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Original poster

Pronouns- here to stay??

189 replies

StuffLikeThat · 11/03/2022 21:32

Can I get people's thoughts on whether the act of stating your "personal pronouns" (after your name on LinkedIn or in your email signature etc) is here to stay? Is it just a fad or will this stick and just be a thing for ever more?

OP posts:
MillicentFaucet · 11/03/2022 23:51

Non-binary cats are non-binary Grin

Pronouns- here to stay??
Ionlydomassiveones · 11/03/2022 23:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Joystir59 · 11/03/2022 23:57

@TeacherJen

I don’t see the harm in it. I think a lot of younger people want to show solidarity with non binary people. My friend’s son is now non binary and it took me and my husband a while to get used to saying “them” instead of “him” but if it makes them feel more comfortable. I think the point of putting “she/her” is so that the few people who put “they/them” feel less weird for specifying it if we all do it. I must say I haven’t done it on my work emails or anything but was thinking about doing it.
What does non binary mean though?
Etinoxaurus · 12/03/2022 00:04

@StuffLikeThat

So do you think that the vast majority of people who are declaring their pronouns are aware of the underlying ideology/ reasons for it... or do you think they are just naively doing it because other people are and they think it's a nice thing to do?
The latter. They’re useful idiots.
Fernandina · 12/03/2022 00:04

Thankfully, my employer would have no truck with such nonsense.

I receive loads of imcoming emails at work and to be honest, I've never noticed whether anyone puts their pronouns on or not. Not that I've ever bothered to look.

Pineapplemonkey · 12/03/2022 00:14

*That doesn’t always work.

Lucy is coming to dinner, shall I ask her what she wants to drink or will she bring her own bottle?

Lucy is coming to dinner, shall I ask Lucy what Lucy wants to drink or will Lucy bring her own bottle?

The second version is just mad and nobody talks like that. Pronouns are a necessary part of language.

I don’t have a strong opinion on this but no idea why people are so against saying “they” instead of her or she if asked to do so.*

But if you were using the first sentence, Lucy wouldn’t be party to the conversation (or you’d address her directly) and so why would it matter about a pronoun?

Who would care or even know if they had been incorrectly pronouned if they weren’t there to hear it?

I think pronouns in an email signature is no different to also including ‘I love Jesus’ and ‘I voted Brexit’, it’s unprofessional to include ideological beliefs of any kind. Plus all the stuff PP’s have pointed out obvs

Original poster
StuffLikeThat · 12/03/2022 00:19

@Pineapplemonkey I agree entirely... it's making a political statement and it's inappropriate to do so in the workplace.

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 12/03/2022 00:27

I think they are here to stay, it’s not like trans people won’t be around (actual trans people not emotionally delayed young adults fae feir whatever) I’d like them to settle to some standard usage for professional life at least (to be fair I’ve never seen anything not she / he / they are work or on linked in) and it also to be completely acceptable that they are an optional thing some people do, wiht no need for programs to try and spread the usage. Like I’m Ms but no one else has to read that as I think women using Mrs are antifeminist and oppressed, just because I’ve chosen that. Similar to email signatures saying I work in my chosen hours and my sending an email is in no way pressuring others to work outside of their chosen hours (this is better expressed where people have it in real life but I can’t remember the wording often used).

Scornedwoman67 · 12/03/2022 00:31

@DotBall

Fuck sake. Pronouns really don’t matter because you use them when THE PERSON ISN’T THERE. No offence can be caused because they are NOT PRESENT.

You can call them whatever you like. Such a load of bollcoks.

100% this.
SolasAnla · 12/03/2022 00:41

teacherJen
Lucy is coming to dinner, shall I ask her what she wants to drink or will she bring her own bottle?

Lucy is coming to dinner, shall I ask Lucy what Lucy wants to drink or will Lucy bring her own bottle?

Lucy is coming to dinner, shall I ask them what they wants want to drink or will they bring her their own bottle?

The speaker has to deconstruct the information processing element of the language and reconstruct to eliminate the casually observed biological reality.

Your brain refused to do that within your own example.

Snugglepumpkin · 12/03/2022 01:01

It's a fad & it makes people sound really stupid & entitled so just attracts contempt for being so ridiculous.

Nobody gets to dictate what other people say about them behind their back including which pronouns they get called.

Usou · 12/03/2022 01:21

Pronouns can fuck off.

Kanaloa · 12/03/2022 01:42

I think it’s here to stay. I’m at uni (mature student) and it’s huge there. Seems every first class starts with an hour long piss about where we all have to share our pronouns and a fun fact. My favourite was one teacher who asked us to just say a bit about ourselves and our hobbies. I said ‘well I have four kids and when I’m not busy with them and work I like to bid x & y.’ The teacher then went ‘your pronouns?’

I am very obviously female and I just told you I have four kids. Shall I tell you I’m white and quite short and wearing jeans and trainers?

Kanaloa · 12/03/2022 01:44

As well the only contact I have with teachers is in class (where they don’t talk about me so would be odd to call me she/her) and by email, where to are speaking directly to me in the second person. So I have no clue why it’s so important for them to know beyond a doubt that a mother of 4 is probably female.

Another thing I don’t get is why you have to say she/her/hers or he/him/his. Surely if you are she it follows that anything belonging to her will be hers. You don’t have to say all three.

AnnesBrokenSlate · 12/03/2022 01:52

It's a fad. When the funding pushing it dries up and when the inevitable Kids Club like scandals engulf the pronoun policing/pushing organisations, everyone else will remember they don't need to use them.

Pinkchicken85 · 12/03/2022 01:58

I hope it’s a fad. Just comes across as woke virtue signalling, agree with @Barrawarra

DrSbaitso · 12/03/2022 06:47

Most people don't do it, and outside of Twitter I've never seen a trans person do it. Mostly women, and one gay man.

So I think it's a fad.

PermanentTemporary · 12/03/2022 06:59

I'm in the NHS and it's getting more common - I would say a small minority at the moment. We're about to change chief executive so the incoming person could be all about inclusiveness (ie labelling people as coercively as possible).

TomPinch · 12/03/2022 07:11

Not a fad.

It's taken the place that titles used to hold, ie, Mr / Mrs / Ms and those could be used just as easily to denote gender. Pronouns have moved into the space they left vacant.

The only reason why I don't include pronouns in my email sig is because I don't think it's my business to declare my opinions on sex and gender issues, just as I also don't declare my views on religion or politics in my email sig. If using pronouns stops being that, I'll add them then.

TidyDancer · 12/03/2022 07:55

At my work, we've just had an email from comms giving advice on how to add pronouns on our internal profile. From what I can tell, it's been widely ignored. My guess is they were gauging the interest before rolling it out to our email signature.

I won't be adding anything like this either internally or externally. Like a previous poster said, this is a hill I am willing to die on. I don't subscribe to any ideological belief system (either religion or gender based) and even if I did, it wouldn't be appropriate to share in a professional setting.

SolasAnla · 12/03/2022 08:09

TomPinch
Not a fad.

It's taken the place that titles used to hold, ie, Mr / Mrs / Ms and those could be used just as easily to denote gender.

The titles Mr / Mrs / Ms are honorifics which are used as a term of respect while also informing the listeners about their social status.

What information is gained by replacing Mr / Mrs / Ms with a third party pronoun?

First whats the definition of "gender".
Lets presume "gender" is not sex, either female or male rather something about conforming to the socially weights norms if feminine and masculine.
Without being told the sex, female or male can the different genders of the humans described below be identified:
Mr Smith
Mrs Smith
Ms Smith

If we can use titles to determine the sex (female or male) why are there 3 titles for 2 human reproductive sexes?
Historically marital status in the Uk was irrelevant to the legal personhood of some of the group anyone know to whom that applies?
One of the titles is a modern adaptation why was it adapted and what social disadvantage was it designed to overcome?

xxyzz · 12/03/2022 08:10

Fad. Weird way for women to disadvantage themselves and for men to advantage themselves further.

Cheesecakeandwineinasuitcase · 12/03/2022 08:11

I think it’s really naff and a bit attention seeking. I won’t be doing it.

beastlyslumber · 12/03/2022 08:15

A woman turned up in my zoom yoga class the other day with (she/her) after her name on the screen and my first reaction was to feel nervous. We are all women in that group. It felt so weird, like she didn't want to be the same as us. Then I felt bad for feeling nervous and unsettled. It's just all so unnecessary.

PoisoningPigeons · 12/03/2022 08:17

I care not whether genderism is a fad or here to stay amongst its believers. After all, astrology and religion have been around for centuries amongst their believers.

As I don't subscribe to any of those faiths, I will not be participating, ever.