Urgent priorities are booking an appt with a solicitor specialising in family law for advice on where you stand as an unmarried couple with children. If you have heard in the grapevine of a firm who is shit hot then go with them, otherwise ask your mum (not your own friendship group) & her network for any recommendations of a SHL.
In parallel, get back in the house & stay put. Under no circumstances (until a legal order says otherwise) deny yourself & your children the security of living in the family home.
Write everything down in a big diary type notebook. Date/time stamp an entry in that for every phone call, email, chat, row, phone number, reference number, recollections as they happen everything- & keep it safe where it cannot be found. This will help you keep track of what is going on, releases the information load on your stressed mind & will also show you how far you have progressed.
MNet is full of helpful personal stories & important things to do, particularly gathering together all the information about his finances, joint finances & your own £££. Don’t ask him for anything, just get back into the house & find it, make copies & keep somewhere safe.
A very good bit of advice given was to prepare well for the solicitor appointments, keep yourself together because if you do breakdown in the appt/overwhelming blurbs, the solicitor is charging you for that time. It is a useful reminder that there are some times & some matters where you will need to be brisk & business like.
From now on, put yourself first & foremost, do nothing unless it is for your own benefit. This is turn benefits your children.
OW, obviously not a friend any more if ever she was. Put her out of your head - work on that. Any time & feelings spent on her is wasting your own precious time, energy & goodwill.
Do not play the ‘pick me’ dance. Just don’t. Go for a clean break.
He has betrayed you & says to your face that he does not love you - well, that is it!