Page 18 | Would you date a man who didn't eat any vegetables?

StrychnineIntheSandwiches · 04/02/2022 14:55

I'm intrigued to know what he's basing 'vegetables are poisonous' on.

DrinkingWishingSmokingHoping · 04/02/2022 14:56

@Neurodiversitydoctor

Sorry should have been clear AFRID is a clinical diagnosis, for which there should be support and/ or treatment. A preference for not eating any vegetables is self indulgent and unhealthy.

Are you a healthcare professional @Neurodiversitydoctor?

MidnightMeltdown · 04/02/2022 15:09

No!

If he's that childish about food, then he will be about other things too. Sounds like he was poorly brought up.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/02/2022 15:33

Are you a healthcare professional@Neurodiversitydoctor?

Yup

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/02/2022 15:36

Eating things that aren't your absolute preference is a life skill.

TheFoundation · 04/02/2022 15:52

@Neurodiversitydoctor

Eating things that aren't your absolute preference is a life skill.

Making sure you are properly nourished is what you're driving at, I think. It doesn't have anything to do with eating things you don't want to eat. Most nutrients are available from a variety of sources, so we can usually get what we need from things we like to eat.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/02/2022 16:25

Not at all, it is a socially useful skill to be able to eat food you don't especially like without complaint. We could all just about surrive on very few food stuffs (although I sceptical of no plants/ leaves at all- where would roughage come from?).

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/02/2022 16:29

For me it is akin to teaching children to eat with a knife and fork. I emphasise I do not include people with significant sensory aversion, I am talking here about preference.

MermaidEyes · 04/02/2022 16:35

it is a socially useful skill to be able to eat food you don't especially like without complaint

But why should you? Life can be crap enough without having to eat food you don't like or enjoy. We all have food we don't like - if I don't like something, I won't eat it. Everyone I know has their 'hated' foods, and I wouldn't expect them to eat any of them either.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/02/2022 16:41

What about formal occasions ? Weddings? What about being stuck on the M4 and the only food left at the service station isn't on your preferred list ? Hell even just going to friends for dinner. An example: there is a quiz night at my son's school next week, the food is lasagne ( meat or vegetarian) it would be incredibly awkward ( DM would say ill-bred) not to eat it even if you weren't keen or at least try. What about work events with pre made sandwiches ? The examples are endless.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 04/02/2022 16:43

Yeah, wouldn't bother me at all. I don't eat much veg myself. I'd eat it if I was served it at a meal but I don't cook it often.

SpinsForGin · 04/02/2022 16:56

@Neurodiversitydoctor

What about formal occasions ? Weddings? What about being stuck on the M4 and the only food left at the service station isn't on your preferred list ? Hell even just going to friends for dinner. An example: there is a quiz night at my son's school next week, the food is lasagne ( meat or vegetarian) it would be incredibly awkward ( DM would say ill-bred) not to eat it even if you weren't keen or at least try. What about work events with pre made sandwiches ? The examples are endless.

This is why ARFID is so horrible. It makes occasions like this so stressful ( I generally choose not to eat in these circumstances)

*I know you're not referring to people with EDs

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 04/02/2022 16:58

[quote TheFoundation]@Sprucewillis

What you're saying isn't the same as what some PPs are saying though. Absolutely it's the right thing that everybody is attracted to different things and has the right to rule anybody out for any or no reason.

But lots of pps are saying that if someone doesn't eat veg, they are childish/selfish etc. That's not on.

It's not a good reason, he just 'doesn't like vegetables' and has a gym bro attitude of meat and eggs is all I need

Humans can get very nearly everything they need from meat, nourishment-wise. We're pretty misled when it comes to what a healthy diet is. It's certainly not the 'NHS eatwell plate', which is, at best a 'keep your current level of body fat' diet, and not something to aim for for the majority of us.[/quote]
There's no fibre in meat. Not much vitamin C either, but I suppose the Inuit managed in the past to survive on little more than sealmeat for much of the year.

TheFoundation · 04/02/2022 17:09

We don't all need fibre as much as we're told we do. We can all find our own balance, though. Fibre makes me poorly, I don't need any at all. The doctors tell me I'm perfectly well. You're right about Vit C. That's why I said 'nearly'

TheFoundation · 04/02/2022 17:14

@Neurodiversitydoctor

What about formal occasions ? Weddings? What about being stuck on the M4 and the only food left at the service station isn't on your preferred list ? Hell even just going to friends for dinner. An example: there is a quiz night at my son's school next week, the food is lasagne ( meat or vegetarian) it would be incredibly awkward ( DM would say ill-bred) not to eat it even if you weren't keen or at least try. What about work events with pre made sandwiches ? The examples are endless.

Vegetarians have been classed as awkward for many years. Vegans moreso. Should they eat meat, to avoid awkward situations?

Going without is an option. Even the slender amongst us have enough body fat to get us through a couple of weeks. Unless you have a carb problem, skipping a meal isn't usually too much of an issue.

Your examples are a bit silly. There are very few situations where we can't find something we like, and when that happens it can happen to people who don't have unusual food preferences, too.

What we find 'incredibly awkward' isn't the same for all of us. What your DM would say isn't the same as what everyone would say.

You seem to think you're speaking for everybody; you're not.

Porcupineintherough · 04/02/2022 17:32

The plain fact is that restrictive eating is seen as an unattractive trait by a chunk of the population. I dont think arguing whether this is justified or not, or in which circumstances, gets us very far. For some it's a deal breaker, for others it might be acceptable if x/y/z, for others it's no problem. Same as moustaches, or an obsession with cycling, or whatever.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 04/02/2022 17:51

I think it depends on how they go about things. My DS hates veg, he quietly gets on with it, orders something like meat and chips when we go out, picks out the veg if there is any. He never talks about it and doesn’t make a fuss. I know a lot of vegans who are the opposite, all they do is tell you they are vegan and then spend the whole evening checking what the ingredients are.

SpinsForGin · 04/02/2022 17:58

@Porcupineintherough

The plain fact is that restrictive eating is seen as an unattractive trait by a chunk of the population. I dont think arguing whether this is justified or not, or in which circumstances, gets us very far. For some it's a deal breaker, for others it might be acceptable if x/y/z, for others it's no problem. Same as moustaches, or an obsession with cycling, or whatever.

And that's absolutely fine! I wouldn't want to date someone who had issues with how I eat. But there's no need to insult people.

My deal breaker is people who mock me and make me feel like shit for not being able to eat and enjoy food in the same way they do. That goes for friendships as well as relationships

QueenofDestruction · 04/02/2022 18:33

FrugalFrancine not everything is about you. People are allowed their opinions and can decide they don't want to date anyone for any reason.

Original poster

Callcat · 04/02/2022 20:00

StrychnineIntheSandwiches I got as far as 'vetegatbles don't want to be eaten' before I got the fuck out of dodge. He is quite influencable if the influence is...non-mainstream? He says of the hundreds of thousands of scientific studies on the health benefits of eating a varied diet is 'that's what the media want you to think'. Annoyingly he's a dick but actually very nice. He looked after me like an angel when I was super ill, in a way 99.99% of men never ever would have and is a very dear friend so I won't tolerate a complete takedown of his personality...but yes he's generally v.annoyingly wrong about stuff (half the time it's just to be contrary) but does 100% stick to his principles. I was hoping a small sample of women saying 'hell no I wouldn't date him' would be an incentive to change his red blooded mind (but he highly likely won't). He has agreed to some fruit and berries on the back of it though so thank you all for your direct opinions.

OP posts:

StrychnineIntheSandwiches · 04/02/2022 20:29

lol

I love the idea of him agreeing to nibble on a few blueberries in the hope of getting some action

Original poster

Callcat · 04/02/2022 21:11

StrychnineIntheSandwiches. Blubes for boobs!

OP posts:

DrinkingWishingSmokingHoping · 05/02/2022 15:45

@Neurodiversitydoctor

Are you a healthcare professional@Neurodiversitydoctor?

Yup

Dear god.

miltonj · 05/02/2022 15:50

I'd struggle if they wouldn't even have stuff chopped up or blended in Bolognese for example. And be hard work when trying to get kids too eat them if daddy doesn't. But me and DH although we both like a big range of food, day to day we prefer to eat different kinds of meals and it doesn't negatively effect our relationship so maybe I could live with it within reason.

ElevenOG · 05/02/2022 15:53

DP only willingly eats peas despite being vegetarian nearly all his life. He was raised on chips, eggs, toast, etc. and no fruit at all. We're both veggie (I literally eat a bowl of steamed veg for dinner) but I have to be creative with his food. The biggest victory was cauliflower mash. He doesn't cook so he's oblivious to the fact that he eats spinach pretty much every day, but given a choice he will only choose peas.

Honestly it's really bloody annoying at times and would put me off someone if I found out in the early days of dating.