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Original poster

What would a non binary teacher be addressed as?

288 replies

GemGEmGemster · 02/02/2022 18:55

dd’s school expects all teachers to be addressed as ‘sir’ or ‘miss’. She’s just asked me what a non binary teacher would be called. Any ideas?

OP posts:
EishetChayil · 03/02/2022 13:03

Right now I feel male. At other times I feel female.

What does this even mean? How can you like something you're not?

There is literally nothing more to being female than having XX chromosomes, and primary and secondary female reproductive organs. You can't feel like you have a penis when you have a vagina.

It's delusional.

FOJN · 03/02/2022 13:13

Kids are not stupid. But they are impressionable. To give the wholesale view that denying reality, and compelling speech is normal and healthy is quite frankly, fucked up.

Quite and any adult who endorses it should be ashamed of themselves, it's gaslighting and therefore abusive.

Caliexpidocioussuper · 03/02/2022 14:40

As a teacher I am dreading the day when this happens in my school. It’s absolutely a hill I am willing to die on and it will end my career. I am an educator. I teach cold hard facts and the day I can’t is the day I quit.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
MerryMarigold · 03/02/2022 15:01

My DC school is Sir and Madam. I thought it was weird at first but on reflection, I like it. Madam is much more commanding-of-respect than "Miiiiiiiiiyyyyisssss".

donquixotedelamancha · 03/02/2022 17:37

There’s often threads about people not wanting to put their titles in emails and things at work. A lot of workers feel they’re judged if they’re male or more usually female so it’s not always because they’re non binary.

Yes but generally most students meet their teachers.

Rheopecticfluid · 03/02/2022 19:11

@EishetChayil

Right now I feel male. At other times I feel female.

What does this even mean? How can you like something you're not?

There is literally nothing more to being female than having XX chromosomes, and primary and secondary female reproductive organs. You can't feel like you have a penis when you have a vagina.

It's delusional.

You'll never get an answer to this.
Soontobe60 · 03/02/2022 19:17

@VivienneDelacroix

You don't say - "do you know who was sitting there, it's left it's coat?" Do you *@sandynorm* ? You say "they've left their coat".

"Everyone loves their mother."
"Someone is humming, could they stop please".

Singular they has been in use for at least 600 years, don't pretend it's not a thing to suit you're own agenda.

Anyway, as others have said, generally they would use Mx. It's not hard to get your head round using non-gendered titles. I had a teacher called Dr Smith, we didn't call her Miss or Mrs, we called Dr Smith, because someone's title is their own choice. (Oh look, there's that pesky singular "their" again).

everyone loves their mother isn’t using the singular. The other examples you’ve used all use ‘they’ because we don’t know who is being talked about.
Soontobe60 · 03/02/2022 19:19

[quote TheLovelinessOfDemons]**@SD1978* teenage/early twenties phenomenon/thing*? I'm 54. I'm genderfluid.[/quote]
Everyone who doesn’t ascribe to gender ideology is technically gender fluid.

junglejane66 · 03/02/2022 19:31

@KindergartenKop

I saw a thing in a kids magazine where their teacher was non binary and called themselves 'Teacher Jones'.
Or in Wales 'Jones the teacher'
Soontobe60 · 03/02/2022 19:34

[quote MerryPoppings]**@KitchenTowel "Even for a hypothetical question I'd say that the answer is to ask the person concerned about their preference. The thing with gender identification is to understand that some people don't fall into neatly defined boxes or into pre defined boxes. And some people don't want to be told (or Agent comfortable with being told) what they should define themselves as or what they should call themselves. So the answer is always: "whatever they prefer"."

But isn't it gender ideology that is seeking to put people into boxes and put labels on everyone? Most people just think they have a sex - male or female - and a personality that may or may not conform to sex stereotypes. Why can't everyone just live according to their personality without having to label themselves and others?[/quote]
@KitchenTowel
You’re conflating sex with gender. And surely, NOT having boxes at all is the antithesis of gender ideology.
Non binary - I don’t want to go in either box
Gender fluid - I swap between both boxes when I feel like it
Masculine - I wear trousers, think I’m better than women and never cry
Feminine - I wear floaty dresses, make up and love watching Love Actually

ufucoffee · 03/02/2022 19:39

@Caliexpidocioussuper

As a teacher I am dreading the day when this happens in my school. It’s absolutely a hill I am willing to die on and it will end my career. I am an educator. I teach cold hard facts and the day I can’t is the day I quit.
Good for you @Caliexpidocioussuper
Twopenny · 03/02/2022 20:14

A lot of people's objections to Mx sound like the same tiresome stuff we went through with Ms - like saying they don't know how to say it, that the titles we have are perfectly adequate, that now they're afraid they'll get it wrong and someone will get terribly offended, etc, etc...

I'm not trans or non-binary, but I never liked having to use a gendered title. Dropping it wasn't my sole motivation in doing a PhD, but it was absolutely a bonus. Mx is great, and I support anyone who wants to use it for any reason they like.

Rheopecticfluid · 03/02/2022 20:15

Don't ever remember that being an issue with Ms. It's fairly standard. Unlike Mx. Which isn't.

SirChenjins · 03/02/2022 22:03

A lot of people's objections to Mx sound like the same tiresome stuff we went through with Ms…

When did we go through this with with Ms? I’m in my 50s and don’t remember the widespread confusion you describe.

I’m quite happy to have a title that demonstrates my biological reality - I was born female therefore I am female. I refuse to divulge my marital status though unless it’s absolutely necessary - the vast majority of the time it’s not. Ms suffices.

KittenKong · 03/02/2022 22:05

I’ve been Ms since 1993. Can’t say anyone has ever had a problem with it.

pollygartertidywife · 03/02/2022 22:28

What a load of old time wasting naval gazing twaddle. Be whatever gender you fancy. This week I'm identifying as a fairy unicorn. I still know what sex I am though as my fairy unicorn brain is unaffected. Therefore I am Mrs or Miss.. I'll answer to either .

FOJN · 03/02/2022 22:32

Caliexpidocioussuper

Thank you. We can teach children to be tolerant and accepting without lying to them. It horrifies me that children are even thinking about how to address their teachers without causing offence. It is unreasonable to expect children to take any responsibility for the feelings of adults beyond teaching them that violence and abuse is never acceptable toward anyone.

KittenKong · 03/02/2022 22:35

Can you imagine the consternation if it was decided that all teachers be called ‘teacher Smith/Jones etc’.

No one would be special 😢

Saracen · 04/02/2022 01:21

The kids should call the teacher whatever the teacher wants to be called, of course.

I'm sure most teachers are used to kids forgetting and using the wrong title and will not be bothered by that, so long as the kids are reasonably respectful.

Saracen · 04/02/2022 01:33

@SirChenjins

A lot of people's objections to Mx sound like the same tiresome stuff we went through with Ms…

When did we go through this with with Ms? I’m in my 50s and don’t remember the widespread confusion you describe.

I’m quite happy to have a title that demonstrates my biological reality - I was born female therefore I am female. I refuse to divulge my marital status though unless it’s absolutely necessary - the vast majority of the time it’s not. Ms suffices.

I'm also in my 50s, and until the last 15 years or so, many people around me have claimed that Ms was unpronounceable and that anyone opting for Ms was just being difficult for the sake of it, and should go for Miss or Mrs. Oh, and also that married women ought to take their husbands' names so it's easier to remember who is married to whom.

I agree with the poster you've quoted. People just react against things they aren't used to, and come up with all sorts of justifications for keeping everything the same as it's always been.

Now I prefer Mx when I can get it, especially in dealings with strangers. I don't believe that my electricity supplier has any need to know my sex or my gender. They just need a generic title to put in front of my surname so their letters will look polite. (I'll settle for Dear Customer, however, provided they get my bills right!)

Rheopecticfluid · 04/02/2022 06:32

@KittenKong

Can you imagine the consternation if it was decided that all teachers be called ‘teacher Smith/Jones etc’.

No one would be special 😢

I know. Devastating right? People wouldn't be able to bring their whole selves to work anymore 😢
cookiemonster2468 · 04/02/2022 06:56

Mx (pronounced "Mix") is quite common I believe.

But really you would just ask them, obviously.

HandScreen · 04/02/2022 06:58

"Teacher" is fairly normal.

cookiemonster2468 · 04/02/2022 07:00

It horrifies me that children are even thinking about how to address their teachers without causing offence

Really?

Children have always been taught to address teachers respectfully and hence in a way that does not cause offence.

Respecting other humans, including your teachers, is a part of the experience of being at school, learning and growing as a person.

Whatwouldscullydo · 04/02/2022 07:03

Children have always been taught to address teachers respectfully and hence in a way that does not cause offence

Thej don't use children as props to validate your identity. They are there to learn.