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Original poster

She took my bloody co-op card

627 replies

HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 01:18

I’ve had a friend staying with me for the last few days, she due to go home tomorrow. As a thank you for letting her stay she offered to cook us a meal this evening which I gratefully accepted. She needed to go up to Co-Op to get the ingredients so I said to her to take my membership card if she hasn’t got one.

She went up and bought all the ingredients and cooked a really lovely meal. We had a bottle of wine with the meal but fancied another so I popped up to Co-Op again to buy another. I scan my member card like always and she’s spent all my points! There was about £30 on there that I have saved up for months. I like to know that I’ve always got a bit on there in case I’m short one month, it’s just a bit of reassurance.

If someone asked you to take their loyalty card to a shop when you had offered to cook them a meal would you assume that meant the person was offering to pay for the meal with their points? Or would you think they just wanted you to scan their card at checkout so you have a few more points?

Apologies if I’m rambling but it’s 1am, I’ve drunk a bottle of wine and I’m disproportionately pissed off that she’s spent my points!

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 10/03/2022 15:13

Op, That stinks.
Id have thought you meant to have added the points!

whynotwhatknot · 10/03/2022 15:13

She spent 37 pounds on one meal? thats some peoples weekly food shop

i think she shold have offered it back

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/03/2022 15:15

OMG, are people still going on about collecting the points?

IF I have a loyalty card for a shop, I will use that card myself. IF I'm shopping with or for someone else, and I don't have a loyalty card for that shop but they DO, then I will offer to swipe their card for them so that THEY get the points for the cost of the shopping. It's no skin off my nose to do that, I wouldn't get the points anyway!

I go shopping with my sister in the UK. She has a Nectar card (or had, it's been a while) - I don't. I buy the shopping, she swipes her Nectar card, she gets the points, hurrah! What the fuck is wrong with that?!

I can't believe that people think that's in any way "wrong", or "cheeky" or "excessive" or any of the other shaming language used!

Interested in this thread?

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General shopping
SpeckledlyHen · 10/03/2022 15:34

@Butchyrestingface

I do it all the time, I always check if they’ve got a loyalty card first though as I’d consider it cheeky to ask someone to do it if they had their own.

Is this a thing? As I said up thread, I don't have loyalty cards. It feels cheeky and grabby to me to be routinely asking friends and family to collect points for you on their purchases.

But as I'm obviously so out of the loop, prepared to be told this is totes de rigueur.

I think in the main it would seem a bit odd to use someone else's loyalty card, they don't yield much. But the co op one actually add's up real hard cash that you can see and use it to pay for shopping. It's quite generous and amazing how quickly it adds up. If I knew someone was going to co op to get a large ish shop I would probably say to take my card also. I wouldn't bother with most other cards but this one I would. I like the OP am a rural dweller and a hell of a lot of my shopping comes from the little co op, you would be amazed how many times you find it has miraculously totalled to quite a lot of money. Very handy to have as a back up if things get a bit short towards the end of the month financially.
Lunificent · 10/03/2022 15:37

I think it’s fine to ask someone to use your loyalty card but I think you’d need to explicitly ask, “Would you mind taking my card and collecting my points for me?” rather than saying, “Take my card. If you haven’t got one.”

AntiHop · 10/03/2022 15:38

Hmm I think lying. She knew what she was doing. She is very, very rude.

I'd ask her straight out to pay you back.

grapewines · 10/03/2022 15:42

She's a cf who knew what she was doing. But you should have asked her for the money. People need to learn to use their words, or people like her will get away with this kind of thing.

Butchyrestingface · 10/03/2022 15:45

I think in the main it would seem a bit odd to use someone else's loyalty card, they don't yield much. But the co op one actually add's up real hard cash that you can see and use it to pay for shopping. It's quite generous and amazing how quickly it adds up. If I knew someone was going to co op to get a large ish shop I would probably say to take my card also. I wouldn't bother with most other cards but this one I would. I like the OP am a rural dweller and a hell of a lot of my shopping comes from the little co op, you would be amazed how many times you find it has miraculously totalled to quite a lot of money. Very handy to have as a back up if things get a bit short towards the end of the month financially.

That's really helpful, thank you. Smile.

declutteringmymind · 10/03/2022 15:45

I think the question here is, is the friendship worth arguing over 30 quid. And if not, be aware she is a bit cheeky

YetAnotherCupOfTea · 10/03/2022 15:47

Last time I went to Sainsburys with a small group of friends, the person paying asked around if any of us had a Nectar card before paying (they didn't, as they live abroad). Somebody did, it might have been mine, or it might have been somebody else's, I don't remember. But it was a total non event. Just somebody making sure points didn't go to waste if they mattered to a friend.

My DM scans her IKEA card if we go together, while I use my Co-op card if she goes to the Co-op with me.

I have friends who have loyalty cards I don't, and vice versa. We usually check if we're together when a shop is visited.

It's really not abnormal, is it?

DameHelena · 10/03/2022 15:53

It wasn't cash, it was store credit
As the OP has pointed out, it adds up to/equals £30 in the sense that she will use it like money to buy food if and when she's a bit short.

She didn't ask for the card nor would she have known there was any money on it
But she knew it was 'a bit cheap' when she only got charged £7 for all her shopping. And the OP has asked her about it since, and she's just laughed it off.

Anyone who thinks she's not been a chancer is either a bit dense, or as much of a chancer as her.

2bazookas · 10/03/2022 16:14

CF!! I'd have to ask her to refund the card points.

plantingandpotting · 10/03/2022 16:17

I'd 100% send a follow up text saying did you get home ok? / so nice to see you after so long etc etc. These are my bank details, send that 30 quid when you can please.

billy1966 · 10/03/2022 16:18

@LaurenKelsey

I’ve read through all 16 pages of this thread but I’ll still go ahead and throw in my thoughts. 1.Friend believed she was massively undercharged by the Co-Op but chose not to say anything. 2.Friend (likely) looked at the receipt to see why she was undercharged but chose not to tell you about your points being used. 3.When confronted about using your points, friend STILL chose not to make it right. This adds up to a CF who isn’t trustworthy. I’m sorry, OP. The friendship may not be over, but you’ll never see it the same way again.
Absolutely this.

Some of the comments on here excusing absolute dishonesty from the OP's house guest are just extraordinary.

100% dishonest

For people to say the OP is grabby is beyond ridiculous.

Unfortunately you have seen your friend for who she is, dishonest, mean, and selfish to leave such a bloody mess when she was a guest in your home.

You sound like such a lovely generous woman.
How disappointing that your friend has shown herself to be such a tacky CF.

Flowers
Abaababa · 10/03/2022 16:19

What a CF! Especially when she clearly realised it was an ‘error’.

I wish you had asked her outright for your £30 back. What would have been the harm, it’s not like you’re going to be friends after this…

Nothing wrong with asking a guest to use your loyalty card, esp if they don’t have one.

crunchermuncher · 10/03/2022 16:30

@YetAnotherCupOfTea

Last time I went to Sainsburys with a small group of friends, the person paying asked around if any of us had a Nectar card before paying (they didn't, as they live abroad). Somebody did, it might have been mine, or it might have been somebody else's, I don't remember. But it was a total non event. Just somebody making sure points didn't go to waste if they mattered to a friend.

My DM scans her IKEA card if we go together, while I use my Co-op card if she goes to the Co-op with me.

I have friends who have loyalty cards I don't, and vice versa. We usually check if we're together when a shop is visited.

It's really not abnormal, is it?

Not abnormal at all! Why wouldn't you do this? The friend wouldn't get any points as she didn't have a card. Why is it grabby for the OP to ask for them?

Why would you knowingly waste a thing that could help out someone else rather than gladly give it to them? That's just mean and petty.

Whatamesssss · 10/03/2022 16:33

Don't you have to request the cashier to use the points? I have always had to ask to redeem any points, never have they automatically taken them off my bill. She is a CF.

ABitBesotted · 10/03/2022 17:02

@Whatamesssss

Don't you have to request the cashier to use the points? I have always had to ask to redeem any points, never have they automatically taken them off my bill. She is a CF.
If you were using self-service, you could click to use the points. But it means clicking many times, first to swipe the card, then to use your credit points, then confirm. It couldn't be done accidentally.
WhatWhatWhatAgain · 10/03/2022 17:02

Not abnormal at all! Why wouldn't you do this? The friend wouldn't get any points as she didn't have a card. Why is it grabby for the OP to ask for them?

Why would you knowingly waste a thing that could help out someone else rather than gladly give it to them? That's just mean and petty.

I wouldn’t refuse, and if it were family and we were actually in the shop together then it would be ok. I also realise that many, maybe most people think like you. However, I would just instinctively see it as someone wanting something for nothing. Maybe my calculation is: it costs me nothing, she knows it costs me nothing so even though she benefits she won’t reciprocate.

Catflapkitkat · 10/03/2022 17:04

They usually ask if you want to use your points - how else would you amass 30 quids worth over time.

A previous poster said is it worth loosing a friend over 30 quid. It's not money, the underhand sneaky way she did it. Being undercharged by 30 quid and not saying anything - come on. Keeping her purse shut when you told her what happened and hinted for reimbursement. She is a CF alright. It's not about loosing a friendship over 30 quid it's about a different set of values. OP would never do that to her and smug friend thinks she got away with it - that's your friendship loss.

crunchermuncher · 10/03/2022 17:16

@WhatWhatWhatAgain

Not abnormal at all! Why wouldn't you do this? The friend wouldn't get any points as she didn't have a card. Why is it grabby for the OP to ask for them?

Why would you knowingly waste a thing that could help out someone else rather than gladly give it to them? That's just mean and petty.

I wouldn’t refuse, and if it were family and we were actually in the shop together then it would be ok. I also realise that many, maybe most people think like you. However, I would just instinctively see it as someone wanting something for nothing. Maybe my calculation is: it costs me nothing, she knows it costs me nothing so even though she benefits she won’t reciprocate.

So youre essentially saying that even though its no skin off your nose, you only do things for other people if you benefit?
TheReddestJohansson · 10/03/2022 17:19

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

OMG, are people still going on about collecting the points?

IF I have a loyalty card for a shop, I will use that card myself. IF I'm shopping with or for someone else, and I don't have a loyalty card for that shop but they DO, then I will offer to swipe their card for them so that THEY get the points for the cost of the shopping. It's no skin off my nose to do that, I wouldn't get the points anyway!

I go shopping with my sister in the UK. She has a Nectar card (or had, it's been a while) - I don't. I buy the shopping, she swipes her Nectar card, she gets the points, hurrah! What the fuck is wrong with that?!

I can't believe that people think that's in any way "wrong", or "cheeky" or "excessive" or any of the other shaming language used!

Agree 100%.

WTAF is up with people on this thread??

WhatWhatWhatAgain · 10/03/2022 17:22

@crunchermuncher
Yes, if it’s not a mutually beneficial relationship, if I feel I’m being ripped off then I can’t stand it.
I would suspect someone willing to ask that favour would be willing to ask for others. If it made them feel beholden then they probably wouldn’t ask.
I find this more interesting than the original question.

Original poster
HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 17:24

@WhatWhatWhatAgain why do you think I wouldn’t reciprocate?

OP posts:
GameofPhones · 10/03/2022 17:27

I am guessing the friend hasn't twigged that the points mean real money, and thinks any loss is to the Coop, not her friend.