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Original poster

She took my bloody co-op card

627 replies

HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 01:18

I’ve had a friend staying with me for the last few days, she due to go home tomorrow. As a thank you for letting her stay she offered to cook us a meal this evening which I gratefully accepted. She needed to go up to Co-Op to get the ingredients so I said to her to take my membership card if she hasn’t got one.

She went up and bought all the ingredients and cooked a really lovely meal. We had a bottle of wine with the meal but fancied another so I popped up to Co-Op again to buy another. I scan my member card like always and she’s spent all my points! There was about £30 on there that I have saved up for months. I like to know that I’ve always got a bit on there in case I’m short one month, it’s just a bit of reassurance.

If someone asked you to take their loyalty card to a shop when you had offered to cook them a meal would you assume that meant the person was offering to pay for the meal with their points? Or would you think they just wanted you to scan their card at checkout so you have a few more points?

Apologies if I’m rambling but it’s 1am, I’ve drunk a bottle of wine and I’m disproportionately pissed off that she’s spent my points!

OP posts:
BatmanOrRobin · 10/03/2022 12:42

Sorry op that's shit. Please just message and say please could you transfer me that £30 you spent only I was saving it for a rainy day. Xx

DameHelena · 10/03/2022 12:42

“I’ll pop to the shops and cook”
“Ok, take my card”
I’d have thought you were offering to pay.
What, when you were handed a loyalty card? Confused

Some people are really weird/dim.

Dumblebum · 10/03/2022 12:44

I don’t think it’s cheeky to ask her to put the points on your card if she doesn’t have one, I find the notion odd that it’s cheeky, but I do think you should have been clearer.

However I think she’s lied to you. Maybe because she did think you wanted to pay for it with the card, or maybe like me, she doesn’t use loyalty cards and genuinely didn’t realise at the point of payment

However I still think if I or anyone else had paid only seven quid you’d come straight back and say god they totally messed up and only charged me seven quid. The not mentioning it makes me think she’s lied. That and not offering the money, it’s the first thing you’d do.

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RuthW · 10/03/2022 12:47

I would take it to mean she should spend the points.

Cocomarine · 10/03/2022 12:48

@DameHelena

“I’ll pop to the shops and cook” “Ok, take my card” I’d have thought you were offering to pay. What, when you were handed a loyalty card? Confused

Some people are really weird/dim.

Indeed. If OP had said, “it’s raining, take my car”, it wouldn’t have been OK to siphon off the petrol from it!
Landedonfeet · 10/03/2022 12:49

* Indeed.*
If OP had said, “it’s raining, take my car”, it wouldn’t have been OK to siphon off the petrol from it!

How about unreasonable to use petrol already in the car?

Landedonfeet · 10/03/2022 12:49

To make the journey to collect someone for both of them

Genuine question

BOOTS52 · 10/03/2022 12:50

I would never do that and I would say it to her that you gave her the card to add points onto your card and not to use the card for the shopping as that is your emergency go to. See what she says as no point falling out over it but a bloodywell cheek of her to do that.

Bromse · 10/03/2022 12:51

I think she misunderstood you, Hollow. Had you asked her to take your Co-op card so that you would get points on what she spent, that would have been different. However she assumed you meant spend her points.

Never mind, at least she cooked you a lovely meal and that's the main thing. If a similar situation arises, make sure you are clear what to do with any loyalty card or else don't give it up.

BeKind1981 · 10/03/2022 12:55

I would be sending her a little message along the lines of 'I really hope you enjoyed your stay and thank you so much for the meal you prepared it was delicious. Let me know if you need my bank details to return that £30 as I know you wouldn't want me to pay for my own thank you meal'.

BeKind1981 · 10/03/2022 12:57

Also for those who keep going on about how the friend misunderstood - when confronted she didn't say 'Oh I thought you were offering to pay'. She said she thought the Co-op had messed up. And when corrected she still didn't offer to reimburse the money.....

mysunandstars · 10/03/2022 12:58

Thing with the Co op card is it has a button that says how many points you have, you have to press it and then again to confirm. It's right at the bottom. I would not dream of spending someone else's points 😬 don't see how there could have been any confusion.

Nat94 · 10/03/2022 13:03

As someone who doesn't use these cards i would of just handed it to the colleague and said can i use this? And thought nothing more of it if they added the points on or gave me a discount.

However i would of mentioned it to you after and offered to pay the money.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 10/03/2022 13:05

I would never use your points.

burnoutbabe · 10/03/2022 13:05

@BeKind1981

I would be sending her a little message along the lines of 'I really hope you enjoyed your stay and thank you so much for the meal you prepared it was delicious. Let me know if you need my bank details to return that £30 as I know you wouldn't want me to pay for my own thank you meal'.
yes this

its got to the stage you just need to send a polite note, spelling it out that she owes you the cash and this is how to pay. At that poiint, if she says NO, then the friendship is lost. But currently you have hinted and she (deliberately?) hasn't picked up on it. So be explicit and then take it from there.

spacehardware · 10/03/2022 13:07

It's still not really clear what's happened - OP doesn't know for sure what she actually said, the friend might have misunderstood or got in a flap at the till, or she's an arsehole. Who knows

I love mumsnet for this stuff

FairFuming · 10/03/2022 13:09

Jesus thats cheeky. I have about £15 in coop points as an emergency as it could feed us for a couple days.
Have you checked she hasn't taken the spices and leftovers home too?

SunshineCake1 · 10/03/2022 13:10

I suggest you send a message saying you need her to pay you back the £30 and give your bank details. You've nothing to lose but you can't moan about it if you can't be an adult and ask for the money.

TreatTrimTame · 10/03/2022 13:10

If she didnt have a card herself she may not have understood how they work. Our co-op staff will say "thats £42 please, do you want to use your points?" so maybe she misunderstood and misheard them. She may not realise how little "extra" she actually paid on her card. I would check with her before you accuse. (although im pretty sure she knew and is a CF)

TreatTrimTame · 10/03/2022 13:12

sorry just caught up

AnnesBrokenSlate · 10/03/2022 13:13

My mum always used to ask me to take her Tesco card if I was nipping into the Tesco beside her. But the first time she did it, she did make it clear she wanted me to put the points on it Grin

I'm sure the Co-op would have asked your friend if she wanted to spend your points but I guess she must have thought that was why you'd given her the card. I don't think she deliberately 'stole' from you but it's an expensive lesson to learn to be super clear when asking people to put points on your card.

TenoringBehind · 10/03/2022 13:14

I think it could well be a misunderstanding and it isn’t worth falling out over.

Clarice99 · 10/03/2022 13:14

@BeKind1981

I would be sending her a little message along the lines of 'I really hope you enjoyed your stay and thank you so much for the meal you prepared it was delicious. Let me know if you need my bank details to return that £30 as I know you wouldn't want me to pay for my own thank you meal'.
This is perfect!

Taking someone's loyalty card is about adding the points for the cost of the shopping not clearing the points from the account for your own personal gain.

Your 'friend' is a cheeky fucker. Either that, or she's thick. I doubt it's the latter as you'd have picked up by now if she's that dim Hmm

SpeckledlyHen · 10/03/2022 13:15

I think the thing that really jumps out to me here is the fact she admitted that she thought co op had messed up. She must have had a fairly hefty basket of shopping if it came to about £37. To be charged £7 at the till and then walking away without questioning why the bill was so low says something. Ok, if they had maybe mis scanned one or two items and the bill was a couple of quid lower you as a customer may not notice, but you would notice this massive differential. Why did the friend not query that at all? The tils you use at co op that ask you if you want to spend your points it's pretty obvious. It is one of the payment options, you have to confirm that's what you want to do, the the final balance payable by card or cash is displayed. Equally if it was a human at a til you would ask them how much you have on the card and can you spend it. This doesn't sound like a cheerful "silly me" accident to me. I am guessing as well as these are points your friend does not see them the same way as cold hard cash that she has to repay.

Butchyrestingface · 10/03/2022 13:20

I do it all the time, I always check if they’ve got a loyalty card first though as I’d consider it cheeky to ask someone to do it if they had their own.

Is this a thing? As I said up thread, I don't have loyalty cards. It feels cheeky and grabby to me to be routinely asking friends and family to collect points for you on their purchases.

But as I'm obviously so out of the loop, prepared to be told this is totes de rigueur.

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