What easy things are you just shit at?

[coastergirl]

It's ridiculous. I'm a 37 year old woman. I have 2 kids, a job I love. I function reasonably well!

I cannot butter bread. I make a complete mess of it. Holes in the bread etc. I can't blame it on hard butter because I use marg.

I'm ill and bored. Please make me feel better by telling me the "easy" things you're shit at.

I have no concept of distance. I can't fathom what 100 yards is. Or 8 ft or 20 metres. It could be right next to me or at the end of the road.

Can't:
Dance
Sing
Clap a beat
Whistle
And since losing a baby at 27 weeks, 25 years ago nearly, can't cry. Nothing hurts any more and the tears ran put.

I can't use a tin opener for shit. We have to get the electric ones

Aiming. I can't seem to see it properly. Archery: useless. Pool: useless. Laser tag: useless. Reproducing something - even a picture - on a piece of paper (I know all the rules of perspective): useless.

I've realised recently that quite often I reach for the washing line and miss.

I have a lot of astigmatism and significantly unbalanced short-sightedness, and I suspect these are not unconnected.

I can't do
Jigsaw puzzles even the toddler twelve piece ones, I don't know why just can't do it.

Crap at telling time on a non digital clock! I'm 45 and was around before the digital so not sure why.

Rubbish at tying shoelaces and am terrible telling my left from right

Oh and very bad at recognising voices 🤷‍♀️

Catching things. If someone throws me a set of keys, or anything smaller than a double duvet really, I just can't catch it. I watch in confusion as it sails through the sky and lands near my feet. Do people have brains in their palms that explain when the right time is to move the hand, and where to, so they can catch?

Catching or throwing anything. I just don’t seem to have the hand eye coordination for it.

Every time I cook rice it ends up welded to the bottom of the pan. It doesn’t matter what techniques I try, I just can’t do it.

Peeling a boiled egg, I just can't do it without taking half the egg with it.
Parking, absolutely useless at it.

Cooking pizza in the oven. It is either burnt or stuck to the pan or doughy. It is the only thing I get my husband to cook due to my ineptitude.

I can't do Wordle and I have an English degree :(

I can’t make Yorkshire puddings, they are light and fluffy just not big

Knife sharpening! My granda was a but her and showed me but despite that a numerous YouTube vids since he died I'm still a failure!

I can’t sing, dance or wrap gifts. Even the simplest box looks messy after my attempt.

Driving nose in to parking spaces.... I can get in but I've fooked it when I need to reverse out. I just can get the angle right and end up doing a million point turn convinced I'm going to hit a car next to me or reverse into one of the cars in the row opposite. Yet I can reverse into spaces very very easily! 🤷‍♀️

I can't put a bin liner in a bin properly - any bin.

It just sort of "poufs" inwards and traps air. I have seen bins with bin liners that looks great and tidy and not full of air. Please can some kind person tell me how to do it? I have even worked in hotels and kitchens and I still can't do it properly.

Anything that requires hand eye coordination. I'm just shit

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Using a TV when there is more than 1 remote available... Ds 7 usually fixes it!!

This

Left and right?
Joined up handwriting
Being on time

Can't slice bread decently , i always end up with a doorstop wodge at the bottom end that won't fit in the toaster.
On the other hand i can make great poached eggs to go on the wonky toast. (I use a small frying pan)
I'm a lefty and always have great difficulty telling right from left.
If someone says something is on the left i have to look at my hands to find the right direction -- the left hand has a mole on it.

Couldn't blow up and tie a balloon to save my life

Oh god, loads.

Things that matter: driving, navigating, organising

Things that don't matter: using clingfilm

When the kids ask me to turn on/set up the playstation.
There's something about switching it from watching tv mode to playstation mode that I cannot fathom. The 8yo will usually step in and take over.

I'm 39 and still can't fasten a bra behind my back

@HairyScaryMonster

Small talk with school parents, and remembering their names and those of their children for that matter.

Please tell me you aren't a teacher, or worse, a HT?🤣