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Original poster

Today I felt the judgement of other shoppers

132 replies

bloodywhitecat · 17/03/2022 15:50

My little one, not quite 2, had a bit of a meltdown today as we popped into a local store, he threw himself on the floor, prostrate and screaming so I picked him up and gave him a cuddle. Some fellow shoppers let me know that he was a "naughty boy" and that he would "...never learn to behave" if I dealt with him that way. I wanted to tell those shoppers that this little boy has lost the only man he knew as a father figure just two weeks ago, we are both grieving. What he needs now is love and reassurance not rejection or anger. I wanted to tell them to go away and wind their necks in but I didn't. He's not yet two and the world is a confusing place for him right now, every day he asks for my husband and every day I have to say "

OP posts:
user1471443411 · 17/03/2022 18:33

I'm really sorry about your husband. Try not to worry what other people think, most of us have been there with the tantrums BUT it's really good that your son let you pick him up and cuddle him mid tantrum, mine would never let me, nothing would work with them. You should have told the shoppers what you said in your first response, it might shame them and make them think twice.

Callingallskeletons · 17/03/2022 18:34

Oh I’m so incredibly sorry OP 😢

Just10moreminutesplease · 17/03/2022 18:35

I’m so sorry for your loss Flowers.

When it comes to judgmental fools, there’s no need to be polite. Glare at them, tell them to mind their own business, loudly explain to your lo that he should ignore the rude man/woman who has no idea what is going on in his life… or just take comfort in the fact you’re not an odorous busybody like them.

Neither you or your little boy did anything wrong.

Bromse · 17/03/2022 18:37

That's heartbreaking, I am so sorry. Your little boy is only two, the other shoppers should have taken no notice instead of chiming in with unhelpful comments.

Bless you, this is such a hard time for you and him. x

lborgia · 17/03/2022 18:42

I don’t understand this, I really don’t. No child has a meltdown without a reason. Truly. Even if it looks as if it’s about not being allowed to be 10 boxes of coco pops in teh trolley, it’s something else.

I’m so sorry OP, you are going through enough, without such ridiculous people chiming in.

At least you know you did the right thing. Your son is very lucky.

VampireMoney · 17/03/2022 18:43

I'm so sorry @bloodywhitecat I remember the heartbreaking threads about your wonderful DH. People can be unkind. You must be so overwhelmed right now. I wish I had been there, I would have put them in their place for you Thanks

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/03/2022 18:46

If you’d told him off you would have done the wrong thing
If you’d told him off you would have done the right thing

If you’d left him alone you would have done the wrong thing
If you’d left him alone you would have done the right thing

Fuck other opinions- how you handle your child is the right way. People are vile and their opinions to be ignored.

So sorry for your loss

HikingforScenery · 17/03/2022 18:54

Oh OP. This sounds so hard. I’m so sorry Flowers

carefullycourageous · 17/03/2022 19:00

Sorry for your loss Flowers

I used to just give this face Hmm to anyone who commented on me. You owe no one an explanation.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 17/03/2022 19:06

Write on a card

Fuck off. His dad has died

And proffer it to judgemental folk.

Iamkmackered1979 · 17/03/2022 19:09

So sorry for your loss op, heartbreaking for you both.
People like to judge, I’ve got 4 boys who have had their fair share of tantrums/meltdowns over the years - youngest is asd so is a pro these days. I’ve also had my fair share of old dears giving me well meaning advice. I used to get angry and indignant but now let it wash over me and they mean well

NinjaQueen · 17/03/2022 19:12

I am sorry for your loss OP, your poor boy does indeed need love and cuddles.

I don't give a toss what anyone else thinks of me, I remind myself that I will never see these people again in my life, their opinion doesn't matter.

Be kind to yourself and don't let inconsequential strangers have a lm inch of your brain.

Blossom64265 · 17/03/2022 19:17

Whenever I see a Mom struggling with a toddler, I just want to go up to her and tell her that we have all been there and the days are coming when she will be able to run an errand with ease again.

I’m sorry for your loss. Give your son as much love and understanding as you can manage and please do the same for yourself.

irishfarmer · 17/03/2022 19:23

I can't ever imagine saying anything like that to a parent or interfering at all really. I am so sorry for what you are going through I really can't imagine how hard it is x

kagerou · 17/03/2022 19:31

ffs people can be horrible, he's 2! even in normal circumstances I'd give a 2 year old a cuddle and try to calm them down rather than punishing them for being naughty when theyre too young to really understand

Deathraystare · 17/03/2022 19:41

Reminds me of my Nan who was in a shop with my Dad as a youngster who threw a prize tantram (probably wanted a toy and money was tight!). Anyway some Bezom came up to my Nan and sniffed "Some people don't deserve children"!

I am willing to bet the Bezom never had kids!

ancientgran · 17/03/2022 19:43

@Sunnymummy8

So sorry for your loss.. you give you child as much love as you want.. I absolutely detest miserable usually ‘older generation’ passing comments like this.. parenting has evolved.. and they really should keep their opinions to themselves.. sending love
Please stop with the ageism. I'm nearly 70, remember the tantrums at 2 perfectly well and don't judge others. Maybe you shouldn't either.
Teadrinker11 · 17/03/2022 19:45

I'm sorry for your loss OP. You are your child's parent, how you parent your child is no one else's business. People really need to learn to mind their own business, but just ignore them. Don't engage and give them a reaction.

Hopeisnotastrategy · 17/03/2022 19:47

I am sorry for your sadness. Sending you a calm and gentle hug.

You are a strong and loving mother.

LunaTheCat · 17/03/2022 19:49

I am so sorry for the loss you have both suffered.
Your wee man is lucky to have such a wonderful and caring Mum.

NETSRIK · 17/03/2022 19:51

I judge those who feel the need to comment on others dealing with a child having a meltdown more than the person dealing with the child. They are idiots. Pay no mind to them. The fact they felt the need to comment rather than mind their own business says more about them.

DuckyNoMates · 17/03/2022 20:02

I don't know why they feel the need to comment, it's a really pointless thing to do and helps no one.

ThirdElephant · 17/03/2022 20:03

So sorry for your loss. Flowers

lastoneintown · 17/03/2022 20:04

I'm so sorry OP Flowers

Those people are idiots. Your son is so young. Such a young child needs exactly what you gave him when he was upset. He's so young and he cannot control his emotions yet. He needs his mother's reassuring presence and calm and that is what you gave him.

And this shows exactly why people need to wind their necks in. You never know what someone else is going through.

Fcuk38 · 17/03/2022 20:08

At least he’s little my 12 year old
Came off from a race and throw his helmet across the ground and swore at me because he didn’t get the result he wanted . The looks i got from
His fellow club members. He is also a grieving child, any upset is escalated due his bereavement. Fuck them i say your ten times stronger then any of those pussy judgemental parents.

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