DS1 - messaged me in a panic on Saturday to say that his DGM's card would be arriving early on Monday and could I intercept it and keep it safe until the day. I pointed out that it would actually be a day late which didn't matter anyway because she is unaware of days and dates. He and his wife had somehow missed the commercialisation of Mother's Day in every shop and google had given them the date of the American Mother's Day so "very sorry mum, your present will be late!"

DD1 phoned and we had a lovely chat.

DD2 phoned to say she had my present but it would be late - she actually lives round the corner but with work and childcare she hadn't been able to call round.

DS2 sent me a carefully chosen book that he knows I will love.

DD3 sent me a beautiful throw that she knew I had fancied a while ago.

So I had the usual chaotic oldest and the very thoughtful youngest and everything in between and I love them all and wouldn't change a thing.