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Original poster

Is your parents house still your 'home?'

162 replies

seekinglondonlife · 29/01/2022 09:07

Saw something on another thread that made me think how lovely it must be to go to your parents house and still feel it is home.
Although we are close, I have quite a formal relationship with my DM and step dad. I don't have a house key, when I visit them I ring the doorbell and wait for them to answer the door, even if I can see them through the window. My old bedroom has been turned into a room for one of my siblings (he lives an hour away) and the box room is now a bedroom for his dd. None of the other dgc have ever spent a night in their house.
Weirdly I feel much more comfortable in DHs family home.

OP posts:
HearMeSnore · 29/01/2022 10:36

I live 4 hours away now but still think of my parents house as "home". Only their house though, not the town and local area.

I don't have a key (because I wouldn't have any reason to go there when my parents aren't there), and my old room has been changed into a "guest room" (although in reality it's the grandchildrens' sleepover room).

I take DD to visit every school holiday and sometimes slip up in conversation and say I'm "taking her home for half term". DH has been known to take this the wrong way, as if I don't consider our house my home. (I do, but I think it's possible to have a family home and a childhood home, and feel equally comfortable in both.)

NETSRIK · 29/01/2022 10:38

Not at all. Got keys taken from me the day I moved out. Have to give loads of notice if I want to see them. Never felt like home, even when it was home.

RagzRebooted · 29/01/2022 10:40

No, my parents sold up to go travelling and then went to live on a boat. Then DM died and I haven't visited my step father since as he's quite far away.

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DottyHarmer · 29/01/2022 10:40

My parents’ house was my home (bedroom absolutely in tact!) until they died. I can’t imagine knocking at the door or waiting to be offered a drink.

Dh’s home was utterly different. His room was repurposed the second he went to university (in the holidays he was a guest, complete with having to take spongebag to the bathroom Shock ) . Once we turned up unannounced as we were visiting an attraction nearby, and mil would not let us in until she had childproofed the sitting room (dcs were very quiet; they never touched ornaments). I could never imagine my dm in a million years making me wait outside. I wanted to turn round and leave but dh accepted all mil’s rudenesses.

Normando91 · 29/01/2022 10:41

No, my mum moved house a few years ago. But I do feel very comfortable when I go there. She’s made the two guest bedrooms lovely and is an amazing host, can’t do enough for you. I didn’t have grandparents growing up so I love knowing my little boy has such a safe and loving home away from home with his grandparents.

D0lphine · 29/01/2022 10:45

My parents moved out of our family home when they divorced.

To be honest that place never ever felt like home. It was freezing cold and dark. But what I hated more than ever was the horrible tension between my parents that lasted around 6 years...

So that's one way not to miss your family home- make it fucking horrible from age 12-18!!!

Flickflak · 29/01/2022 10:47

This reply has been withdrawn

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Hyenaormeercat · 29/01/2022 10:48

No, grew up in a council house with grandparents and mother. Mother got her own house with her husband when I was 17, lived with them for 18 months. They have moved a few times since then and now are in a tiny bungalow. Grandparents moved to a bungalow and have since passed.

Although my own DC wouldn't be able to come 'home' either, we moved a number of times and after they left we downsized our council house to a small place too.

Funnily when I dream, its always my grandparents original house..never the places I have lived in since adulthood.

AgathaMystery · 29/01/2022 10:48

Nope.

I’m in my 40’s. My home is where I live with DH & DC.

I’ve never lived in either of my parents homes and me and DH find his childhood home almost unbearable to stay in. It is SUPER stressful.

Wizzbangfizz · 29/01/2022 10:49

Christ no, I'm not sure it was ever my home when I lived there.

JessCat75 · 29/01/2022 11:04

Yes I absolutely still call it home.

Fearnyleaves · 29/01/2022 11:06

My mum has moved house 3 times since I've lived 'at home'. Obviously these places have never been my home or felt like it. She left my step father a few years ago and moved into the house she now lives in. I didn't grow up in the town she lives in so have no real connections there, though I did live there for 5 years as well. Where she now lives is so cosy and comfortable and really does actually feel like going home to me which is a really nice feeling.
I always dream of my childhood home which makes me really sad because they had to sell up because of bankruptcy and financial abuse.

MrsSkylerWhite · 29/01/2022 11:08

No, they’ve moved 3 or 4 times since I left decades ago.

I think our adult kids still see our place as home, though.
Going to ask them today!

NothingIsWrong · 29/01/2022 11:08

Dad is deceased and my stepmums house is deffo not my home, but I never lived there (although dad did), and it's in a different city to my "home" city.

Mum has moved since I left home, so it doesn't really feel like my home although I'm always welcome

RobertsRadio · 29/01/2022 11:08

My sense of home was tied up with my parents, not the house itself, because we moved a couple of times before settling into my childhood home between the ages of 10 and 20 years and then my parents moved again when I was 20yrs and I lived with them until I was about 24yrs. My parents made it clear my siblings and I always had a home with them for as long as they were alive. My parents subsequently moved a couple of times more until they settled into their final home. In each case I was given a key. I visited regularly wherever they lived, but always phoned first to check I could stay and always knocked instead of letting myself in, but this just out of respect because if I'd just turned up out of the blue and let myself in they would still have been delighted to see me.

As I got older I realised how lucky I and my siblings were to have such parents, they loved us so much and were always delighted to see us, It is a blessing to have parents like that.

As it happened their last house where my DM ended up staying for 30 years and felt like my 2nd home, is in fact my home now. I bought out my siblings after her death and I feel very settled here and I know my siblings like visiting and that feeling of familiarity.

Stellaris22 · 29/01/2022 11:10

No. We are welcome to stay and I don't feel like I'm imposing, but we are nearly 40 and have our own family now. Our house is now home and I feel a clear distinction between the two.

I'm hoping my children will have the confidence to create their own home separate from us when they are older too.

ANameChangeAgain · 29/01/2022 11:12

No, my home is my home. I have a key to my parent's home, but would never just let myself in, just like they respect my home in the same way. I know I'm welcome anytime, and I'm very comfortable there.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 29/01/2022 11:12

No because they’ve moved twice since I lived at home. However, I can walk in and put the kettle on and make myself comfortable in their home with no standing on ceremony etc so it’s homely.

LondonQueen · 29/01/2022 11:13

No, even when I lived there it didn't feel like home.

WhiteJellycat · 29/01/2022 11:14

Yes it's still my home. I moved out over 20 years ago. Mum.is abusive but I still feel happy and safe there. Very weird really.

I hope my kids would always have a key and let themselves in. I wouldnt want it any other way really.

Tiredmum100 · 29/01/2022 11:15

My parents have moved from the house I grew up in but I have a key to their new house, I give a knock and walk straight in and yes I'd go in the cupboards for food and make a cup of tea.

Guacamole001 · 29/01/2022 11:15

My parents are deceased. So no lol.

Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow · 29/01/2022 11:16

No, home is where my husband is.
Besides, my dad had died, the house i grew up in stopped being my home years ago and my mother lives in a retirement flat.

80sMum · 29/01/2022 11:19

No, as soon as I had left home and set up my own home, I stopped thinking of my parents' house as my home because I had a home of my own.

MistletoeMeadow · 29/01/2022 11:29

No. My parents sold our family home and moved about 100 miles away to an area I don’t know at all, to be nearer my sister who had relocated to that part of the country. I positively dislike visiting, in part because I resent the fact that they moved away from me to be nearer my sister, and in part because it just doesn’t feel nice to visit - my mum is very tidy and house proud, so I’m always worrying about my children making a mess with toys etc. We can’t relax there.

Positively avoid visiting. I hope my own children never feel this way.