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Original poster

Is your parents house still your 'home?'

162 replies

seekinglondonlife · 29/01/2022 09:07

Saw something on another thread that made me think how lovely it must be to go to your parents house and still feel it is home.
Although we are close, I have quite a formal relationship with my DM and step dad. I don't have a house key, when I visit them I ring the doorbell and wait for them to answer the door, even if I can see them through the window. My old bedroom has been turned into a room for one of my siblings (he lives an hour away) and the box room is now a bedroom for his dd. None of the other dgc have ever spent a night in their house.
Weirdly I feel much more comfortable in DHs family home.

OP posts:
BrandNewFor2022 · 29/01/2022 09:13

It is still my home, and I know that's how they always wanted it Smile it's also a home from home for my DH and DC now.

We have a key, they like us to turn up unannounced and just let ourselves in. DH kicks his shoes off and puts the kettle on as soon as he gets there Grin the kids have toys and spare clothes there, and all of their DGPs attention.

If DH goes out for a few drinks with my DF he'd think nothing of walking back to theirs and sleeping in the spare room rather than walk home or jump in a taxi.

We lived with them through the first lockdown and that made us all even closer.

Pleaseuniverseplease · 29/01/2022 09:14

My Grandparents house always felt like home to me. I did live with them as a young child and it's where all my happy memories were made.
My grandmother actually referred to her mother's house (my great-grandmother's house) as being her home - and she did even as an older lady.

Itstheprinciple · 29/01/2022 09:16

I do have a key to my mum's house but I knock if she's in rather than use the key. The house she lives in now isn't my child hood home (in fact she's moved twice since I moved out) so I don't have that sense of it being my house.

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xyzandabc · 29/01/2022 09:17

No, my parents have moved house twice since I left home and now live 500 miles away from where I grew up.

mdh2020 · 29/01/2022 09:17

My DC still think of our house as home because they grew up here and have never known us living anywhere else. I left home at 18 just after my DP moved and their new flat was never my home. I slept there for a few months, that’s all.

Ostryga · 29/01/2022 09:18

Yes - In my30s and still refer going to my parents as going home.

Dd has her own room there (only grandchild!) so it feels like a second home for her too.

Snowiscold · 29/01/2022 09:20

Yes. I’m in my 50s and still feel my parents’ house is home. I don’t have a key, though, and my old bedroom is now an office/junk room - though still with my childhood/teen wallpaper and pictures on the walls.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 29/01/2022 09:21

I didn’t have this set up but I very much hope my grown up DC will always think of my home as ‘home’ or at least a very cosy safe place to visit.

Original poster
seekinglondonlife · 29/01/2022 09:22

Loving all of these. I definitely want my dc to always feel that our house (whether it is this one or any subsequent ones) is home, where they are welcome any time.

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 29/01/2022 09:24

No, I moved out around 20 years ago and DM went into crazy cat lady mode. The litter trays are not good.

WhatHaveIFound · 29/01/2022 09:25

No, because it wasn't my childhood home. I don't feel any connection to the house at all as despite them living there for over 25 years, i've never stayed overnight.

SomewhereOnlyIKnow · 29/01/2022 09:26

My parents sold the house I grew up in several years ago, but I still think of that house as my home.

DarleneSnell · 29/01/2022 09:27

My parents have moved since I moved out, so their house isn't "home" for me as I've never lived there - but it's down the road, I have a key, come and go as I please, and my mum insists I always have a home with them if I ever need it. Smile

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 29/01/2022 09:27

Not physically because they moved when I was on my year abroad & then downsized and bought a beautiful flat on the seafront so I've only really been a visitor
But
I feel completely at home when I'm with them if that makes sense.

Original poster
seekinglondonlife · 29/01/2022 09:28

Just to clarify, I don't mean do your parents still live in your childhood home, more is the home your dps live in now a welcoming and homely place for you.

OP posts:
BellaVita · 29/01/2022 09:29

No, because I didn’t grow up in the house they now live in.

YellowLemonz · 29/01/2022 09:29

I do.
Still have a key, still call my old bedroom my bedroom 🙈

Keladrythesaviour · 29/01/2022 09:31

It's still my childhood home and I feel very comfortable when I'm there, but I don't feel like it's 'home' any more. I did for many years but I think it's slowly changed, especially now in our second house. I'd never let myself in (unless they weren't home) and I'm conscious to try and do things their way so as to not be a bull in a China shop but it's still a comforting place to be.

bigbluebus · 29/01/2022 09:32

It was up until my DM died a few years ago and the house was sold. My family had owned the house for 53 years. I still had a door key and would knock but let myself in at the same time when visiting. As DM became more frail after DF died, I found myself accessing more of the house again on visits as I had to do jobs to help her out. After she died I had to clear the house out. It still contained many of my childhood toys as my parents rarely threw things away. So it was still very much my childhood home. I'm still in touch with the neighbours on either side of the house.

Onionpatch · 29/01/2022 09:32

I feel welcome in my mums and my in laws and they both feel homely. I've never been to my Dads! I do see him and we get on well.

MajorCarolDanvers · 29/01/2022 09:32

My parents don't live in the same house as I grew up in so whilst it's lovely to visit I have never lived there so not my home.

RampantIvy · 29/01/2022 09:32

When my parents were still alive I would say that "I am ging home for the weekend" even though I had been married for a number of years and was living 250 miles away. Now that all the older generation in my family have died and my sister has moved away from my home town I don't consider it as home any more.

Agadorsparticus · 29/01/2022 09:33

It would have been had they not divorced when I was in my 30s. Grin

zafferana · 29/01/2022 09:33

Not particularly - no! I find it stressful staying with my DPs and would rather not stay there. Unfortunately, they live too far away for us to go there and back easily in a day and there are too many people to see in one day as well. I keep our visits as short as possible though. I'm an adult with my own home and I simply don't enjoy staying in other people's houses.

Tinkles78 · 29/01/2022 09:34

My own house is now my "home" with my own family, but my parents house is still a home from home and my DH and DC feel as comfortable there as in our own home!

When we visit we wouldn't dream of knocking, we just let ourselves in. Lots of toys for the kids, very welcoming and we feel we can fully relax.

Similar with in-laws although that was never my house so I suppose I don't feel quite as relaxed there!

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