Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Pronouns- here to stay??

189 replies

StuffLikeThat · 11/03/2022 21:32

Can I get people's thoughts on whether the act of stating your "personal pronouns" (after your name on LinkedIn or in your email signature etc) is here to stay? Is it just a fad or will this stick and just be a thing for ever more?

OP posts:
Brefugee · 17/03/2022 11:12

If anyone assumes me to be they when I've spent nearly 50 years on this earth being a she, I'd be pissed off.

But some people think we shouldn't assume gender, so i don't think it's beyond anyone's comprehension to understand that automatically not assigning an appearance-based gender to someone when you meet them is just polite. And if someone refers to you in the third person as "they" when you're not there, there is no harm. And if they do it when you are there then all you need to say is "oh, 'she' is fine" or whatever and everyone continues on their merry way.

It doesn't need to be a big fight with people getting their backs up.

Having said that. I have always worked in male dominated industries where if anyone has had even the slightest inkling when dealing with me by mail that i am a woman, my expertise and experience is questioned. It is a disadvantage to me to add "she/her" to my email sig when my email address and sign off are clearly designed (by me) to be non-revealing. (initial, surname). And this is why i won't put it in my signature.

When email etc first really took off in the world of work, we often got emails from our eastern European based staff with a "firstname, lastname (mrs)" type of sign off. It was, because i asked, because they didn't like getting emails addressed to "dear Mr x" when they were "Mrs X". It seemed important to them so i took note. But out of politeness not some weirdly pre-woke way.

I can't really get excited about it all, as long as i'm not being abused for my stance.

lastoneintown · 17/03/2022 13:00

But some people think we shouldn't assume gender, so i don't think it's beyond anyone's comprehension to understand that automatically not assigning an appearance-based gender to someone when you meet them is just polite

And many others of us don't believe that we each have an internal gender that we need to discover and announce to the world. Some of us find this a regressive and sexist idea. Some of us don't like the aggressive way this very recent ideology about gender is being imposed and the implications it has for the rest of us.

So no, I don't think the rest of us should be required 'not to assume gender' when we don't think gender exists in this way.
If someone has gender dysphoria and is seeking to transition to be perceived as the opposite sex to manage their dysphoria, I will respect that. But I don't need to respect the rest of it which seems to me to be quite clearly nothing more than a modern social phenomena with no evidence based reality behind it. People who believe in this particular notion of gender can respect and support each other. But it is absolutely not ok in a civil and free society to coerce other people to adhere to the beliefs and practices of a world view that they do not themselves hold, and may regard as harmful.

Longcovid21 · 17/03/2022 13:01

I flipping hope not. They mentioned the phrase pregnant people today on channel 5 news and something in me died a little bit. Women are not even allowed to own pregnancy now. 😭

ThatsNotMyGolem · 17/03/2022 13:26

I've told this story on here before but it bears repeating. A guy in my former workplace put "us/we/our" as his pronouns as a joke/protest. His colleague obediently used them in correspondence, and unwittingly implicated himself in a misdeed the "us/we/our" guy was being disciplined for. Utter madness.

lastoneintown · 17/03/2022 13:33

@ThatsNotMyGolem

I've told this story on here before but it bears repeating. A guy in my former workplace put "us/we/our" as his pronouns as a joke/protest. His colleague obediently used them in correspondence, and unwittingly implicated himself in a misdeed the "us/we/our" guy was being disciplined for. Utter madness.
And that is why precision in language is important!
ethelredonagoodday · 17/03/2022 13:33

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

It's a lot of bollocks and I will not participate.
Exactly my feelings on it.
tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 17/03/2022 13:38

@Wizzbangfizz

It is a hill I'm prepared to die on - totally agree about the erosion of womens rights
Budge up Whizz > wanders up hill to find a good spot, has an excellent picnic lunch for later
SartresSoul · 17/03/2022 13:39

Hope it’s a fad and hope the whole ‘non binary/ gender queer’ shit is too. DS has a teacher who uses Mx but DS said he doesn’t understand why because there’s no questioning the fact he’s a man. Big, burly and hairy apparently so why or how is he ‘non binary’? I’m not even old but just can’t buy into this bullshit. You’re a man or a woman, not in between.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 17/03/2022 14:11

As an NHS workers I have started to notice managers/matrons adding pronouns to their emails. We are currently being issued new badges and, have been told we can add our preferred pronouns. It was a big no from me and both counts.

My dd 14 gets quite angry with me when I discuss this with her, I really struggle to get my head around it. Anyway, dd said that if people are really that bothered about pronouns they will correct or inform you.

Slothtoes · 17/03/2022 21:26

OMG Golem Shock

madmomma · 17/03/2022 21:28

It's basically compelled speech, and is very bad news to kowtow to.

boyblue · 17/03/2022 23:44

Civil service it's totally normal for people to put their status in digital signature. I find it a bit unneeded as I actually don't care. I like most people. I like interesting peoples I don't really need to know how they identify.

boyblue · 17/03/2022 23:49

My DD age 12 has people asking her status. She declaring PAN. What she's actually saying is she likes people for lots of reasons regardless and no more. She's only just turned 12..

silentpool · 18/03/2022 00:35

I do not participate in this madness. I'm just waiting for someone to ask me about it and I will tell them when there is true equality for women I will publicly confirm my gender.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread