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Original poster

Can I ask if you feel happy and content with your life?

109 replies

chineseanyone · 11/03/2022 19:12

I've always wondered what it feels to be happy and content or if it's even possible.

I'm 26 with 2 DC's and I am having my third I am married. Have an ok house (new build) but very small but can't afford anything bigger yet. Not the kind of house I would like anyway.

We have a niceish car and go on holiday twice a year, eat out a lot and do nice things as a family.

These are all the things I wanted when I was younger but now I have It I couldn't give a crap about any of it really.

So it's just made me wonder really, do you feel happy and content in your life? Or do you still always feel like somethings missing or you want more?

OP posts:
crossstitchingnana · 11/03/2022 19:14

I am content. Two adult kids and dh. Like my job, enough money to do fun things but no investments or savings. Parents well and happy. Have friends. Just thinking today how happy I am.

sevensleeps · 11/03/2022 19:15

I do Smile I feel very lucky and grateful. I have a DH, DC's and a job I enjoy. No house, car, holidays or eating out though.

JammyCandy · 11/03/2022 19:18

Yes I do

I’m older than you (nearly 40) and now value time over money. Your post seems quite focussed on the material things.

The things that bring me pleasure are time with my family & few real friends (I’ve gotten rid of a lot of rubbish “friends” over the years), cycling & walking in the countryside, my garden, a good book.

I have enough money & don’t struggle financially. I could have a much flasher car, but am content with my normal family car. Likewise, I could have a more flashy house but am happy with mine.

I don’t compete on social media, and can see straight through a lot of my acquaintances who do.

Justkeepon · 11/03/2022 19:21

I get it OP, pn paper you have everything that should make you content and happy, but in reality you feel flat? I feel like this.

D0lphine · 11/03/2022 19:23

Are you depressed OP or is it your situation?

Frollop · 11/03/2022 19:26

No but it could be worse.

HeadNorth · 11/03/2022 19:26

I do. Adult children doing well, enjoying being just the two of us again with lovely DH, like my job, appreciate more home working, I live in a lovely place and I have bought a beautiful new horse. Life is good.

user1471453601 · 11/03/2022 19:26

I'm mostly happy and content. I'm retired from a good job that pays me a good pension, my only child is happy in her relationship and has a good job, my sister is fit and active, and so are my nephew and neice. I go on holiday for eight weeks a year.

yes, I'm a bit wobbly on my feet and currently seem to be allergic to goodness knows what.

The war in Ukrain and the things this government is doing, or not doing, in general, makes me furious. I do what I can, but I'm a strong believer in knowing what's in my sphere of influence (eg, giving what I can to Ukraine) and what is in my sphere of concern ( e.g. the ridiculous methods our government has put in place to not give Ukrainians visas).

So if something is firmly in the concern sphere, I keep my eyes on it in the hope that it might, some how, enter my sphere of influence. Like voting.

Scbchl · 11/03/2022 19:28

I feel happy but actively looking for a new job and desperate to move. Other than that I'm happy and content yes. What do you feel is missing?

Ringingfromthetops · 11/03/2022 19:29

Oh so much … I had a really rough ride into adult life and most recently was living in a mouldy bedsit with an ancient carpet, mould, horrible furnishings … and rats (really)

Then I met DH and my life is so much better now. Beautiful home, secure job and a DS!

PlainJaneSuperbrainthe2nd · 11/03/2022 19:33

I'm very happy and content but have lived quite a different life to you OP! I'm in my early 40s with a lovely DH and two young DCs. At your age I was living in London, partying like mad and dating unsuitable men. By the time I met DH and had kids I was so happy to stay in and have a quiet life! I have everything I want the moment* and am very grateful - I'm aware that could all change in the blink of an eye

*well I'd love an annual ski holiday, business class flights and not to have work but I'm content without!

Frollop · 11/03/2022 19:34

@Ringingfromthetops happy for you x

Original poster
chineseanyone · 11/03/2022 19:36

Aww it's so lovely read that you all feel so happy! I am lacking friends so maybe that plays a part in my happiness.

@Justkeepon yes exactly that I just can't understand it.

I'm not sure if I'm depressed or whether I've just kind of lost my self over the years. I feel like I really need to let myself go and just have some fun but I wouldn't know where to start.

Life is very repetitive school runs all week, washing cooking all becomes a bit boring after a while. I miss the old me sometimes!

OP posts:
Ohmnomnom · 11/03/2022 19:46

It sounds cheesy, but happiness really is a state of mind. I'm a single parent living in a HA property in a rundown area. We're on a low income but manage ok. I can honestly say I am very happy and grateful for what I have. All of us are healthy, dc doing well in school, and I have lots of interests and hobbies that keep me busy.

I can't say I'm content with what I have, because I'd like a better house, stable income, a partner and friends. However, those things don't bring happiness as many posters on this thread have shown. A nice house and car would definitely be welcome, but I don't need it to be happy.

flounfer · 11/03/2022 19:53

I'm happy but I do push for more if that makes sense.

Frollop · 11/03/2022 19:54

@Ohmnomnom have you always felt that way and can I ask what your interests and hobbies are?
I hope I can change my mindset to be more like yoursGrin

Recently I have been more appreciative because of what's happening in the world. I do suffer with poor MH at times though Which can affect my outlook.

flounfer · 11/03/2022 19:54

I get it OP, pn paper you have everything that should make you content and happy, but in reality you feel flat? I feel like this.

I felt like this after I had a dc, a sort of is this it, so I started a new job.

megletthesecond · 11/03/2022 19:56

Definitely not.
Lone parent with teens. One with MH issues. Every day is pretty grim.

UnvarnishedTruth · 11/03/2022 20:08

Yes. Always have been.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 11/03/2022 20:22

When I was in my 30s I really used to envy my friend' massive 5-bedroom house.

However now I'm very happy with my small three bedroom house and just think of the positives such as low council tax and energy bills.

MakingProgress2022 · 11/03/2022 20:50

Yes but it’s been a long time coming,

Abusive childhood. Abusive marriage. Has taken 3 years to start real recovery from narcissistic emotional abuse.

Now things are calm. Kids doing well. Tough financially but I manage. And if EXH pays his CMS-mandated child support next week, that will help.

Maybe OP you are a bit stuck? Maybe you need some challenge or some change? What would you like to do - a new hobby or job to meet new people and make new friends?

Ohmnomnom · 11/03/2022 21:00

@Frollop No, definitely haven't always been like this!

My hobbies are yoga and crafts. I've recently started pole fitness which I love!

Life really is all about the little things. Sometimes I will be driving along in the sunshine and will just get a feeling of pure joy and happiness just to be alive. Watching the dc sleeping happily in their beds, or sitting and looking out at a beautiful view. Self care is important such as eating well, drinking water, exercise, getting outside, meditation, etc. Setting goals and achieving them. My latest goal is to keep chickens in the back garden so I'm busy building them a coop and run! When they are here I know that will make me and the dc happy.

Taking a big step back from modern life really helped me. I don't care about fashion, latest trends, tech, or designer gear. I'm weird and quirky and feel more comfortable that way. I had a pretty shit upbringing then spent my 20s and early 30s as a people pleaser and doormat. Now I get to do my own thing with my dc and life is soooo much better!

PilatesPeach · 11/03/2022 21:08

Not really. I am successful in my career and have friends and people seem to like me but I have had no real love in my life for many many years despite being in some longterm relationships and I do feel lonely inside at times.

Ohmnomnom · 11/03/2022 21:09

Just to add, everything I said only applies if there isn't an underlying mental health issue or other disorder. My ex has ADHD and his life is a never ending chaos of bad decisions and self-sabotage. He cannot simply 'be happy' and it would take a lot of therapy, support and a monumental effort on his part to feel happy and content.

LouLou198 · 11/03/2022 23:24

In most areas of my life I am. I have a small but cosy home, a lovely family/friends, and just enough money that we don't have to worry about the bills. We are lucky to be able to afford a holiday each year (sometimes abroad, but more often in this country). Absolutely hate my job though and currently considering what to do about it!