Mumsnet buzzwords you can’t stand *light hearted*

[Wavypurple]

There are a few for me that set my teeth on edge.

‘Pop’ - my number one. My mortal enemy of MN words. Just ‘pop’ a plaster on it. I might ‘pop’ some money into a savings account. Why don’t you ‘pop’ to the GP for your Diet Coke addiction. No idea why it sets me off in such a way.

‘Flourish’ - enough said

There must be more of you out there. Are there any words you can’t stand that are MN buzzwords?

Again just to stress this is light hearted and I do not hold personal grudges against users that use these words 🤣

Breezy/breezily i.e. ‘ask them breezily if they meant to be so rude’.

OLD

I've never come across this OLD abbreviation until on Mumsnet and it confused the F out of me. "I met a guy on OLD" "a guy from OLD" "first time using OLD"

@Tidlo

Neurodivergent. Apparently pretty much everyone is and it's used as an excuse for shitty behaviour

And those countless 'anxiety issues'. Who cares? Just fuck off and be anxious nowhere near me.

DH, DP, DS and DD.

I know it's a foundation of Mumsnet but it's SO annoying

The armchair diagnoses make me eye-roll.

EVERYBODY is either neurodivergent (and I say this as an autistic person with an NHS diagnosis myself), has early-onset dementia, social anxiety or - my favourite, as actual, proper presentation is vanishingly rare - a narcissist.

Sometimes, people are just dicks (or consider that other people may just not agree with or like you and perhaps you are the dick in that particular scenario). That's life.

'Top' as in

Top uni
Top indie
Top selective state school
Top performing grammar
Top private school

If someone manages to use 'top' and 'pop' in the same post, I want to use a cream pie to the face.

@eatentoomanygrapes

DH, DP, DS and DD.

I know it's a foundation of Mumsnet but it's SO annoying

Somebody has actually written ddog and dpuppy today. As well as being twee as fuck, it’s an extra letter. No bloody excuse!

EVERYBODY is either neurodivergent (and I say this as an autistic person with an NHS diagnosis myself), has early-onset dementia, social anxiety or - my favourite, as actual, proper presentation is vanishingly rare - a narcissist.

This grinds my gears, too, particularly the diagnoses of NPD.
Another is the self-diagnosed OCD. My autistic DD has OCD (properly diagnosed) so badly it makes normal life impossible, yet lots of posters claim to have OCD because they like to have a clean, tidy kitchen or something. Ridiculous.

Oh, and don't forget the emetophobes!

@ParanoidGynodroid Completely agree - 'I'm SO OCD' is almost as irritating as 'well, everybody's on the spectrum, aren't they?'.

However, I do admire those people with OCD / parents of children with OCD who step in to correct that particular horrible phrase on threads - I've learned a lot about OCD thanks to informed, educated people on MN.

"Everyone's on the spectrum" makes me absolutely murderous, @AffIt!!

'Live rurally' gets to me, as it's very rarely used correctly. What most people mean is they live in a village.

@ParanoidGynodroid

Oh, and don't forget the emetophobes!

Oh god, yes.

Nobody - literally NOBODY - enjoys vomiting (or maybe they do, but that's not an internet rabbit hole I choose to fall down).

Not liking something does not equate to a phobia.

Boils my piss

Dear Reader - AARRGHGHGHGH - you are not Jane Austen

'Treat' used as a verb

I didn't want to read and run - please just do exactly that

'Myself' used in all the wrong places.

In real life 'myself' misusing types can sometimes be found overusing 'Perfect' - eg in response to every single answer you give when you are filling in a telephone form, and you know that if you announced that you had just set your granny on fire they wouldn't miss a beat and would respond with another perky 'Perfect!' I had one the other day who varied that and said it twice 'Perfectperfect' every single time he spoke... Just bloody listen! Don't know why it annoys me so much! Presumably they just want to hurry up so they can get rid of me !

(I am turning into a grumpy old bag)

@Andylion

I almost feel bad for saying this, but when I hate it when posters call an OP “Lovely”, as in “Oh Lovely, I am so sorry you are going through this”.

Utterly vomit-worthy. It's the MN version of 'hun' and feels every bit as patronising and cloying as the original.

Don't assume a relationship with somebody you wouldn't recognise if they punched you in the face.

Diagram needed ....I bet the people who type that say it with a tinkly laugh to themselves

Everyone 'sobs' on here never just cries...

And I agree with the need to diagnose....
'They sound like they have adhd'
'Have they been tested?'
'Have you not applied for an ehcp? ' As if they magically appear)

Teens are just teens 99% of the time
And some people are just unpleasant or do odd things for no other reason than they just bloody do..... 99% of the time.

Own wee family now

It took me ages to connect narc with narcissist. It sounded to me like one of those words you used to hear to describe wronguns in The Bill like grass or scrote (scroat?)

I suggested to a friend that she looked at mumsnet before and she thought the abbreviations were the hilarious. Her favourite (which she still uses in texts) is stbxdh

I think you’re right @Sheilaroundthefountain nark meaning grass/snitch?

Boak, I know it's a Scottish word but it should stay there. 😁

Somebody has actually written ddog and dpuppy today. As well as being twee as fuck, it’s an extra letter. No bloody excuse!

Something along the lines of “when ddog was a dpuppy..”. Just no. Same for dpony, drabbit, etc.

Also “nip it in the bud”.

'critical thinking'

Everyone 'sobs' on here never just cries...

Also all the shaking. I always wonder if it’s figurative or they’re literally sat at their computer shaking. Wierd.