Why are some parents choosing not to share photos of their children on social media?

[RedRobyn2021]

Someone I know has just made a status announcing they've had their baby but won't be sharing pictures at least not until they are older

And come to think of it, I know a few people who have not even shared their child's name

I don't even have many Facebook friends but after I had my baby I did a sweep of my Facebook and removed a bunch of people so now I have maybe 200 people on there that I know.

I don't post loads of pictures of my daughter but I post maybe every couple of months a photo or a story

Is that ok? Should I not be doing this?

Feel a bit upset like maybe I'm a bad mum and should have considered more carefully

Should I take them down?

I don’t put my kids on social media,
It’s a personal choice.

I work with sex offenders I post the odd picture of my DS, honestly if you've ever seen the dark web they're not interested in a picture of your DC at the park.

Some people think that until the child is old enough to give informed consent, it’s not OK to post any pics of them.

Other people will be estranged from family members or have children who are at risk from family members.

Some people (me) think all children are quite boring and don’t post boring content

If your socials are private and you don’t mind anyone in your friends list saving pics, screenshotting etc, then you do you.

Lots of parents do it, but it is taking away your child's right to choose.

That oh-so-cute snap which is adorable to you will probably make them cringe in later years

I'd not put pictures of myself on social media so I certainly wouldn't post pics of dc who would have no say in the matter.

People will have lots of reasons, but one in my family is that the parents believe it should be a persons choice what goes on the internet about them.

I put photos up. My teenager is not bothered that baby photos of him are on the internet, I think it's a non issue.

If you post a picture you lose control of who can see it and what people can do with it.

In France parents are warned about posting potentially embarrassing stuff about their children as the children can sue them in the future.

Some people just value their privacy more and don't see the need to share the photos. Some love sharing them.

My own DC are teens and as soon as they started expressing an opinion about whether their photos were taken or shared I stopped.

I don't put pictures of my kids up, I think they should be able to make their own choice about being on there. I don't judge others for doing differently though 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don’t put my DC on social media. My DH does. Tbh it’s a struggle now they’re older to get him to understand he should be asking their consent. He’d argue his SM is closed down like yours, which it is, fair enough - but only a handful of those 200 people have actual IRL relationships with the DC themselves.

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to be allowed a private childhood off the internet. I had that, and I don’t see why my DC shouldn’t, particularly as they get older.

I don't post any pictures of my child on social meaia. He cannot consent to them being on there and I don't think it's my right as his parent to post his image online when he may in future resent the pictures being out there. When he is old enough he can make the choice himself.

Personally I find it odder more people don't take this stance. I don't imagine many people would be content with their childhood family photo album being online so why would people think their child would be happy to have theirs online?

My daughter's image won't appear online until she understands the implications, which won't be for many years.

The amount that some people share astonishes me.

And despite a previous poster's blitheness about paedophiles not being interested, that just isn't true.

I have put up quite a lot of pictures up of my young children but I am starting to worry that I shouldn't be doing it.

You just never know who is looking at the pics. They can find out their name, date of birth, which school they go to, friends and family they spend time with, exactly where you are (if posting a pic while tagging the place you are in etc).

Also, it's fine to make your own decisions. You don't have to follow what random people on the internet think is "right" in parenting, they might well be wrong. We are all different and it's OK to parent in different ways.

It depends on your personal circumstances and how you view privacy.

I don't post any details of my life on social media and I wouldn't post details of someone else's life either.

But I don't think your child is likely to come to any great harm from the occasional picture on Facebook. It's just personal preference at that level.

People making careers out of sharing every aspect of their child's life are another matter.

I don’t post my kids (or myself) and it annoys me when others do. It’s my children’s choice to be on the internet, or not.

I’ve been on Facebook pages (group pages like Facebook bargain pages etc) where people have posted their kids naked, so yes people do stuff like that, I find it alarming (one woman was showing off her new paddling pool on a bargains page and her child was in it fully naked)

I don’t judge anyone, but I feel myself that I don’t have the right to put photos of my kids online. I imagine if my parents had access to Facebook and put photos of me back in the 80s. I would have hated it.

A friend recently put a PicCollage of her daughter (mainly embarrassing photos of her as a child) on sM for her 15th birthday. Oh God I cringed for the daughter, having no control of the embarrassing bath/bad makeup etc photos her mum plastered on FB/Instagram.

When you post a pic to Facebook it becomes the property of Facebook. This is in their Ts&Cs. Facebook owns Instagram too I think. So essentially you're giving a pic of your child to this SM giant to do whatever it wants to do with said pic.

we all have different boundaries regarding social media. I don't think there's a right or wrong approach.

I do know that when I was first on SM in the early days I was an excited oversharer, and have massively rowed back on this. I don't believe my DC or I have been placed at risk by anything I've shared, I've just chosen to increase my privacy for lots of reasons.

there's been more than one conversation at work when someone mentions "oh, I saw XYZ on your insta". When the person replies that their insta is private, they've been told "oh yes, I know, Mutual Friend showed me", which shows that however much you lock things down, you're basically only as private as your least discreet friend.

Various reasons.

Some people think it's not fair on the kids to have pics of them online when they can't consent.

Some have in general a pretty low social media print.

Some do it because of a real or perceived threat, be that emotional ,mental or physical. Estranged families, kids that are adopted,or in care, kids that need to be away from a parent etc as well as people with family members /friends that play fast and loose with the rules and their privacy settings.

It's a valid choice either way.

I would never, ever put photos of my child on social media. How can you seriously say you don’t have many Facebook friends but then say you have 200 people on there?

You're not doing anything wrong. I post pictures but Snapchat only- so people I know, plus nobody can screenshot without my knowledge.

It's normal to put pictures up but if you're uncomfortable remove them🤷🏻‍♀️

People still post on Facebook? I thought that had died out!

I'd probably feel a little off about posting on Facebook though, not everyone has your best interests at heart or is a decent person.