Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Is your parents house still your 'home?'

162 replies

seekinglondonlife · 29/01/2022 09:07

Saw something on another thread that made me think how lovely it must be to go to your parents house and still feel it is home.
Although we are close, I have quite a formal relationship with my DM and step dad. I don't have a house key, when I visit them I ring the doorbell and wait for them to answer the door, even if I can see them through the window. My old bedroom has been turned into a room for one of my siblings (he lives an hour away) and the box room is now a bedroom for his dd. None of the other dgc have ever spent a night in their house.
Weirdly I feel much more comfortable in DHs family home.

OP posts:
middleager · 29/01/2022 11:34

We lived in a couple of childhood homes, moving to the second when I was 11.

My parents got divorced and sold up when I was 19/20 so, it's not a place I can visit inside anymore.

Tulips21 · 29/01/2022 12:17

Very Much so, they bought it when I was 2 & still live there 35yrs on.
Its a lovely house and has always been homely, my parents are v.welcoming, the door is always open, I always knock then go in.My siblings just walk in
My mother still buys our favourite food and she will often prep meals if she knows we are visiting- I dont expect it, but she always does it.
My old room is now a play room for The DGC and the other 2rooms are made up for dgc when they stay.

boobot1 · 29/01/2022 12:18

I have a key and feel totally at home at mum and dads, but then i don't knock on any of my families door, I just walk in make myself a cuppa and they all do likewise at mine. Dh family knock first and I always found that weird. Even my friends don't knock and I don't at their houses. Just the way its always been🤷‍♀️

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
SamMil · 29/01/2022 12:35

My mum doesn't live in the same place anymore and my dad's house wasn't really my home. I do feel quite sad about it sometimes too!

smooshraspberry · 29/01/2022 12:35

My mum & stepdad's home will always be home. We all have a key and come and go as we please. There has always been an open door policy. The cupboard and fridges is ours for the taking. My nieces see it as their second home and it will be the same for my children. It's how I want my house to be!

userxx · 29/01/2022 12:39

Not since they moved house, I have no connection to it apart my my parents obviously.

sofakingcool · 29/01/2022 12:44

Nope, they've moved house twice since I left home!

deathofastrawberry · 29/01/2022 12:46

Aww I'm so jealous of people who have this.. sadly my parents split when I was 14, but just imagining what it would be like to still have that house as my 'home' and to be able to go back there regularly would be so lovely even if just one parent lived there.. but sadly they both live a good distance from me now. I definitely want my son to feel that he can come 'home' whenever he wants when he grows up.

3boyshere · 29/01/2022 12:49

@CrimbleCrumble1 I hope my children will always think of here as home. I lost my mum when I was 26 and my dad remarried a lovely lady. They moved from the place I was brought up and theirs never feels like home x

MrsTophamHat · 29/01/2022 13:07

Yes.

Of course my own house is home, but my parents house feels like home too. I always want my children to feel at home here.

DinosApple · 29/01/2022 13:11

I still call my parents home home. They still live where I grew up. I haven't had a house key since a year after marriage and my old bedroom is now an office/guest room.

I've not been inside in two years, but the garden is still the same.

Fuzzywuzzyface · 29/01/2022 13:17

My parents live 3 hours away so don't see them that often. I have always had a key and when the lock was changed a few years ago I was given the new key. When we visit I go straight in without knocking, have a nosy in the fridge and help myself - I am 52 🤣🤣

ParkheadParadise · 29/01/2022 13:23

Yes, it always was.
All 6 of us had keys to my parent's house. I would let myself in make something to eat go for a sleep on the sofa😂 DH was very much at home in my parent's house.
I sometimes drive by now and have a look in the window to see what the new owners are doing in MY house.

Dd has a bedroom at my in-law's house and lots of toys there. Dd(6) is very relaxed there. I sit on the sofa and don't move. I couldn't imagine lying on the sofa and going to sleep 😂😂

Dilbertian · 29/01/2022 13:27

My siblings and I have all kept our house keys, no matter where we lived. Our rooms gradually got repurposed, but still with beds in them, and we can all come whenever we like and stay as long as we like. All the grandchildren have stayed at my parents' without their own parents. When they were babies and toddlers there were always cots/playpen/potties at our parents, some provided by us, some by our parents.

While we can come and go as we please, when our parents are at home (they travel a lot) we always check first, as we don't want to give them a fright by opening their front door unexpectedly.

It's different with my ILs. AFAIK none of their dc have kept their house keys, and they like to have any visits discussed and agreed beforehand. All baby equipment was provided by us (and dh's siblings) for use during our stays, though we were allowed to leave a travel cot there. One of the bedrooms has had twin beds put in "for the grandchildren". Which is very nice, but dh has more than two dc with me!

ILs are completely welcoming, but I don't think dh thinks of his childhood home as 'home'.

Ihaveoflate · 29/01/2022 13:31

No. My mum's moved twice since then and although I feel welcome, it's not my home and I don't stay there. I have my own home.

We moved a couple of times in my childhood but the house we lived in longest was not a happy home. It didn't feel 'homely' even when I lived there.

I very much want my daughter to feel she has a secure, loving home to return to whenever she wants.

Strokethefurrywall · 29/01/2022 13:31

Just to clarify, I don't mean do your parents still live in your childhood home, more is the home your dps live in now a welcoming and homely place for you.

Yes 1000 times over. It’s not even the home I grew up in as they sold up in 2017, much to my despair, but I realised that for me wherever my parents were felt like “home”.
And I say that as someone who has lived overseas for 14+ years and still refers to the UK as “home”, even though it’s not!

I’ve booked to visit at Easter and haven’t seen my family for 3 years so the thought of seeing my family at arrivals at LHR moves me to tears I’m so excited!

My parents home always smells of lavender or roast lamb cooking 😂
I hope that my boys consider that no matter where they end up when they’re adults, they will always consider wherever DH and I are “home”. They’ll always be welcome and I hope they feel comfortable enough to kick off their shoes, make a cup of tea and help themselves to food in the fridge.

Dilbertian · 29/01/2022 13:35

My ds at uni has a house key and comes home whenever he likes. We asked him to swap bedrooms with his youngest sibling when he left, and dh uses ds1's new bedroom as his WFH office. Dh moves downstairs whenever ds1 comes home. Ds1 keeps whatever he wants in his 'new' bedroom. Although we rearranged it as an office/guest bedroom for the moment, we've promised ds1 that, should he move back after uni, it will be fully his and he can refurnish it to his liking.

Tal45 · 29/01/2022 13:38

No because I'm always made to feel like a major inconvenience. I get quite upset when people on here say their child is an 'adult' and needs to stand on their on two feet. I ended up in an abusive relationship because once I'd gone to uni it was made clear I wasn't wanted at my parents any more as it was important I stood on my own two feet and I had no where else to go.

DisforDarkChocolate · 29/01/2022 13:39

My Dad still lives in the house we moved to when I was about 11. It doesn't feel like home any more. It did feel like a place I felt very comfortable for a long time but it doesn't feel like anyone's home now. It's sad.

Mumoblue · 29/01/2022 13:41

Nope, not at all. I stayed with my mother for a month after my relationship ended and while I’m extremely grateful for that it was very strange being an adult living with my parents again.
It’s nice to visit, but it’s very much their home, not mine.

Attictroll · 29/01/2022 13:46

No parents moved 9 years ago...before that yes I probably thought of the place I grew up as home. Mil is definitely dp home he was born there 50 years ago and for a while loved with mil after fil died so it's very much comfortable to help self etc.

Longdistance · 29/01/2022 13:53

Even though my bedroom has been converted into an office, I’m still welcome home and have keys. The front door was changed just before Christmas and Yale keys were ordered and laid for me and sent to my address.

BurntToastAgain · 29/01/2022 13:54

I haven’t felt like my mum’s house was home since I moved it. My house is home. My mum’s house is just awkward and not very comfortable. She likes it, but her choices don’t suit me.

mrsdolittle · 29/01/2022 13:56

DM sold our family home after DF passed away about 13 years ago. But her new house still felt like my family home because it was her home if that makes sense. I had to sell her house to fund care home fees about a year ago and I was so sad because it felt like I was selling our family home, not just hers. But she remained in the village where I grew up so in that sense I still felt grounded to the place.

DM passed away at the end of last summer and one of the very very many things that are so hard is that I've not just lost her but the village I grew up in

TragicMuse · 29/01/2022 13:58

I don't think of my mum's house as home but that's because it isn't my childhood home, she left that house about 25 years ago.

She now lives in her parents old home, and I'm very familiar with it. I love it dearly, It's been part of my life for over 50 years, I know the different sound of every door, every creak of the stairs, the tricks of every light switch and plug socket, but it wasn't ever 'home'.