What easy things are you just shit at?

[coastergirl]

It's ridiculous. I'm a 37 year old woman. I have 2 kids, a job I love. I function reasonably well!

I cannot butter bread. I make a complete mess of it. Holes in the bread etc. I can't blame it on hard butter because I use marg.

I'm ill and bored. Please make me feel better by telling me the "easy" things you're shit at.

I suck at driving (not saying it is easy tho) and I am completely sucking at training our dog, she’s a terror, but am really trying!! I always thought I was the kind of person who could do anything so long as you didn’t need to do it especially well, now I think you can call me if you need someone to paint/bake/horse ride/rollerskate to an improbably awful standard!

Star jumps. At one point I was a dancer, a pretty decent musical theatre dancer. Could do all manner of marvellous things in three inch character shoes whilst belting out a show tune at the same time. Also did ballet with all manner of grace.

Try and do a big standard star jump in a pair of trainers and jogging bottoms? Can't be done. Cannot get both legs off the ground in the 'star' shape at the same time. Bang goes my chance of ever doing Fame I guess

@Choosingtochange

Same! Can't make friends. I am really chatty and nice but people just don't seem to like me.

I'm exactly the same. Maybe we could be friends!

Blow drying my own hair.

Also, type the word THE. It's always teh.

I can't time a Sunday dinner to all be cooked at the same time for the life of me! Stresses me out to the point where I refuse to cook one 😂.

@RobertaFirmino Yorkshire puddings are something I can do- the trick is the heat. I always do my batter and then leave it to sit for around an hour as well. In your Yorkshire puddings tray put oil/lard and into the oven with it on full- don't add batter until that is very hot/smoking then keep the door shut! The amount of times I've opened the oven door to peak and ruined them it's like I have a knack of knowing the exact time they're at that point of either rising or being pancakes 😂

@Fizbosshoes

Clicking my fingers Pushing a supermarket trolley

Snap! Or rather, not snap as I can't make the noise

@coastergirl have you tried using the back of a spoon instead? Sounds nuts, but works. Or can do

There's a workout exercise DP and I do a couple of times a week where you lie prone with arms stretched out in front of you and raise and lower both arms and both legs repeatedly - a "Superman". I can't lift my right arm even a centimetre in this position.

Cooking rice or eggs.

Putting on duvet covers.

Geography, even if we're driving a road we've been down a hundred times I have no idea where we are we do live rurally, so I guess a lot of these roads look the same, but they are A roads. Same with North, South, East and West. How do people KNOW where North is? Baffling.
I have to check my hands most times when someone says left or right, your left hand makes an L

Most tech stuff. Our printer has only been used once til the ink ran out as I don't know which type to buy.

Instant coffee, should it be a flat teaspoon or heaped teaspoon or something in between? Colour comes out wrong and it looks like tea. Probably milk quantity is wrong too then

@Pudmyboy

*Branster Cannot wink for the life of me so I do a reverse wink at my kids (I don't actually wink at anybody but I'd like to be able to do it). I did practice on my dogs for years, can't do it.* What's a reverse wink? I thought I could wink but every one laughs when I try so I looked in a mirror: I just squint, sadly! Also *@Daenerys77* I was never able to do a forward roll! I was actually scared I would snap my neck. Never been able to sit cross-legged either

Close both eyes and only open one. End result should be a wink. Not the real deal but that's as close as I'll ever get 😂

@SiobhanSharpe

Can't slice bread decently , i always end up with a doorstop wodge at the bottom end that won't fit in the toaster. On the other hand i can make great poached eggs to go on the wonky toast. (I use a small frying pan) I'm a lefty and always have great difficulty telling right from left. If someone says something is on the left i have to look at my hands to find the right direction -- the left hand has a mole on it.

You need a left-handed bread knife, it will revolutionise how you slice bread! I speak from experience - I'm a leftie and buying one enabled me to slice even, neat pieces of bread for the first time in my entire life.

I can't whistle
Cook pasta
Cook rice
Ive given up trying all now

I can tie my shoe laces but they always come undone. I feel like a child when I have to do then up again. I think I pull them tight enough but im obviously doing something wrong but I don't know what.

I've never been able to do a sit up. I'm reasonably fit (have run several marathons in the past and still run 3 or 4 times a week) can touch my toes, get up without touching the floor etc. But can't do a sit up. Even when a few years ago I did a lot of ab strengthening exercises but I still never mastered a sit up.

I really struggle to blow up balloons, which is weird because I used to play the flute (which also involves lots of blowing).

Ironing. Everything ends up even more creased than it was to start with.

I can't wrap presents neatly to save my life

I can't tell a joke. I mess it up or say it in a way that's just not funny and no one laughs.

I still have to stop and think about the 7x table. For some reason it never stuck in my mind

I can't take photographs. Or have a decent photo taken of me. I stand naturally and smile but I just look red and awkward

Putting lids back onto bottles and jars. I just sort of place them loosly back on and put whatever it is back.

And boiling an egg. I can cook really well but cannot boil an egg. How are they so uncooked after 7 minutes!

I am terrible at knowing how to get somewhere, satnav is my friend.

Can't run, or dance, but can do HIIT..

I'm crap at faces too.

I have such bad spacial awareness I get lost in a shopping centre. I once parked my banana yellow Metro car in a multi storey car park on an Open Day at Warwick University. I was led around on a tour then went back to multi storey to go home only my car was missing. I hunted on every floor and it is easy to spot. I had to speak to security and they rang the police. In the end I was looking in the wrong car park.

Can't throw or catch frisbees. Kids laugh at my attempts.

Can make an omelette, park, drive, put make up on well, all the above but I cannot swim more than a few strokes and I am useless at making and keeping friends.

• Arranging flowers in a vase
• Houseplants
• blowing up balloons

I can reverse park anywhere though after living in a terraced house with no off-road parking for 15 years.