Dp won't let kids leave the house because of Russian invasion

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

We live in the UK and he won't let our secondary school age kids leave the house and go to school. It is 10 minutes away so pretty local. He is usually intelligent, aware of world events and history. He used to be in the marines and is very aware of military history and stuff. You get the picture. I think the kids can go in as normal but have discussed it with him and he wont budge. So they will have more time at home now. He wants them to have the whole week off. I have said they can stay home today and we will discuss it tomorrow. After all the lockdowns....self isolation due to covid twice.
Is he crazy?

Why did you lie to the school and blame it on your kids? They aren’t I’ll your husband is and he needs help. You can’t let his illness impact their lives.

Call your gp surgery and get him some help as he won’t be able to get it for himself.

He’s in a bad way and needs help from those around him.

There's something not right here. Perhaps he has suffered some sort of trauma since he was in the milarty. I would send the child but also find support.

What do the kids think themselves, if they are secondary age? Can't they make up their own minds? If I had said something like this ds would say "don't be silly mum" and go to school.

We sat back and watched Russia’s military assemble near the border with Ukraine for a few weeks, while thinking Putin was just sabre-rattling and there was no chance he’d invade.

Well, he has invaded, and now he has threatened to use nuclear weapons. And you know what? He might well do that.

So, I wouldn’t be so quick to call fears of nuclear attack irrational.

The OP’s DH needs support to think about how to live with these fears, but I don’t think he’s crazy.

Presumably to tape up any gaps where you are sheltering to prevent fall out getting in?

But surely if you seal up well enough to prevent fall out getting in it will also prevent air getting in and everyone suffocates?

Fuck me

@Lunde

Presumably to tape up any gaps where you are sheltering to prevent fall out getting in?

But surely if you seal up well enough to prevent fall out getting in it will also prevent air getting in and everyone suffocates?

Eventually, but you would only need to shelter for 12-24 hours to avoid the worst of the fall out.

If he is worried of a Russian attack and the power of the weapons required to get to the U.K then being and home or in school will make little difference to your chances of survival, unless your home is a bunker.
I appreciate your DH previous experiences might be making him apprehensive but there needs to be some serious escalation of the Ukrainian situation before we're anywhere near these threat levels.

Eventually, but you would only need to shelter for 12-24 hours to avoid the worst of the fall out.

DH (nuclear scientist) says 24 hours to 2 weeks depending on proximity to the blast and prevailing winds.

Your husband has a problem. That is not right, send the kids to school!

Is he in contact with any of his old colleagues? Would it be helpful to talk to them?

I know enough to be worried too - but this isnt going to be over in a week. If putin goes nuclear there will be retaliation and a nuclear winter making life on earth difficult for years. Unless you have a bunker you can survive in for 4 years you may as well go about your business as normal. Pray if you feel inclined.

He's not crazy but his reaction is not helpful. He doesnt want to feel powerless, truth is that we all are. Can he take the children to and from school each day?

Does sound as though he needs medical help.

If he isn’t letting you or the children leave the house, I’d be calling the police.

Agree with trying to get help for him, does he have any family/friends who are military/ex military who he would listen to?

And yes to the SSAFA.

@herehere22

What an idiot. Imagine if he was an Ukrainian man being asked to fight. He'd hide under his mummy's skirt

You twat.

Why on earth would Putin nuke the UK? We haven’t even sent troops in yet. It is crazy, it’s mental. He does realise that war goes on in other countries all the time and kids still go to school. Besides if you were suddenly nuked I’m pretty sure it would make no difference whether the kids were at home or at school.

I would not indulge it OP, you’re paving the path for more madness. Nip it in the bud, before he gets worse, this isn’t normal at all.

yes he is their parent too but he doesn't get to decide they just don't go to school for no good reason. You're totally enabling him. I'd have taken my kids to school regardless and dealt with him later. The fact you say it "wouldn't go well" if you didn't do as you're told leads me to think he's intimidating you and has previous for this though. I don't really have any advice if you don't see a problem with it.

He may not be abusive but his actions and the consequences of those actions are.

Would he feel better if he had an emergency plan?

There are various government sites that have information on being prepared.
He could have a plan with the children for what they would do in the event of an attack - he would come and get them from a particular school entrance for example.
He could maybe prepare a supply of water, a wind up radio etc.

A nuclear attack may happen one day but not in the next week, so he can't keep the kids off school indefinitely.

He is mentally unstable and emotional abusive to your dc. He should be reported to SS.
So it's been a week, since the Ukraine story broke. And guess what? Nothing has happened. We aren't at risk.

"He's abusive"

For fuck sake, the man is clearly suffering an acute episode of poor mental health, as an ex marine I would assume PTSD. He needs help not accusations like that.

Mumsnet loves to kick a man when they're down.

Your don't have to entertain this.

If he is spending all day online or watching tv about Ukraine, it is going to make it worse. He needs to turn off the news and do something productive if he's planning to be home all week.

@28birthdays

"He's abusive"

For fuck sake, the man is clearly suffering an acute episode of poor mental health, as an ex marine I would assume PTSD. He needs help not accusations like that.

Mumsnet loves to kick a man when they're down.

Came here to say this.

The poor man is clearly suffering some form of PTSD or anxiety or even depression.

Please send your kids to school but help him by getting him to his GP.

@28birthdays

"He's abusive"

For fuck sake, the man is clearly suffering an acute episode of poor mental health, as an ex marine I would assume PTSD. He needs help not accusations like that.

Mumsnet loves to kick a man when they're down.

Except OP has said he hasn't been in a war situation and doesn't have PTSD so he's just a bog standard abusive bloke.