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Original poster

Why are some parents choosing not to share photos of their children on social media?

162 replies

RedRobyn2021 · 18/02/2022 16:19

Someone I know has just made a status announcing they've had their baby but won't be sharing pictures at least not until they are older

And come to think of it, I know a few people who have not even shared their child's name

I don't even have many Facebook friends but after I had my baby I did a sweep of my Facebook and removed a bunch of people so now I have maybe 200 people on there that I know.

I don't post loads of pictures of my daughter but I post maybe every couple of months a photo or a story

Is that ok? Should I not be doing this?

Feel a bit upset like maybe I'm a bad mum and should have considered more carefully

Should I take them down?

OP posts:
KneadingKitty · 18/02/2022 19:20

I don't understand why someone would think not having consent to wipe their bums/change their nappy is the same deal as posting pictures on social media?
Not changing a nappy would be neglectful parenting. Keeping them off social media isn't. Confused

Roselilly36 · 18/02/2022 19:20

I have never put my children’s photos or achievements on SM, some of my friends do, but it’s not for me. I even took down all of our family photos before the EA took photos when we were selling our house. I like to keep my private life private.

Moonface123 · 18/02/2022 19:21

l have never posted any photos of myself or my children on social media. l have never had the desire to do so.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
zlister · 18/02/2022 19:21

@radioactive4

I don't post photos of my kids on social media.

I think it's massively cringe. Can you imagine if your parents put photos of you as a toddler/young child/teen on their Instagram or Facebook?!

Complete invasion of privacy.
They are too young to consent so I don't do it.

Baby pictures aren't really embarrassing, but teen pics would be mortifying and are a definite no unless you've asked first at least

Twizbe · 18/02/2022 19:25

@FTEngineerM

I’m not sure I get the consent argument?

They don’t consent to me changing their nappy. They don’t consent to me putting them in clothes. They don’t consent to me taking them out in public with CCTV. They don’t consent to me taking them to nursery so a stranger cleans their private’s. They don’t consent to me bathing them.

Why is their lack of consent a reason not to post baby photos?

They’re hardly going to get to 35 be at a job interview and the interviewer goes ‘ah - you would have got the job but your mam was proud that day you played the drums when you were 1 and shared a picture, sorry’.

As a parent there are so many things that I need to decide for my kids.

Some are essential - changing their nappies, picking their schools, deciding they have to wear a jumper on a cold day etc

Some aren't - that they appear on social media, having their ears pierced etc

For those non essential things, I can hold off until they decide they want to do them.

zlister · 18/02/2022 19:25

So when they take pictures of you getting your arse wiped in an old people's home, you will be fine with them posting the picture with no consent.

Im not sure posting an elderly patients genitals (sexual abuse) is the same as posting your kid on sports day Shock

Mommabear20 · 18/02/2022 19:27

We don't post pictures of our DC as we feel it's up to them if they want to be on social media and they obviously can't consent at this age. We both have family WhatsApp groups that we can share pictures with family members who maybe don't see them regularly in person but other than that and the odd friend, who else really cares or needs constant photos of your child?

ldontWanna · 18/02/2022 19:27

@zlister

So when they take pictures of you getting your arse wiped in an old people's home, you will be fine with them posting the picture with no consent.

Im not sure posting an elderly patients genitals (sexual abuse) is the same as posting your kid on sports day Shock

I presume it's because it's not just sports day pics. There's pics in nappies, or a shitsplosion, or pics in the bath naked and so on.
Beees · 18/02/2022 19:27

Im not sure posting an elderly patients genitals (sexual abuse) is the same as posting your kid on sports day

It is in the same league as posting a toddler in the bath though or on the potty and that's a scarily common occurance.

SoManyQuestionsHere · 18/02/2022 19:27

The internet never forgets!

And, yes, true! Your entire life from the first ultrasound picture ever taken of you, long before you have anything even approaching the mental capacity to judge the possible repercussions, being documented online is becoming increasingly common.

But you don't know where the Internet is headed. You don't know what your child's school days will look like, never mind their adulthood, their job, their relationships! You do know, because humans will human - as they have from time immemorial - that your child may encounter someone at some point in their life who's just horrid, a bully, and who will grasp any opportunity to humiliate your child. It might never happen - or, if it does, your child may be 5 or 50 at the time.

But why would you put all the pieces into place for it to happen?

FWIW, I'm a senior executive in the tech sector. I'm 40 and well old enough to judge for myself. And I don't post anything more than the most inane stuff online for this very reason. And I'll be retired 30 years from now. Your child may be about to gun for that promotion to COO. how do you know what the future's take on "here's Gemma, our potential next COO, potty-training" will be?

HandWash · 18/02/2022 19:28

I completely understand why people don't and respect their choice.

It does make me roll my eyes when people post celebrity style pics of the back of their child's head/ their head missing etc. No one is that interested in your child! A friend concealed their baby's face for a year, then on his 1st birthday did a big announcement that they would "show his face for the first time" and then posted 12 months worth of photos Confused

Honestly felt so embarrassed for her 😂

FTEngineerM · 18/02/2022 19:30

@Marmelace that isn’t a counter argument to my post though, who posts photos of their child getting their arse wiped? No one, ever.

zlister · 18/02/2022 19:31

@Beees

Im not sure posting an elderly patients genitals (sexual abuse) is the same as posting your kid on sports day

It is in the same league as posting a toddler in the bath though or on the potty and that's a scarily common occurance.

People who do that are definitely doing too much, that's true

JessieLongleg · 18/02/2022 19:32

I'm going through my friends list before doing kids photos and then may just share them with a close list. Some seem addicted posting photos of their kids for their own ego. Never anything very special just loved by mum an few baby's friends. It's so boring.

FTEngineerM · 18/02/2022 19:32

I didn’t say they were the same @KneadingKitty I was listing a few things I don’t gain consent for, the lack of consent makes no difference to me doing it..

1forAll74 · 18/02/2022 19:32

I wouldn't post photo's of any family or my children on social media, some people are now addicted to doing this., nothing is private these days.

FTEngineerM · 18/02/2022 19:34

It is in the same league as posting a toddler in the bath though or on the potty and that's a scarily common occurance

Christ, is it? I haven’t seen any 😮

Thewindwhispers · 18/02/2022 19:34
  • Because I don’t want my teen DS to be teased by classmates over pics of him singing his heart out in the nativity play or running around the paddling pool
  • Because I want my adult DS to be able to control his ‘brand’ in professional life whether he’s a rapper or a politician or what, and I don’t think it’s helpful to have a load of preteen photos of him doing silly things floating around out of his control
  • Because paedos take pictures off places like unlocked Fb accounts and youtube etc then photoshop them with others so one abuse image can be sold as dozens of different images… I want to know that my DS’ face isn’t in underage porn… See points about trading and professional life above.
  • Because they have a right to privacy.
balalake · 18/02/2022 19:39

Respect for your child and not wanting them to be teased or worse about photos when they were younger.

Or because you might want to avoid giving more money to Mr Zuckerberg and Mr Clegg.

AntiHop · 18/02/2022 19:40

I do put photos of my dcs on Facebook. I never put anything that they might be embarrassed by in the future. I like looking my previous photos when the memories come up, and I like looking at the photos that other people share.

Lilac57 · 18/02/2022 19:41

I just don’t see the point in all of it anymore. Social media was an interesting novelty 10 years ago, but that’s all it was. I haven’t posted anything about my life or my family’s life (including pictures) on social media for years and years, WhatsApp is sufficient for sharing photos with family and friends. Why do randoms on the internet that I barely know need to know the details of our lives?

Lilac57 · 18/02/2022 19:43

But tbh the people who “announce” they’re not going to share photos on SM are being ridiculous. Just don’t do it, no one other than them actually cares.

LucyOrli · 18/02/2022 19:46

If you put up photos of your kids you have to be happy with literally anyone in the world looking at them at least in theory. I’m personally not, so I don’t.

ZenNudist · 18/02/2022 19:46

I don't put pictures of myself or my dc on SM. It feels unnecessary and facilitates identity theft.

Hoolihan · 18/02/2022 19:54

I basically spammed my Facebook with photos of my eldest when he was a baby, this was 2007/2008 so social media was still a bit of a novelty and I just didn't think about the privacy issues. I cringe now thinking about how much I posted.

He's now 14 and I've taken them all down plus identifying photos of my youngest too. I don't want them to be embarrassed and I am conscious of the consent issue.