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Original poster

She took my bloody co-op card

627 replies

HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 01:18

I’ve had a friend staying with me for the last few days, she due to go home tomorrow. As a thank you for letting her stay she offered to cook us a meal this evening which I gratefully accepted. She needed to go up to Co-Op to get the ingredients so I said to her to take my membership card if she hasn’t got one.

She went up and bought all the ingredients and cooked a really lovely meal. We had a bottle of wine with the meal but fancied another so I popped up to Co-Op again to buy another. I scan my member card like always and she’s spent all my points! There was about £30 on there that I have saved up for months. I like to know that I’ve always got a bit on there in case I’m short one month, it’s just a bit of reassurance.

If someone asked you to take their loyalty card to a shop when you had offered to cook them a meal would you assume that meant the person was offering to pay for the meal with their points? Or would you think they just wanted you to scan their card at checkout so you have a few more points?

Apologies if I’m rambling but it’s 1am, I’ve drunk a bottle of wine and I’m disproportionately pissed off that she’s spent my points!

OP posts:
PointersPlease · 10/03/2022 10:16

OP Im more worried about you saying "I'm terrible with money". What do you mean?

RandomBasic · 10/03/2022 10:16

@TheYearOfSmallThings

To collect the points from the shopping on OP 's card that over time add up to £30?

Over a long, long time it adds up. But one shop? I wouldn't be rushing to ask someone to use my card just to clock up a few pennies.

The cards also give discounts. To many, a 50p discount is worth something.
RockinHorseShit · 10/03/2022 10:16

She's a thieving Cheeky Fucker. Confront her.

"Friend, did you accidentally use up all of my £30 worth of coop points to buy the food you said you were going to treat me with, you do know I gave you my card to collect the points don't you"

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General shopping
worriedatthistime · 10/03/2022 10:19

@veevee04 no its not ,the friend was paying as a thank you to the op
The friend doesn't have a card so op said use hers gives OP some much needed points and friend looses nothing at all
Many people will do it to help out, you know for some people those few extra points and vouchers really add up and help out

misskatamari · 10/03/2022 10:19

So cheeky! It's not ambiguous at all! Giving someone your points card, it's obvious it's just to get the extra points. Unless you explicitly said otherwise, how would anyone take it to mean "spend all my points on your shopping!". Hopefully it was an innocent mistake, but I would have to say something, otherwise I would stew on it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/03/2022 10:19

@rookiemere

Seems like a totally innocent mistake. Just ask her but phrase it like your mistake " friend have noticed my Coop points that I keep for emergencies have all gone. This is totally my fault and super embarrassing but I must have communicated the wrong thing as I wanted to get the points from your shopping. Would it be ok for you to transfer what you spent back to me ? "
I would do this, especially as she’s double bought ingredients without checking with you first. It is very good advice.
ComeUnderMySexBlanket · 10/03/2022 10:21

@FlippyFloppyFlappy

Oh that Costa friend is cheeky 😳
😬 She is generally a CF, so I wasn't too surprised. But I didn't meet her again after that!
Branleuse · 10/03/2022 10:22

i think thats really cheeky of her, especially since youve hosted her for days, and this was presumably her doing something nice to say thankyou. I honestly cant imagine why, even if the cashier had said "do you want to take your points off the shopping" that she wouldnt have said no thanks, as it was not her card. Really bizarre if she thought that was what you meant.

Also very awkward because she will just say its a misunderstanding, which im sure it is, but a misunderstanding where you are even more out of pocket than you already were after hosting someone, is very convenient for her.
Awkward.

burnoutbabe · 10/03/2022 10:24

she has spent so much, it makes me wonder if she over spent as it was your money - at that cost i would assume a shop bought pavlova, not buying all the ingredients for it.

And buying all the spices you already have - when you ask for the money back you also need to give her the spices to take home. As she paid!

MrsHumphrieswife · 10/03/2022 10:25

@worriedatthistime

You can tell the priviledged on here as usual Its £30 suck it up - thats a lot of money to many I wouldn't ask someone to put points on my card - why what difference does it make the points go wasted otherwise, i have been shopping with friends and use their card to add points if i buy in a shop i don't have a card and it can help someone , again people collect the points to help get buy in many ways
This.
cantbecoping · 10/03/2022 10:26

The thing is she didn't ASK for the card, she disn't ASK you for money, she was going to the shop to buy the ingredients herself. YOU gave her the card and she must have automatically thought you meant..oh here there are points on this...use them not oh here use my card and gain me some extra points... I mean who does that?

WindyPopPops · 10/03/2022 10:26

That's interesting @MrPenguinsPoppers, I always hate it when people ask me if I want to spend my points. If I wanted to I, as the card holder, would ask

GatoradeMeBitch · 10/03/2022 10:28

It's cheeky fuckery to expect someone to pay and for you to collect the points.

OK, it's cheeky fuckery to want that 25p.

So what is the level of fuckery someone steals £30 from you?

FlippyFloppyFlappy · 10/03/2022 10:28

Aah ComeUnderMySexBlanket I'd have been rendered speechless 😑

drawingpad · 10/03/2022 10:29

Or the point of the thread but you must be spending so much money in the co op to be gaining all these points, I wonder if an online shop with ASDA may be cheaper in the long run and leave you with more cash at the end of each shop rather than the accumulation of points. The co op is such an expensive place to shop. Even Tesco may work better as you could have the clubcard so pay less and gain points?

drawingpad · 10/03/2022 10:29

Not the point

Original poster
HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 10:30

I’ve spoken to her and she didn’t realise she’d used my points and thought Co-op had messed up as they only charged her £7! She seemed pretty embarrassed but despite much heavy hinting from me she hasn’t yet offered to give me the £30 back.

I’m curious as to why so many posters think it is cheeky to ask someone to use their loyalty card if the person paying doesn’t have one of their own. I’m not taking anything away from them by asking them, the points wouldn’t go to anyone else and it doesn’t stop them getting discounts or anything. It probably is a bit daft to ask someone to do it when it’s only like another 25p in points or something but, like I said in my OP, I like collecting them and knowing I’ve got a bit on there for a rainy day.

OP posts:
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 10/03/2022 10:30

I would never expect someone to accrue points on my behalf, except someone within my nuclear family. It's cheeky!

You handed her your points card as if it was a debit card. Had it been the latter, the message would have clearly been 'buy the groceries on me'. Your friend made an assumption but she wasn't wrong to do so. You were incorrect to not spell out why you were giving her your points card.

Original poster
HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 10:31

@drawingpad I love rurally and Co-op is the only shop within walking distance. The only supermarkets that deliver here are Tesco and Sainsbury’s and they’ve both buggered up my orders so many times that it’s easier just to pop into Co-op on the way back from the school run everyday.

OP posts:
MrsHumphrieswife · 10/03/2022 10:32

It's cheeky fuckery to expect someone to pay and for you to collect the points

No, its not. OP checked her mate didn't have her own card first. Which also meant it was clear she was not offering to pay.

Note her friend also didn't fess up to the Coop for massively undercharging her.

Thiis is just someon e who wants to get awawy with paying

Original poster
HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 10:33

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 I had assumed the fact that I’d checked whether she had a card first meant she’d realise that I was asking her to collect points for me. I didn’t realise lots of people don’t use loyalty cards at all.

OP posts:
Pumpkinstace · 10/03/2022 10:33

@HollowedOut

I’ve spoken to her and she didn’t realise she’d used my points and thought Co-op had messed up as they only charged her £7! She seemed pretty embarrassed but despite much heavy hinting from me she hasn’t yet offered to give me the £30 back.

I’m curious as to why so many posters think it is cheeky to ask someone to use their loyalty card if the person paying doesn’t have one of their own. I’m not taking anything away from them by asking them, the points wouldn’t go to anyone else and it doesn’t stop them getting discounts or anything. It probably is a bit daft to ask someone to do it when it’s only like another 25p in points or something but, like I said in my OP, I like collecting them and knowing I’ve got a bit on there for a rainy day.

Is not cheeky, it's logical.
vampirewellness · 10/03/2022 10:36

How the fuck does the ingredient for a curry and pavlova cost £37?!

Are you sure she didn't get herself a cheeky bottle of vodka?

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 10/03/2022 10:38

I’ve spoken to her and she didn’t realise she’d used my points and thought Co-op had messed up as they only charged her £7!

It's odd that she didn't challenge it. If it had been self-checkout I wouldn't want to be stopped if it were a mistake. If a cashier was involved then I'm surprised she didn't mention it to her.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 10/03/2022 10:38

It was very ambiguous and I can't understand why you wouldn't say "If you don't have a Co-op loyalty card, could you please take my card and get your points put on it, so that they don't go to waste".

'Use my card' could reasonably mean several things, including 'use it to pay'. She might have thought you were doing a Mrs Doyle-style compromise and saying "OK, then, we'll gratefully accept your cooking our meal - but we insist on paying for the ingredients".

^ This. It wouldn't occur to me to give my card over to a friend to get the points. Very very occasionally I've got DH to take my Nectar point card if he says he's calling into Sainsburys but that's it. £30 is a lot of money but maybe the friend saw it as spending saved up points for a treat for the two of them, not using the OP's emergency money. Only the OP knows if the friend has form for this.