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Original poster

She took my bloody co-op card

627 replies

HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 01:18

I’ve had a friend staying with me for the last few days, she due to go home tomorrow. As a thank you for letting her stay she offered to cook us a meal this evening which I gratefully accepted. She needed to go up to Co-Op to get the ingredients so I said to her to take my membership card if she hasn’t got one.

She went up and bought all the ingredients and cooked a really lovely meal. We had a bottle of wine with the meal but fancied another so I popped up to Co-Op again to buy another. I scan my member card like always and she’s spent all my points! There was about £30 on there that I have saved up for months. I like to know that I’ve always got a bit on there in case I’m short one month, it’s just a bit of reassurance.

If someone asked you to take their loyalty card to a shop when you had offered to cook them a meal would you assume that meant the person was offering to pay for the meal with their points? Or would you think they just wanted you to scan their card at checkout so you have a few more points?

Apologies if I’m rambling but it’s 1am, I’ve drunk a bottle of wine and I’m disproportionately pissed off that she’s spent my points!

OP posts:
Yazu · 10/03/2022 10:38

She is CF if she thought Coop messed it up undercharging her, but didnt say anything to cashier

CassandrasCastle · 10/03/2022 10:40

This is so awkward. Also, I never would have confronted the friend tbh, and those screaming SHE'S A CHEEKY FUCKER, BIN HER etc. are so...much

cantbecoping · 10/03/2022 10:40

@vampirewellness

How the fuck does the ingredient for a curry and pavlova cost £37?!

Are you sure she didn't get herself a cheeky bottle of vodka?

She got wine and a rake of spices too I think.

Interested in this thread?

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General shopping
daretodenim · 10/03/2022 10:40

She knew and now she's lying. No way she thought everything added up to £7.

By the way, I've been given someone's card before and until I read this thread I never even thought it could have been to spend the points. I just added more to it when I shopped. Why not?

CoffeeBeansGalore · 10/03/2022 10:41

Stop hinting. Say it was obviously a mistake you using my saved co op money. Here's my bank details so you can send the money over. Thanks very much.

Sconeface · 10/03/2022 10:41

CF. She knew bloody rightly what she was doing, and definitely knows now and can do something about it...but she knows she's going home today so I assume CF will get going as soon as she can. You can repay the favour next time/if you see her again, just "forget" your purse.

drawingpad · 10/03/2022 10:42

She knew and now she's lying. No way she thought everything added up to £7.

And even if she did surely she would have come back and said 'omg the shop made a mistake and we got this all so cheap' or similar

Bollindger · 10/03/2022 10:44

You need to tell her.
Look I know you said you thought they made a mistake, but the £30 is part of this months food budget and I really need it back, I don't want to fall out with you or resent you when we can't buy basics supplies at the end of the month.

WhatWhatWhatAgain · 10/03/2022 10:45

Her explanation, combined with reluctance to pay sounds a bit dubious.
I would be mildly irritated by being asked to use someone else’s loyalty card although it is difficult to explain why. Perhaps because I avoid asking favours unless really necessary. I wouldn’t refuse though and certainly would not spend the points.

billy1966 · 10/03/2022 10:46

She knows well, is now lying, and is refusing to repay you?

Oh my goodness, and she has been put up by you.

I think you need to ask her directly for the money.

If she refuses, she will have put a price on your friendship, £30.

Irrespective of her paying I would be looking at that friendship with fresh eyes.

A mean user.

Dumblebum · 10/03/2022 10:47

Yeah I’m not sure now either, if you thought they had messed up wouldn’t you say it as soon as you got home?

Cocomarine · 10/03/2022 10:49

@HollowedOut

I’ve spoken to her and she didn’t realise she’d used my points and thought Co-op had messed up as they only charged her £7! She seemed pretty embarrassed but despite much heavy hinting from me she hasn’t yet offered to give me the £30 back.

I’m curious as to why so many posters think it is cheeky to ask someone to use their loyalty card if the person paying doesn’t have one of their own. I’m not taking anything away from them by asking them, the points wouldn’t go to anyone else and it doesn’t stop them getting discounts or anything. It probably is a bit daft to ask someone to do it when it’s only like another 25p in points or something but, like I said in my OP, I like collecting them and knowing I’ve got a bit on there for a rainy day.

Stand your ground. Like fuck did she think co-op messed up. But, in saying that, she has confirmed that she was EXPECTING to pay. So hang to that, coming from her - and ask her outright, “can you transfer that £30 over?” I’d add, “do you want to take those spices home as you’re paying for them and only used a bit?”
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 10/03/2022 10:50

To be honest, this is a thread that probably wouldn't make any sense at all in five years' time - or maybe less - as actual physical cards are rapidly becoming a thing of the past, being replaced by apps. I can't see many people handing their phone over to a non-family member to take to the shop for the sake of loyalty points.

This thread reminds me of something I saw ages ago and have never forgotten, where a couple of ward nurses were on a crazy-busy shift and visibly running around non-stop, no time to go out to the canteen.

A visitor went up to them and pushed a delicious-looking pie into the hands of one of them and said, with a twinkle in her eye "Do you think you could eat this up?!" They very gratefully took it, shoved it in the microwave and then wolfed it down. Then the woman returned almost immediately afterwards and said "'Ere, is me 'usband's pie 'ot yet?" Grin

Gonnagetgoing · 10/03/2022 10:51

£37 for the ingredients including wine?! Shock

If you value the friendship like I said before I’d just split it or say can you transfer eg £20 over as I use those points?

I don’t often use my Co Op but I do sometimes for certain bits so will sign up for a card.

Nnique · 10/03/2022 10:51

I’d be so, so angry too! As the first comment said, it’s like stealing from you!!

DahliaMacNamara · 10/03/2022 10:52

I'm struggling to see how points could be used accidentally. The total on the till display must have gone up over the £30 mark when the shopping was scanned, for a start. I wonder if she told the cashier you had said to use the card, and that's how it was interpreted?

Even if OP's friend hands over the £30, it's still a loss of that financial comfort blanket that makes the difference. Cash is spent far more readily on a limited budget than shopping points.

Ohwowhoho · 10/03/2022 10:53

@HollowedOut

I’ve spoken to her and she didn’t realise she’d used my points and thought Co-op had messed up as they only charged her £7! She seemed pretty embarrassed but despite much heavy hinting from me she hasn’t yet offered to give me the £30 back.

I’m curious as to why so many posters think it is cheeky to ask someone to use their loyalty card if the person paying doesn’t have one of their own. I’m not taking anything away from them by asking them, the points wouldn’t go to anyone else and it doesn’t stop them getting discounts or anything. It probably is a bit daft to ask someone to do it when it’s only like another 25p in points or something but, like I said in my OP, I like collecting them and knowing I’ve got a bit on there for a rainy day.

Just say

Something like “Awww I’ve been saving those points for months for when I’m struggling because I know I can’t dip into those like I can with cash. Never mind, mistakes happen please can you transfer me the £30 to insert bank details and I’ll stick it in a tin so I can only use it when I need it!”

Nnique · 10/03/2022 10:53

Oh and having read your update and her explanation that seems...rather unlikely. She definitely knew and agreed to points being spent - they wouldn’t have used them without asking. That’s major CFery.

aghhinlaws · 10/03/2022 10:54

I don't think you've been clear with her. You said "take the loyalty card" where she probably thought she can use, although I wouldn't have used it even if you told me to use your points!

theremustonlybeone · 10/03/2022 10:54

She is a piss taker, for me to use my sainsbury points i have to actually ask at checkout to use them or if at self checkout click points and use them. She knew what she was doing

Nnique · 10/03/2022 10:57

It’s incredibly presumptuous, and just plain out of order, tbh, to spend someone’s loyalty points if one hasn’t been explicitly told that it’s fine to do so!

DameHelena · 10/03/2022 10:59

I don't buy that. Surely the checkout person would have asked if she wanted to use the points rather than just going ahead?

I agree you need to say something light like 'Oh, I save those points for when things are a bit tight – can you just transfer me the money and I’ll put it aside, cheers.'

thisplaceisweird · 10/03/2022 11:00

Is there any chance she just didn't understand and thought that by handing over the card you would get lots of good savings? Rather than spending your actual 'money'

PegasusReturns · 10/03/2022 11:00

Whether OP was ambiguous or not is a red herring. The friend was offering to pay for and make a meal as a thank you.

Even if OP had said here is cash please take it the friend should have responded “don’t be ridiculous, I’m paying, this is my way of saying thank you”.

Using the card under any circumstances was poor.

MrsHumphrieswife · 10/03/2022 11:01

OP its absolutely clear, especially from your update, that she is just someone who will get out of paying if she can. To act like that even to someone who has shown her such hospitality is pretty awful. She ain't no real friend.

I'd ask her directly for the money from her. I'd actually sit her down and get her to do the bank transfer there and then, if you can. Otherwise I think your chance of seeing the money again is remote.

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