Why are some parents choosing not to share photos of their children on social media?

[RedRobyn2021]

Someone I know has just made a status announcing they've had their baby but won't be sharing pictures at least not until they are older

And come to think of it, I know a few people who have not even shared their child's name

I don't even have many Facebook friends but after I had my baby I did a sweep of my Facebook and removed a bunch of people so now I have maybe 200 people on there that I know.

I don't post loads of pictures of my daughter but I post maybe every couple of months a photo or a story

Is that ok? Should I not be doing this?

Feel a bit upset like maybe I'm a bad mum and should have considered more carefully

Should I take them down?

We don’t post photos of our children or us online. I don’t see the point and I think everyone should choose for themselves once they’re old enough.

Sharing photos on social media has been an option for about fifteen years.

For a good millennium or two you needed a painter to share a picture of your kids or your dinner.

Now, despite copious evidence regarding the negative effects within a few short years of its introduction, it's considered the norm.

I used to post pictures of my eldest, then when I had my second I thought about it and felt uncomfortable. Remember anything on your facebook profile or cover photo is public. Seems abit daft we try to teach children about internet safety whilst plastering pictures of them and their personal details all over the internet.

That’s how some people are. A friend of mine posted about her 10 week old. It was her first post on her baby. I had no idea it had been born. Still no idea if it’s a boy or girl. That’s her choice.

It's basic safeguarding.

I don't because I would hate my childhood photos being all over the Internet for anyone to look at.

A family member had photos of her kids online and started getting really weird messages through from an anonymous account giving lots of information about where they had been, her kids names and schools etc.

It was reported but the person was never found. That's enough to put me off too.

@RewildingAmbridge

I work with sex offenders I post the odd picture of my DS, honestly if you've ever seen the dark web they're not interested in a picture of your DC at the park.

That made me shudder.

they are choosing not to do it because its their choice to make.

That’s how some people are. A friend of mine posted about her 10 week old. It was her first post on her baby. I had no idea it had been born. Still no idea if it’s a boy or girl. That’s her choice.

If your friend has a baby, do you not find out in a phone call or text?

I think every parent has to weigh up the arguments and make their choice. No judgement here.

But I would add that privacy just feels nice sometimes. I moved recently and didn't post about it online, partly because I didn't want to rub it in people's faces at a time when many people are tightening their belts, but also it just felt nice it not all being out there online.

People making careers out of sharing every aspect of their child's life are another matter.

Agree with this - people on insta using their kids for “content” are a problem. Me sharing a photo of my two with a closed list of people on Facebook, not so much. They’re of an age where they still quite like looking through pictures of themselves as babies/toddlers.

I don’t use SM anymore but did post the odd pic of my DC when I did, totally private account so no safety concerns and obviously goes without saying no nude or bath photos which some parents weirdly post.

I never do. Pics are accessible to anyone even on private profiles.

@NextThreadPlease

That’s how some people are. A friend of mine posted about her 10 week old. It was her first post on her baby. I had no idea it had been born. Still no idea if it’s a boy or girl. That’s her choice.

If your friend has a baby, do you not find out in a phone call or text?

We aren’t that close anymore. We were really close in college but now we keep up with each other via fb

I don't post pictures of my DC on my social media, as I don't think it's fair on them, as they're not able to consent.

It did make me laugh when I bumped into an longtime FB friend in real-life, who thought I'd been single with no DC for the past 10 years, and doing his best not to ask the probing questions!

Some people are just more open with sharing pictures of their DC on social media than others.

That’s how some people are. A friend of mine posted about her 10 week old. It was her first post on her baby. I had no idea it had been born. Still no idea if it’s a boy or girl. That’s her choice.

See I don't understand this at all. If you're friends surely you speak to her, text her or see her outside social media so you'd know this without needing to wait for a Facebook post?

I don't post photos of my children on social media. There is no need and it doesn't benefit them. When they are old enough, they can make their own choice. In the meantime, I have no reason to put photos of them on social media, so I don't, and as far as I know there are no photos of them on the internet. There may be the odd photo of them in a sports team or similar, but I'm ok with that.

I have people on my Facebook who I went to school with and haven’t seen since. I wouldn’t want them seeing my children - I don’t know them! I rarely use FB anyway.

I used to post all sorts of shit when I was 16, now I see SM for what it is, and sharing my life is not what I use it for, that definitely includes my children.

For me it's simply that I'd hate to grow up and be told that my baby/childhood photos are on the internet. For that reason I don't share photos of DS online.

Have a read of this reddit thread- it made me very, very glad I've never posted mine.

www.reddit.com/r/LaBrantFamSnark/comments/lmno7w/questions_are_open_for_tomorrows_ama/

Sex offenders and a child's right to privacy.

Publishing children's photos and information online is something I would never do. They can't give consent. Once you upload anything to social media or forums you have lost control of it. Also, don't they deserve some privacy in their family life? Why does everything have to be publicly broadcast?

I don't share my kids image or their names. I don't give permission of them to have their photos taken anywhere either.

I believe that until they are able to consent to their image being on the internet I have to assume they don't want it there.

As they get older we will talk to them about what is and isn't appropriate to share and then they can make their own choice. They will also be free to post any baby photos of themselves they want.

We also went through years of infertility and other's constant pregnancy and baby updates hurt a lot. I don't want to inflict that on others.

"Around half to three-quarters of the photographs or videos I or my team recover from hard drives, thumb drives and smart phones originate with parents innocently posting their children’s photos or videos. Lobbying for change is what needs to be done and it needed to be done ages ago. The problem is only getting worse."

"I unfortunately spend time on the dark web way more often than I’d like to. Can I say that there is some sick s* there. There are thousands of children depicted. Some of the cases I’ve worked have included my having to trace the origin of a photo and break the news to very unsuspecting parents as to what I’ve found. I worked a case for 26 months where the culprit was located in Romania. We ran across so many photos of children we tracked back to The U.S.
One mother simply uploaded a cute photo of her daughter on Facebook and it was photoshopped and shared over 190 times."

"Most parents I have dealt with on a firsthand basis are absolutely shocked. Parents need to know that there are people out there whose sole purpose in life is collecting photos of children for immoral purposes. These people are sick and they are everywhere. When I say everywhere I mean everywhere. Nobody ever feels their child is in danger until something bad happens. We live in a world where you can type the name of a child’s parent into Google and the results basically bring you to a photo of their home. Remember what I said earlier. These people are professionals."

"They photoshop sex organs on the photos and they look real. They then sell them.
This may be a trigger so beware. I worked a case where we found a folder on a man’s computer with thousands upon thousands on nothing but sleeping children. At first glance, it seemed innocent enough until I took a closer look. This man had photoshopped each and every photo with a blueish purple color. His big fantasy was dead toddlers. This was his masturbation material. This was yet another case where the parents we tracked down had to hear this news. So let me reiterate, even the most innocent photographs can and will be used for sick purposes."

Some comments from an anonymous but verified cyber security and sex crimes detective. (He was an integral part of Operation Delego that resulted in one of the largest child pornography busts in US history. In addition, he works closely with his state’s Child Predator Task Force, the FBI Innocent Images National Initiative and the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force.)