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Original poster

She took my bloody co-op card

627 replies

HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 01:18

I’ve had a friend staying with me for the last few days, she due to go home tomorrow. As a thank you for letting her stay she offered to cook us a meal this evening which I gratefully accepted. She needed to go up to Co-Op to get the ingredients so I said to her to take my membership card if she hasn’t got one.

She went up and bought all the ingredients and cooked a really lovely meal. We had a bottle of wine with the meal but fancied another so I popped up to Co-Op again to buy another. I scan my member card like always and she’s spent all my points! There was about £30 on there that I have saved up for months. I like to know that I’ve always got a bit on there in case I’m short one month, it’s just a bit of reassurance.

If someone asked you to take their loyalty card to a shop when you had offered to cook them a meal would you assume that meant the person was offering to pay for the meal with their points? Or would you think they just wanted you to scan their card at checkout so you have a few more points?

Apologies if I’m rambling but it’s 1am, I’ve drunk a bottle of wine and I’m disproportionately pissed off that she’s spent my points!

OP posts:

burnoutbabe · 10/03/2022 09:52

@TheYearOfSmallThings

I think it was a mistake, mainly because I wouldn't have insisted someone take my coop card (if I had one) unless I wanted them to use the points. Why else would they need it?

and with tescos/Sainsburies often things are now cheaper with the card (members pricing) so using it makes sense to get discounts.

sleepylittlebunnies · 10/03/2022 09:52

Surely if your guest wanted to cook a meal to thank you for your hospitality they would want to pay for the ingredients too. If my host said to take her Co-op card and I presumed she meant to use the points to pay I would tell her that I insist on paying. If she genuinely thought you meant for her to pay with your points she should have refused anyway and the misunderstanding would have been resolved immediately.

CotswoldWoolly · 10/03/2022 09:55

This is one of those Mumsnet posts where some of the replies make me wonder how do some people have friends at all, they’re so reactionary!
I can definitely see there may have been ambiguity there. I probably would have said ‘it’s a bit cheeky, but would you mind putting the points on my card’ - ‘here’s my card’ could be interpreted as here’s my card, use it to pay.
Unless you ask your friend, you won’t know. She may be mortified that she’s got the wrong end of the stick. But you won’t know unless you ask her. And could lose a friend if you let resentment build up over what could very well be a genuine mistake.

Interested in this thread?

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General shopping

veevee04 · 10/03/2022 09:56

@burnoutbabe coop don't really do the large discounts like Tesco or Nectar card. It's literally like 25p on a few items you probably don't want to buy. I only use it to collect points then spend the balance I think it's a misunderstanding.

thegreylady · 10/03/2022 09:59

I use all my Co op points towards the Octopus bill so there aren’t any on the card. They aren’t like Nectar points anyway. I thought you just got vouchers.

Favourodds · 10/03/2022 09:59

I think you inadvertently implied “don’t worry about paying, I’ve got lots of points on my card so use them instead”.

I agree with this. I don't know how a co-op card works but if someone is giving you their bank card, it's so you can use it to pay for things. Maybe she just extrapolated.

You definitely should have said 'oh, if you're going to co-op, can you collect the points for me' - I'm not sure it's a completely normal thing to do? I mean, I have a normal amount of social interactions and noone's ever given me their loyalty card...

veevee04 · 10/03/2022 10:00

I think it's also CF to insist someone takes the card to collect points on their behalf.

bigknickersbigknockers · 10/03/2022 10:00

sounds like a misunderstanding to me.

melj1213 · 10/03/2022 10:01

I would never assume someone meant "use my points to pay" if they offered me their loyalty card for somewhere.

I have loyalty cards for most places (I have the Stocard app on my phone so I don't have to carry the physical cards around and I always have my phone anyway) so there's been plenty of times when I've been out with someone at say Costa when they haven't got a loyalty card so I will scan mine as it costs them nothing but gets me a few extra loyalty points.

If someone was staying with me and went to the co-op across the road I would do as the OP did and ask them to take my card to collect the points that would otherwise go to waste. If someone I was staying with offered me theor loyalty card for somewhere I would also assume they meant for me to use it to collect points not spend them unless they explicitly said something like "Oh if you're going to the co-op, take my card. I have some points that need to be used so you might as well take it off the bill"

Halllyup17 · 10/03/2022 10:02

So you were expecting her to pay for the ingredients but you get the benefit of the points? Sorry, but I think that's cheeky. You offered her the card and I would also assume that meant she could spend your points. I don't think she's done anything wrong.

Mybestyear · 10/03/2022 10:03

[quote HollowedOut]@Mybestyear I walk the dc to school[/quote]
Apologies and no offence meant - just “school run” in my head is driving DC to school.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 10/03/2022 10:03

Maybe it's just me being too 'British' about it, but I would feel a bit cheeky asking somebody without their own to take my card so that I could benefit from their points - even though the points would otherwise go to waste. I suppose it's also asking them to remember to do something extra that they aren't used to doing - at least in that shop.

I would hesitantly proffer it with a "Could I ask a favour....?" I would most definitely not be forthright in thrusting it at them and saying "Here, use MY card!"

bubblesbubbles11 · 10/03/2022 10:04

""Here, take my loyalty card" is not clear, imo."

You think "hmm, looking forward to this mean which my guest has kindly offered to cook for me but wait, where is she going to shop? ah! the Co-op - where I purposefully go all the time to buy food and get points - quick - the food she buys can get me more points"
You say "here is my co-op card"

She thinks "here is my co-op card? what does that mean? I can spend the points? Or (more dishonestly) she thinks "she wants me to scan it at the till? OK" but when your guest gets to the till the till keeper says "you have £30 in points do you want to use points?" and in the moment she thinks - yeah that makes sense now.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 10/03/2022 10:08

To collect the points from the shopping on OP 's card that over time add up to £30?

Over a long, long time it adds up. But one shop? I wouldn't be rushing to ask someone to use my card just to clock up a few pennies.

FlippyFloppyFlappy · 10/03/2022 10:08

"School run" has always meant the journey to school, whether walked or driven 🤷🏼‍♀️
I definitely think there's been crossed wires in what the card was intended for.
I'd cringe too much to ask for the money back.

bumblingbovine49 · 10/03/2022 10:09

If you had given me your card in that instance, I absolutely would think you were offering for me to use the card, it would never have occurred to me that you would want me to put the points of my shopping on your card.

However I would have refused the card and said that I was paying when you gave me the card and at that point you would probably have explained what you wanted me to do with the card but I can completely see how this misunderstanding might happen

rookiemere · 10/03/2022 10:12

I try to assume good intent from my friends. It's nicer than thinking they're all out to rip you off. Seems like an innocent mistake to me.

MrsHumphrieswife · 10/03/2022 10:12

so I said to her to take my membership card if she hasn’t got one

OP said this. Which makes it clear she is not offering to pay.

OP also said that she uses the points if she is short of money one month which means she is not rolling in cash, which her friend presumably would be aware of.

Its cheeky fuckery of the highest order to get someone to pay for their own gift, which the gift giver is also eating for free.

I really think people are being over generous to the friend. She saw an opportunity to get out of paying and grasped it with both hands.
Only a cheeky tight fucker would do that.

MrPenguinsPoppers · 10/03/2022 10:13

I used to work at our local Co op (a horror I never wish to repeat but that’s for another thread)

We were told to ask the customer two things at checkout, did they want a receipt as part of the paper saving thing they had going on, and if we could see the customer had accrued a reasonable amount of points, did they want to spend them.

Slightly surprised you’re not asked this yourself every time you go in OP.

worriedatthistime · 10/03/2022 10:13

You can tell the priviledged on here as usual
Its £30 suck it up - thats a lot of money to many
I wouldn't ask someone to put points on my card - why what difference does it make the points go wasted otherwise, i have been shopping with friends and use their card to add points if i buy in a shop i don't have a card and it can help someone , again people collect the points to help get buy in many ways

ComeUnderMySexBlanket · 10/03/2022 10:14

I'm in the 'misunderstanding' camp.

Though it does remind me that I once went to Costa with a friend. I paid for us both, and she presented her loyalty card before I could get mine out, so I'm a bit unkeen on people piggy-backing off others to increase their own loyalty points total!

FlippyFloppyFlappy · 10/03/2022 10:14

I've never been in a Co-Op in my life, I wouldn't have a clue what the card was for (although I'd have clarified with my friend what it was for).

RandomBasic · 10/03/2022 10:14

@Weatherwax13

If she specifically said the meal was a Thankyou then of course she should've paid for the ingredients. You had dinner thinking what a lovely gesture. And then found out you bloody paid for it! The PP who said "it's only £30, suck it up" clearly didn't read what you said about saving the points for if you're short one month £30 isn't mere pocket change for everyone. She may have honestly thought you didn't mind her using the points but surely you'd think "I won't do that though, as this is meant to be my treat"

This. It's like someone buying you a gift, then finding out they paid for it and with your card.

FlippyFloppyFlappy · 10/03/2022 10:14

Oh that Costa friend is cheeky 😳

veevee04 · 10/03/2022 10:16

@MrsHumphrieswife