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Original poster

She took my bloody co-op card

627 replies

HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 01:18

I’ve had a friend staying with me for the last few days, she due to go home tomorrow. As a thank you for letting her stay she offered to cook us a meal this evening which I gratefully accepted. She needed to go up to Co-Op to get the ingredients so I said to her to take my membership card if she hasn’t got one.

She went up and bought all the ingredients and cooked a really lovely meal. We had a bottle of wine with the meal but fancied another so I popped up to Co-Op again to buy another. I scan my member card like always and she’s spent all my points! There was about £30 on there that I have saved up for months. I like to know that I’ve always got a bit on there in case I’m short one month, it’s just a bit of reassurance.

If someone asked you to take their loyalty card to a shop when you had offered to cook them a meal would you assume that meant the person was offering to pay for the meal with their points? Or would you think they just wanted you to scan their card at checkout so you have a few more points?

Apologies if I’m rambling but it’s 1am, I’ve drunk a bottle of wine and I’m disproportionately pissed off that she’s spent my points!

OP posts:
RightOnTheEdge · 10/03/2022 17:28

However, I would just instinctively see it as someone wanting something for nothing. Maybe my calculation is: it costs me nothing, she knows it costs me nothing so even though she benefits she won’t reciprocate.
I really can't imagine being this mean!

I don't work for Co-op but I really recommend their card. I don't use them for my main shop but I grab a couple of things from there sometimes because it's next to my work.
The point add up pretty quickly and it's really easy to use them to pay for your shopping. I do the same as OP and save them for a rainy day, it really helped me in January when I was a bit skint and I'd saved up £30 worth. You can can also choose a charity or cause to support. One month it went to my dc's primary school.

Batceanera · 10/03/2022 17:40

She has spent your money, I would be surprised and annoyed. I would also have said something.

Sounds like she knows you've paid and isn't bothered. I would reconsider the friendship and cool off.

WhatWhatWhatAgain · 10/03/2022 17:41

Because it cost me nothing. It’s a tiny favour. It’s unlikely to crop up in reverse. It’s just not something it would occur to me to ask anyone else to do.
I suppose it’s a bit like a ‘while you’re up’ sort of request.
I mean I would realise I was being irritable and maybe not rational. I probably wouldn’t show my feelings, and I would do it especially as a guest, but it would make me feel irritated. Sorry.
I thought I would attempt to engage with the question.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General shopping
BlueOverYellow · 10/03/2022 17:42

She's not a dimwit; she knew exactly what she was doing.

You're a doormat and she knows it. Hence you also cleaned up her shocking mess after her 'treating' you (not!) to a home cooked meal on her (not!).

funkylittleboatrace · 10/03/2022 17:43

I didn’t know you could even do this I thought you had to wait for the vouchers to arrive. Is there a option on the self scan machines ?

Batceanera · 10/03/2022 17:44

I thought this was going to be a lighted hearted thread about your friend taking your card home by mistake. Using money you have saved up is not on, it is not voucher. She will have needed to ask about the balance to spend it. Cheeky cah.

I would never spend someone else's loyalty points. I have friends and one of my sisters that always ask for me to scan their cards - fine with me.

Original poster
HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 18:06

@funkylittleboatrace yes, you just scan your card at the self check out before you pay. Then when you click the payment options the amount you’ve saved will be one of the options to select. I don’t think I’ve ever received co-op vouchers but I’m not entirely certain I’ve ever actually registered my card. You can also select a local charity that will get money every time you spend too. Not sure how much the charities receive though.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 10/03/2022 18:15

@Dixiechickonhols

But giving the card to friend was potentially saving friend money plus op gets a few pennies added to card. It also triggers offers and coupons you can spend immediately eg free bar of chocolate or £1 off x product. I wouldn’t see as grabby. Tesco is obviously more blatant example with 2 prices displayed but anywhere with a loyalty card is same type of thing.
Exactly and increasingly COOP advertises two prices too
SleepingStandingUp · 10/03/2022 18:24

[quote WhatWhatWhatAgain]@crunchermuncher
Yes, if it’s not a mutually beneficial relationship, if I feel I’m being ripped off then I can’t stand it.
I would suspect someone willing to ask that favour would be willing to ask for others. If it made them feel beholden then they probably wouldn’t ask.
I find this more interesting than the original question.[/quote]
So you keep tallly on everything in all your friendships??

I had a lot of free Starbucks on my APP. DH usually pays, he doesn't have an app, I get his points. I invited my friend for coffee and used two free vouchers. No one is beholden to anyone. DH knows he could just get the App himself and he could go up and fetch the drinks. DFriend is skint atm so appreciates it, she might reciprocate at some point or she might not. It doesn't matter. The drinks didn't cost me anything and it was nice to treat her. That's how friendship works not "well she got a £3.75 drink from me so if she buys cake next time she better buy me and DH AT HOME one to equal that amount.

WhatWhatWhatAgain · 10/03/2022 18:42

*So you keep tallly on everything in all your friendships??”

Not an exact tally, but I’m not the only person ever to be hurt by a lack of reciprocity. Friendship should be mutually beneficial in some way. I once had a friend who genuinely thought it was further for her to drive to my house than for me to drive to hers, you can guess how much she reciprocated lifts or anything else. I am suspicious of people who readily ask for favours.
I’m trying to rationalise and maybe I’m wrong about what exactly causes my irritation. Others on here obviously feel much more strongly, but I don’t think anyone else has tried to explain.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/03/2022 19:03

@WhatWhatWhatAgain

*So you keep tallly on everything in all your friendships??”

Not an exact tally, but I’m not the only person ever to be hurt by a lack of reciprocity. Friendship should be mutually beneficial in some way. I once had a friend who genuinely thought it was further for her to drive to my house than for me to drive to hers, you can guess how much she reciprocated lifts or anything else. I am suspicious of people who readily ask for favours.
I’m trying to rationalise and maybe I’m wrong about what exactly causes my irritation. Others on here obviously feel much more strongly, but I don’t think anyone else has tried to explain.

Yes obv you're not the only one but you're engaging in the discussion. I just don't even really see it as a "favour". If it costs you nothing why does it need reciprocating? I once offered the man behind me to swipe for a Bean at Costa cos my battery was dead. I'll never see him again

Yes if you're always making an EFFORT then it's different but we're talking holding a card up to be swiped and you're talking about well why would you if she's likely to never reciprocate?

sweetbellyhigh · 10/03/2022 19:15

@BlueOverYellow

She's not a dimwit; she knew exactly what she was doing.

You're a doormat and she knows it. Hence you also cleaned up her shocking mess after her 'treating' you (not!) to a home cooked meal on her (not!).

What a harsh and ignorant post. Exactly what is the point of it other than for you to offload some of your considerable stash of bitterness? Why are people so ignorant!
BlueOverYellow · 10/03/2022 19:18

Seriously? The Coop shops I shop in regularly NEVER use the points on the card for shopping unless (a) asked or (b) asking if you want to if there are a lot of them. Never. Store policy.

So she either asked to use the points (£s) or was asked if she wanted to spend OP's money on the card.

sweetbellyhigh · 10/03/2022 19:26

The thing is OP, her intention was good. She collected £37 worth of ingredients to cook for you and fully intending to pay for them. She can't have known if you had any credit on the card.

She obviously wasn't familiar with the system and did not understand she had spent your money. I can follow this line.

It's disappointing that when you spoke to her she didn't offer to pay though, and I have to wonder what was going through her head.

Tbh the making of a huge mess in the kitchen and expecting you to clean up would have irritated me. I mean, who does that? Ok men do but women are usually more considerate.

WhatWhatWhatAgain · 10/03/2022 19:32

“I once offered the man behind me to swipe for a Bean at Costa cos my battery was dead. I'll never see him again”

Random acts of kindness like this or giving away an unexpired parking ticket aren’t really relevant. I would feel good about giving away an unexpired parking ticket to a random stranger, but if someone asked me for it I would feel miserable.

sweetbellyhigh · 10/03/2022 19:40

@BlueOverYellow

Seriously? The Coop shops I shop in regularly NEVER use the points on the card for shopping unless (a) asked or (b) asking if you want to if there are a lot of them. Never. Store policy.

So she either asked to use the points (£s) or was asked if she wanted to spend OP's money on the card.

Seriously. Your posts are ignorant and rude.
gumball37 · 10/03/2022 19:57

Did she at least leave the spices at your place?

BlueOverYellow · 10/03/2022 20:16

No, they really aren't.
I know too many people that religiously save their points to spend it on their Christmas food shops. It's how they afford the 'extras' at Christmas. She essentially stole from the OP. There's no chance she doesn't understand this.

crunchermuncher · 10/03/2022 20:49

@WhatWhatWhatAgain

Because it cost me nothing. It’s a tiny favour. It’s unlikely to crop up in reverse. It’s just not something it would occur to me to ask anyone else to do. I suppose it’s a bit like a ‘while you’re up’ sort of request. I mean I would realise I was being irritable and maybe not rational. I probably wouldn’t show my feelings, and I would do it especially as a guest, but it would make me feel irritated. Sorry. I thought I would attempt to engage with the question.
I understand being annoyed at one sided relationships, like the friend who never wants to drive to your house but expects you to drive.

What I can't understand is, in this specific scenario, where you don't want/ can't collect the points, why shouldn't someone else have them? You are doing something nice for them but its not 'a favour', it has not put you out at all. It literally costs you nothing.

If they expected to take you points inserted of you being able to collect them yourself that would be completely different.

Original poster
HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 20:54

@BlueOverYellow I’ve never had them take points off without asking either, they don’t even normally offer. It’s not an easy mistake to make on the self checkout either as you have to physically select the points as your payment option.

OP posts:
BlueistheNewme · 10/03/2022 20:56

I haven’t read the whole thread, but this is on Wales Online news paper.

crunchermuncher · 10/03/2022 20:59

Guess nothing has happened in Wales today then Grin

Butchyrestingface · 10/03/2022 21:01

@BlueistheNewme

I haven’t read the whole thread, but this is on Wales Online news paper.
Wales has the internet??

Sorry, couldn't resist. Blush

I particularly appreciate the fact that "It's £30. Suck it up." made the press such as it is.

BlueistheNewme · 10/03/2022 21:02

I know, nothing else major going on in the world is there!