Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Why are some parents choosing not to share photos of their children on social media?

162 replies

RedRobyn2021 · 18/02/2022 16:19

Someone I know has just made a status announcing they've had their baby but won't be sharing pictures at least not until they are older

And come to think of it, I know a few people who have not even shared their child's name

I don't even have many Facebook friends but after I had my baby I did a sweep of my Facebook and removed a bunch of people so now I have maybe 200 people on there that I know.

I don't post loads of pictures of my daughter but I post maybe every couple of months a photo or a story

Is that ok? Should I not be doing this?

Feel a bit upset like maybe I'm a bad mum and should have considered more carefully

Should I take them down?

OP posts:
Airyfairymarybeary · 18/02/2022 17:11

Once you put your pictures on the internet, they are no longer your pictures.
This is regardless of your privacy settings.

Hellolittlestar · 18/02/2022 17:12

My kids are not on social media. I cannot even tell you why exactly, but it doesn’t feel right for me. I send WhatsApp messages to my closest who might actually be interested in seeing those pictures.

cookiemonster2468 · 18/02/2022 17:12

I think it's hard for most adults to really have an understanding because this wasn't a thing when we were small.

But think back to your childhood, and imagine your parents were constantly taking pics of you and plastering them all over the internet for everyone to see.

Imagine all your childhood pictures still sat on your parents' facebook memories to this day.

I think it's a bit weird and people don't really think through the implications for their kids of having their whole childhood online for all to see. I wouldn't want it so I wouldn't do it to my kids.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Petrarkanian · 18/02/2022 17:14

I decided no photos and 18 years later I've achieved this.
How can you explain to a teenager why they shouldn't post photos when you've done it.
I stand by my decision.

Juliauns91 · 18/02/2022 17:16

Posting a lot of pics and information on social media is a kidnap risk, burglary risk and identity theft risk.

A supposedly clever woman I came across on Facebook when I was finding people for a reunion -

  • completely open Facebook page: -Showed pictures of every room in her house and garden back and front -pics of her children in their school uniforms outside their school -Information about every aspect of her sons's lives - where they go and what they do Saying when her husband was away on business and she was home alone with kids -Bragging about going to Dubai (giving date they are leaving) and leaving the boys at home with grandma popping in.

Just incredible. People are losing their effing minds.

Laiste · 18/02/2022 17:20

I rarely post on FB at all and the only pics i ever put up are things i'm selling on the village page or giving away.

SIL posts pics of my kids sometimes when they've been with their cousins. .... i wouldn't say anything but i'm not keen.

I just feel no need to post pics

Classicblunder · 18/02/2022 17:26

I post photos from time to time on Facebook - I have a lot of overseas family and it's nice to share with them.

My dad recently posted some of my childhood photos - I didn't mind at all.

Most people I know post some photos on social media of their kids.

Sammysquiz · 18/02/2022 17:30

I don’t put pictures of mine up either. If I want to share pictures of them with family then I use WhatsApp which is far more secure.

BOOTS52 · 18/02/2022 17:30

I don't even have Facebook and am very private and would not have been posting photos as that's just me and anyone can be looking at them. But it is up to the individual to make that choice but some people overshare and post absolutely everything, photos of their dinner, kids doing this and that all the time which is a bit over the top and kids do not have any privacy or choice. I am older though so this could be it but even if my son a baby now would not be posting photos.

KneadingKitty · 18/02/2022 17:33

Consent. I used to post a picture of them every day at one point before I understood that they can't consent and one day they might be annoyed that they are on there. I set all the albums with them in for me to see only. I share the odd photo of them now but I feel a bit uncomfortable when I do.

Narutocrazyfox · 18/02/2022 17:35

I will never, ever post pictures of my children simply because they have no say in the matter - if I were 16 or 17 right now, I'd be mortified at the thought my baby photos were online for anyone to view if they set their mind to it.

I'd hate it if someone posted a picture of me without my permission and children are too young to understand or properly consent, so I avoid it completely.

hiraffe · 18/02/2022 17:35

I don't post my dc on facebook etc, don't see the point. I have family whatsapp's groups so just share on that. It's personal choice

Notdoingthis · 18/02/2022 17:36

It's just not fair. I would hate someone else to be posting photos of me. I work with teenagers and they hate seeing their embarrassing toddler photos on their parents' social media. Let them have privacy.
Not to mention the fact that is the world wide web.

MadMadMadamMim · 18/02/2022 17:48

I don't put posters of my DC up. Or myself. It's the boring equivalent of going to dinner with someone and being forced to yawn over their holiday photos in my mind.

Why would anyone want to see my children? Why would my children want to cringe in years to come at the photos I've 'shared' with the world?

I've seen far too many photos of a colleague's primary school aged daughter doing 'cute' things, winning 'speller of the week' or coming 7th in the district schools netball tournament. All with comments like So proud of this little star!. I have blocked them for it because I couldn't give a shit about a kid I've never met and have no desire to have said photos shoved in my face every time I'm on FB.

I joined FB for work related reasons and don't really get it, to be honest.

Ratherdogsthanpeople · 18/02/2022 17:50

I worked closely with someone who turned out to be a pedophile. We onviously had no idea, but it was hundreds of children. The police later said he picked children by their clothes and hair. They had to have nice, smart clothes and hair. I’ll never forget it.

It's basic safeguarding I think.

KneadingKitty · 18/02/2022 17:53

@Ratherdogsthanpeople

I worked closely with someone who turned out to be a pedophile. We onviously had no idea, but it was hundreds of children. The police later said he picked children by their clothes and hair. They had to have nice, smart clothes and hair. I’ll never forget it.

It's basic safeguarding I think.

I don't get how this relates to social media; can you elaborate?
Ratherdogsthanpeople · 18/02/2022 17:58

@KneadingKitty Not too much, no. But the previous poster who said noone is interested in photos of your kids on social media is not right. Some people are more than interested. And you might think you know your ’only 200 followers’, well chances are you don’t. So why risk it, let your kids make up their own mind when they are old enough. Is that an ok answer?

raspberryjamchicken · 18/02/2022 18:05

I have posted a few over the years but mostly stopped once I thought about it and decided they might be embarrassed one day if pictures of them as children/babies were shared online. I rarely share photos of myself (because I don't like most pics of myself) but I did put a family shot as my cover photo a few months ago. My kids are older now so I asked them if it was ok.

amusedbush · 18/02/2022 18:05

I know people who have posted every minute of their children's lives on social media - not just photos of them in the bath but intimate (and comprehensive!) details of their ongoing constipation/poo withholding issues, medical diagnoses and behavioural issues. I can't imagine their kid is going to be thrilled in 10-15 years time when they realise.

Ratherdogsthanpeople · 18/02/2022 18:07

@amusedbush

I know people who have posted every minute of their children's lives on social media - not just photos of them in the bath but intimate (and comprehensive!) details of their ongoing constipation/poo withholding issues, medical diagnoses and behavioural issues. I can't imagine their kid is going to be thrilled in 10-15 years time when they realise.
Sounds like borderline abuse.
Dontlooksup · 18/02/2022 18:18

I have 80 family members and friends. I deliberately keep it this way so my social media is private. I'll post what I like.

holibobs12 · 18/02/2022 18:19

@MadMadMadamMim

I don't put posters of my DC up. Or myself. It's the boring equivalent of going to dinner with someone and being forced to yawn over their holiday photos in my mind.

Why would anyone want to see my children? Why would my children want to cringe in years to come at the photos I've 'shared' with the world?

I've seen far too many photos of a colleague's primary school aged daughter doing 'cute' things, winning 'speller of the week' or coming 7th in the district schools netball tournament. All with comments like So proud of this little star!. I have blocked them for it because I couldn't give a shit about a kid I've never met and have no desire to have said photos shoved in my face every time I'm on FB.

I joined FB for work related reasons and don't really get it, to be honest.

Depends. People who post constantly are a bore. The odd photo of someone's family is always nice, it's a bit cynical to say everything is boring- I'm that case not much point being on social media at all.

It's only tiresome when it's parents posting every last thing (and also that's where the embarrassment/safety issues come in). Pic every few months is fine.

Lesperance · 18/02/2022 18:24

@Dontlooksup

I have 80 family members and friends. I deliberately keep it this way so my social media is private. I'll post what I like.
Do. I mean I don't think anybody has said that it's not up to the individual. Post what you like. I choose not to post photos of my kids, but I really don't care what others do. I am happy to explain my personal choices, but they are just that, personal. But I'm curious as to what your definition of private is.
MajorCarolDanvers · 18/02/2022 18:25

It's a personal choice.

I do post my kids on Facebook but not other channels. I respect that others don't.

toomanybooksonmybookcase · 18/02/2022 18:36

TLDR:
Because the police told me to.

Long version.
One of my kids has Autism and a list as long as my arm of other special needs. Unfortunately they're not averse to hitting out when they can't cope either. Adults, children, teachers. Anyone close enough to them is going to get it when they're melting down or just can't cope.
And because some people are small minded and nasty we have had some very specific hate mail relating to my special needs DC. Anonymous hate mail at that. Police have been involved due to the nature of what the hate mail contained. Their advice was to deidentify social media due to the nature of the threats received. I also don't use my real name on Facebook and my profile picture is of a tree.

Facebook is essentially public. If you wouldn't stand up on the 82 bus or in the middle of the office and shout out what you put online then you might want to rethink what you are posting.