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Original poster

Can I ask if you feel happy and content with your life?

109 replies

chineseanyone · 11/03/2022 19:12

I've always wondered what it feels to be happy and content or if it's even possible.

I'm 26 with 2 DC's and I am having my third I am married. Have an ok house (new build) but very small but can't afford anything bigger yet. Not the kind of house I would like anyway.

We have a niceish car and go on holiday twice a year, eat out a lot and do nice things as a family.

These are all the things I wanted when I was younger but now I have It I couldn't give a crap about any of it really.

So it's just made me wonder really, do you feel happy and content in your life? Or do you still always feel like somethings missing or you want more?

OP posts:
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 13/03/2022 13:49

I was crazy happy. Then my husband had an affair and I know I'll never ever be happy ever again. If I stay I wont be happy and if I leave I wont be either.

MovinOnUp · 13/03/2022 14:02

I am very happy and content.

I lead a very simple life, I rent my flat from the council but after years of the instability of private rentals and a period of 16 months of homelessness,this feels like winning the lottery.

I have a laundry list of health issues but I'm as on top of them as I can be at the moment (37 weeks pregnant)

My partner is a wonderful father to the two eldest children and we hope to get married this year after our baby arrives (25 sleeps to go)
He's also the best man I've ever met and we just enjoy each others company and after the shitshow of a first marriage I endured I can't believe my luck that we found each other.

We used to get away maybe twice a year as a couple and once a year as a family for short,city type breaks.
These won't be happening for a while between rising costs and being on maternity leave but we live in a holiday area so are happy to make the most of that with local days out.

So yeah, all in all,pretty happy with our lot.

MovinOnUp · 13/03/2022 14:04

@Bogiesaremyonlyfriend I felt that way when my first marriage ended and it's only right you feel that way now. Things will get better.

Frollop · 13/03/2022 14:10

@Bogiesaremyonlyfriend would you consider counseling? Sorry to hear of your situationFlowers. Time and support can be really helpful in healing and moving forward towards brighter days.

Frollop · 13/03/2022 14:12

@MovinOnUp lovely to hear happy outcomes like yours x

HopingForMyRainbowBaby · 13/03/2022 14:23

No

AuntFlorence · 13/03/2022 15:11

It's impossible for me to know that @Frollop

Frollop · 13/03/2022 15:34

@AuntFlorence I did think that may be the response for most people. Thanks for your update.

Sugarplumfairy22 · 13/03/2022 16:03

Yes I am very content

Comfortable 3 bed house in a nice area
New car
Happy family of 3 and a cat
Me and my husband both like our jobs
We’ve got enough money coming in to pay the bills and put food on the table.
Daughter goes swimming and brownies every week.
1 holiday a year.

The only things that would make me happier is if I lost some weight and we had a dog

But yes I’m very content

IsSpringSprangedYet · 13/03/2022 16:14

I'm certainly grateful with my lovely DC and DH - we have friends who can't have children, my sister is about to be put in a refuge with her very young children, I'm worried for my other sister with a health problem, not to mention everything that's happening in the world.

But in my own little bubble, I'd say something is missing, and I feel a bit bleurgh. I have grand plans to do this or that, and I just don't seem to get on with it and then another year has passed. So not fully content I guess.

Coffeencrochet · 13/03/2022 16:23

Some days I feel completely stressed out and like I'm spiralling, but these coincide with the days that DS isn't having a good day (ASD) and my work (WFH part time). Other days like today, I gave the DC breakfast, kept them busy while I hoovered, dusted and then showered. Followed up with a cup of tea and I've felt completely content since. My life is far from perfect - no savings, LC with my family on a phone call basis only, get along great with in laws but they live overseas, and my entire 20s passed by filled with fights, emotional manipulation and going NC with many people who were bad for me and DH mentally and financially. I'm 30 now but feel like an entire lifetime has passed me by, but I'm so at peace now having gotten through it Smile

prettyteapotsplease · 13/03/2022 16:32

Life hasn't panned out exactly as I'd wished so I wouldn't say that I'm happy with a capital 'H', but I'm reasonably content. I've a roof over my head, food in my belly and clothes on my back - but (first world problem) I often yearn for more. On balance then, I'm a little bit discontented which contradicts my previous statement. I've had more than my fair share of sadness so feel disappointed with life in general but try to put a brave face on things.

GeneLovesJezebel · 13/03/2022 16:36

No I’m not happy.
Dog ties me down, although I can’t think of her not being here. I’d like to go away without any anxiety about her.
Children all grown up, and all do is work and housework. Mind you, I cant’ think of anything I’d really like to do. I seem to have lost my spirit for adventure.

Roominmyhouse · 13/03/2022 16:43

Pretty happy with my lot right now. DH, no kids, 2 cats, one 2009 car between us. Small but nice house that means we have money available to do the things we enjoy, and with no kids the time to do it. Both WFH and although I don’t love my job, it’s fine and I work with great people. Can’t complain about my lot at all.

goofigal · 13/03/2022 16:48

It's the quality of what you have. I married early to the wrong man and moved into a tiny flat I didn't like and worked for an awful company I hated and had so called friends I stayed friends with out of loyalty because we'd known each other so long. I was miserable!

When I was 24 my mum said come home you've nothing to lose, you had nothing when you left school and you'll have a blank canvass again so I quit my job left my husband and flat and moved home.
14 years later I have a totally different life, lovely husband, 2 amazing children, job I love and some decent friends and a lovely house. Never looked back I just started over.

FairWindClearSailing · 13/03/2022 16:59

I am. 33, one DC, nice big flat, good relationship with my husband. Holidays, days out, trying for DC number 2.

I think it's important to carve out some time for just you. We make sure to give each other some time for ourselves. Dh will go to a hockey game, I'll go to a cafe and read for an hour etc. It's essential for our mental to do this once or twice a month.

Skyblueclouds77 · 13/03/2022 17:11

I have wonderful DC and two lovely little dogs, I try so hard to be happy and positive each day but I do struggle. I had emotional abuse in childhood (although not severely, it was quite subtle and underlying and it's led me to have self-esteem and confidence issues). I feel like I'm going through the motions on autopilot some days, caring for the house/kids/DH/pets but feel very empty inside at times. Hard to explain. I need to get my life back on track, lose weight, find another job, but at the moment I'm just 'coasting' to get by and everything feels like an uphill climb! I've always felt like I don't fit in anywhere and have been referred to as odd and unusual by others before which again affects my confidence. I suspect I may have Aspergers but I've never been formally diagnosed. I do have many traits though and I do find other people hard to fathom at times!! My DC are well looked after and pets so that's all I'm worried about! Need to have a serious word with myself and get motivated.

Frollop · 13/03/2022 17:46

I don't think most people would be content if they were single and didn't have a good Partner or children.

goodnightgrumble · 13/03/2022 17:48

I think it changes as you get older.
I always felt I was missing something and as I have got into my late forties I have realised this is it. I am happy with what I have and am. I have realised that I am here to experience things. Both good and bad.
I read an article which said you only live once!
Correction. You only die once but live everyday!
Try to look at all the good things you have. Cheesy but been grateful for what you have works when you work at it.

Pegasussnail · 13/03/2022 17:59

Yes in many ways. I have a husband and DC. All I ever wanted and a beautiful house. Career and achieved a lot of qualifications.
I do struggle with friendships but that's a lot better lately and am starting to form meaningful ones. I've become tougher in myself so I'm probably not as likeable (eg. Mil and SIL and my own dm are people I don't let get to me) being deliberately vague.
So yes. The main things are there. Reasonably content.

PleaseBeSeated · 13/03/2022 20:51

@Frollop

I don't think most people would be content if they were single and didn't have a good Partner or children.
I think that what women are socialised to think — unmarried, childless men are seen as enviable, free, playing the field etc, long after women of the same vintage are dubbed tragic, on the shelf spinsters doomed to die alone, eaten by their cats etc. I think the reality for women who are able to resist the social script that they’re nothing unless they’ve bagged a chap and reproduced can actually be far more interesting and fulfilling.

Certainly two of the most fulfilled and interesting female friends I have have been single as long as I’ve known them (late 80s in one case, late 90s in the other) — one is happily childfree, the other adopted a daughter who is now an adult. Both are naturally independent-minded free spirits who have chosen experiences, travel and freedom over possessions. I think both their lives are remarkable.

Frollop · 14/03/2022 19:04

@PleaseBeSeated it's true what you say. There is alot of pressure in life to achieve certain goals in life which can be unfair and unrealistic.

Your two friends sound great and are inspiring!

Although certain things are missing in how I would like my life to be I wouldn't want to settle. We are all so different so what may suit one person would not suit me. I'm thinking about a particular friend who I know wouldn't want my life and I wouldn't want hers but we are both ok in our individual situations because it works for us.

TravellingFrom · 14/03/2022 19:16

I can’t say I’m unhappy but I have no joy in my life.

I also have a chronic illness that has stolen so much from my life. I know what would make me smile, what I’d enjoy doing etc… but I can’t.

I’m looking at people who are in a much worse place than me, seemingly able to find joy in the little things and I wonder how they do it.

Having said that @chineseanyone, it sounds like you are stuck in the drudgery of ‘being a mum’ and you have lost yourself in the middle of it. From my own experience, take time for yourself. Have a couple of hours each week to do something that you enjoy, something that brings you joy. It will make all the difference.

Lightning020 · 14/03/2022 20:10

I have my ds who is now 17 and he is a joy and gives me a huge sense of purpose despite his stops and moods at times! I struggle with SADl however Feb to May each year so that mars quality of life a fair bit. I work and keep very busy. Friends are quality not quantity. Family wise no siblings as an only child and parents deceased so that's a bit crap sadly. Not into relationships any longer as a free spirit and can honestly say I feel happier and healthier for it. Even if it does offend the societal norms! I also find maturity brings more serenity and inner peace and I enjoy me time and many hobbies.

PiscesSt · 14/03/2022 20:14

Most of the time I do. I used to think material things mattered and felt inferior next to work colleagues who had more than I did. The Pandemic really made me think about what is important to me.

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